Homesteadmamma a ?

[happymommy]

A quote from your thread.
~our kids understand why were doing this and it takes very little to bring them joy. They also understand frugality which will really help. end quote

Would you have any tips on how to talk to our children about the many changes we are going to make this coming year.
I think I'm guilty of complaining about how much everything is etc.
I'm sure they are sick of hearing me. How would you get the message across in a more productive way? I want them to be apart of our journey. kwim?

I don't want to be grumpy, I want to do this with a joyful heart.

Any help teaching and sharing with our children would be greatly appreciated!

[homesteadmamma]

The first thing we did was sit down and tell them what was happening. We explained as well as we could so they would understand. We also assured them they would not go without food (very important to ds#1), warmth, clothing and a home. We also assured them that no matter what happened, they would always come first .

I made them a part of journey. When I went shopping during the month of Dec., they helped me with sale items and loss leaders. When someone gave a RAOK, I always shared it with the kids so they could learn there really are angels in our world.

I'm also a pretty positive person. No matter how bad it got, I always looked for the good. I've tried to teach the kids that as well, not just in financial struggles but in everyday life.

We have always told our kids what our goals are and what we are working for. They know that at the end of our new journey (paying off our van), that we will be going on another dream trip. They remember our last dream trip and so are helping to us to reach our goal.

Personally I firmly believe if you start your kids young and teach them about frugality and goals and make them a part of it, they learn quickly. I also believe that you don't hand your kids everything they want or think they should have. That only makes situations worse when you are in a tough situation because they don't understand - they've gotten everything they always wanted and all of a sudden you can't give them what they want. That's when it becomes very difficult to try and teach them.


I think the biggest thing when going through a financial struggle of any kind is to remain positive in front of your kids. There are times to be frustrated, angry or sad - you can do that when they aren't home, when they are in bed or when they aren't around. Also, try to remember that the fear your feeling, they are probably feeling as well. Let them know it's okay to talk about your fears. Fears and being negative (for me) are two totally different things.

Both dh and I also tried to not focus on only the situation we were in. I so want the kids to not always be focusing on money, whether it's a large amount we are living with or a small amount, kwim. During tough times, we tend to focus so much on the money, we forget about other things, such as good friends, good times, what we do have.

And no matter how difficult the situation, remember to laugh. Laughter will get you through a whole lot.

HTH in some way.

[homesteadmamma]

Personally I also think dwelling on the negative all the time makes for a very unhappy household. Everyone picks up on negativity. It becomes a habit quickly and for those who remain negative all the time, they will soon find their dh/so and their kids becoming more and more negative too.

Attitude plays such a huge part in our everyday living. It plays a more important part when it comes to financial struggles. I don't think I can stress that enough.

I never get tired of hearing of others going through financial struggles when I hear a right attitude. It makes me want to share what I have and help them through their struggle in anyway I can. It's when they continue to focus on the bad and no matter how much they've been helped or what they have, they still continue to remain negative.

[happymommy]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You gave me lots to think about.
I love your possitive attitude! It's priceless.

[hollyhill]

Well put CJ!

I am very grateful that I never emphasized materialism with my children......

In the TG Amy talks about it so well.....something about not handing a child every request because it makes them unhappy! She uses the example of an icecream cone. If the small isn't good enough anymore rather than buying a bigger cone she doesn't buy any for awhile .....then they appreciate the small again....LOL

I also emphasized giving.....and even now it is amazing all the ways we are finding to give with time instead of money. It helps the children to appreciate having our health/home and each other.
So find ways to help others....at a homeless shelter, the food bank the????

And, ditto with Angels. They are feeling so LOVED this year. They have recieved unexpected things from so many people they know that people care.....