Hanging out with the Joneses

**ironmaiden** · 03-02-2006, 04:12 PM

After picking up my kid at school, another couple mothers asked if I wanted to tag along on their outing. Sure I said. Then we went to Wendy's with the kids and then to a ceramics place. You pick out clay pieces, paint them, they glaze and fire them and you come and pick them up next week. Well, I did a mug (that I'll be able to use) as the moms were also doing stuff. My kids did two projects each as their kids were also. The grand tab on this 2 hour playdate was very steep. I figure I'll pick up the pieces when my kids are in school - so they wont want to do more. Remember I have a 3 year old - how many half painted ceramics does she need to keep?

Next, raffle baskets for the kid's school. I figured I'd pass out an envelope around, collect money and have the more creative parents buy and assemble. Talking to someone who has been at the school for a couple years, well, this is the parents trying to outdo each other for the biggest, fanciest, most expensive basket donations. Even bikes.

Then I was listening to parents talk about how they try to outdo each other buying presents for these kids parties.

Gee, where have I been? Not my thinking at all.

**AmyBoz** · 03-02-2006, 04:18 PM

Oh, I hear you! We do birthday parties here at the house with about 7 or 8 kids. However, Julia gets invited to these lavish affairs at play gyms and fun palaces, etc. with about 20 kids at each. As far as I can tell, the kids had just as much fun here as they did at the others!

**carolyns** · 03-02-2006, 06:53 PM

I still find it so amazing that some of these parents dress their kids in only name-brand clothes like Tommy, and authentic sports jersies. I am a lunch mother at my son's school and there is one child in particular who always brings in very expensive toys, whole outfit sets and baggage from build-a-bear that must cost a few hundred dollars, etc. Yet, the other day, when she said she didn't feel well, I asked if she wanted to call her mother. She said she is not allowed to call them at work or else they will be fired. I would feel terrible if my son could not call me if he felt sick. I don't need to work all these hours to buy him things.

**Darlene** · 03-03-2006, 07:19 AM

It's pretty sad, all these people searching for "more", are they ever truly happy or have "enough"?

**freedeal** · 03-03-2006, 10:22 AM

Two very true stories about the Joneses.

1) Just out of college I took a job at a private school teaching. My mother was terminal and the school allowed me to teach part -time. The community is small and is headquaters for a Fortune 200 company. The granddaughter of this family (her father is also a bigwig at the company) would dress in the most gorgeous dresses and outfits but her shoes were ragged. Another little girl who was very country (her great grandfater donated the land many years ago - and written in the contract was that his family could all attend free including grands and great grands). One day the little country girl told the "RICH" kid, "my mom said it is a shame with all the money your daddy has they make you were shoes like that". These were 2nd graders. The little Rich kid NEVER wore another pair of ragged shoes. Her mom took her shoe shopping and she must have bought 10 pair.

2) My son's best friend (girlfriend) parents are both doctors. She is forever telling him that she wished she lived with us, etc. etc. They have 8 cars and only 2 drivers. My son is always saying he wants to live with them. Anyway, I attend all of the school functions and go on all of the field trips. At the end of school last year the top readers went to the aquarium and we slept under the sharks. A couple of months later we were all at dinner and the child and I were laughing about how the shark did not move all night and slept literally above our heads. Her mom looked and said "oh you never told me about that". Believe me that was an important event on that trip as all of the kids were talking about how the shark must have loved the two of us. My son does the morning broadcast for the school TV program. He conviced this little girl to help him. She was a hoot on the show and when I saw her we were talking about it. Her mother again, standing there had no idea she even did the show. When I asked my son about how ofter she actually talks to her parents he said "oh, not much. She tells her baby sitter everything."

I truly realize that there is a price to being the Joneses and it is way to high for me.

**babetteq** · 03-03-2006, 11:22 AM

I live in a very small village (300). Although I haven't seen such obvious displays of conspicuous consumtion, there are lots of people here who made good money in the logging and fishing industries. Their children do nothing but drink and do drugs. They have *nothing* to do. now, these parents have boats, seadoos, atv's, game boxes, giant tvs, brand new giant pick-up trucks... toys toys toys.....

Thier kids have never learned to entertain themselves and want off island, they drink and drink and drink and do drugs and get pregnant.

We have hiking, camping, survival camps, rangers, kayaking, fishing, hunting, many seniors that could use a hand, lots of art, carving, weaving, spinning, driftwood furniture makers, you name it, - but these kids have so many 'toys' that they simply don't know what to do with their time.

It's very sad and somewhat infuriating. Where are these parent's priorities????

babs

**tlenad** · 03-03-2006, 11:55 AM

My cousin and I are debating about taking her nephews to one of those pottery places. We try to do something "Special"fun with the four of us once a year. Normally we take one of the boys to the circus and the other to either the local amusement park or some kind of show. We also take them to McDonalds and let them play in the play place for a few hour first. I can't imagine doing that often though...what a money suck.

Normally when we take them out, we either eat fast food or take them someplace that has kids eat free and take them to the park or something or the play place at the mall. Of course we may have them once every two or so months so it doesn't drain us dry.

As far as kid's birthday parties, I can not believe how lavish people around here are. My cousin Connie jus threw her son's third birthday party. There were close to 50 people there counting adults and they had it catered. Plus there was a clown and a bead table for the kids to make jewerly and pinata and who knows what else. Plus they rented out a place to have it instead of having it at there house. I heard about it second hand as I had to work that night.

**midwestgal** · 03-03-2006, 12:17 PM

It does seem to be getting out of control these days! DH and I couldn't afford to buy into all of that when our 4 kids were young, but they will tell you that they felt they had everything they ever needed as children. From great garage sales, they had beautiful clothes, toys, bikes and a huge library of children's books. Birthday parties were family affairs or a party with about 6 invited friends, my homemade cake, decorations, and games. For a couple years, we had a Nurf basketball hoop on the high wall of our family room, and the kids and Dad had great indoor games. (We moved the furniture.) We spent a lot of time helping with homework and class projects. This is the kind of attention kids really want!

**i.m.cheap** · 03-03-2006, 01:47 PM

My dd attended a private nursery school when she was three. The money that some of these parents shelled out for class parties was astounding! Dd would come home from each party (Christmas, Valentine's, Easter, etc.) with a "goodie bag" (shopping bag size!) just overflowing with stuff. We usually signed up to bring the fruit punch, or napkins. Other parents would try to outdo each other by providing toys like Barbie dolls for all the girls, and Hot Wheel collector sets for all the boys, $5 gift certificates to fast food restaurants for each child in the class, art sets, huge bags of candy, etc. It was unreal! We did not send her back to that school when she was four.

**littlemotherhaywood** · 03-03-2006, 01:58 PM

Luckily, I haven't had to deal with this too much as far as other kids parties and stuff go. I know that the other kids do activities that are expensive and of course, brag about it, but my dd has some understanding about value and money....I think. When we shop for other kids, we almost always find lots of little things for less than ten dollars that are fun and usually appreciated. I understand the whole "hanging with the Joneses" and I just try not to, lol. I have friends that are more showy and I just find ways to bow out of their activities. I can't afford to go the ceramic place or do the MNO at a restaurant a few times a month like they do. I'm the one who always comes up with the "free" activities for all of the kids. I don't believe you have to pay to have a good time and I've always avoided the playtimes at the mall because I don't know if I could resist a stop at my favorite shops

**3-boys-4-me** · 03-03-2006, 02:44 PM

Wait until Middle and High School. It's ridiculous! Some of the kids around here have nicer cars then their parents, and the parents are paying for them! They are wearing $80 jeans and $150 sneakers. And they won't just have one pair of sneakers, they have to have them in every color made. Did I mention most of these kids don't have jobs?

**NoDebtMom** · 03-03-2006, 04:34 PM

The Jones' drive me crazy, and I know quite a few. I think it is one thing to actually make a lot of money, and choose to spend it on a big party, etc.. then there are the ones who I am almost certain DON'T make much money (of course none of my business, and who ever really knows what someone makes) and keep the facade of wealth going. Of course the ones who do make a bunch of money may be in major debt too, who really knows... I don't want to be a Jones.

**momof42003** · 03-03-2006, 07:12 PM

Want to hear something funny?? I am related to the Joneses.... NO joke..... LOLOLOL.... They are in no way that kind of "Joneses" though... My neice on the other hand just informed me that if she keeps her grades up and doesn't skip school, she would get her dads new Honda Civic... She is just turning 16 in June.... Her sister had to get an old VW bug when she was 16..... GO figure... Dniece has only name brand clothes and expensive makeup, she has a 500.00 cell phone that her dad bought her "on sale" for 200.00.... She was like it was ONLY 200.00.....

She expects to be treated like a queen and nothing less is good enough.. My dd has several times called her out and totally put her in her place.. LOLOL.... Once my neice was horrified that she was going to the movies with no makeup on, and dd said causually and sincerely "Why do you need makeup when we are going somewhere where it is dark and no one can see your face?" All I could do was laugh....... Kids all around my dd are going through all the above... Most of the kids on her sport teams however seem to be a little more grounded.... Thank goodness... I am not looking forward to High School though.

**ironmaiden** · 03-09-2006, 05:46 PM

The Jones stuck it to me again.

I've been collecting money from my DS' kindergarten class for these raffle baskets. There are a few families that I know don't have alot and one even said that they'd have to wait til payday to give me money. I have not dictated an amount, and refuse to. Some parents are doing things with their older kid's friend's moms. And thus aren't donating. Some are giving me a token amount just to help out my collecting. All family names that donated will go on the card.

Well, the PTO is pissed at me!!! That this "collection" thing cannot happen again as they are afraid it will decrease future donations. Ummm... some of these families would definitely not have donated an entire basket. I was going to go in for 1/3rd anyway. It's the thought that counts? And, it is how many raffle tickets they sell that determines how much money they raise not the number of donated baskets. sigh ...

**madhen** · 03-09-2006, 06:01 PM

I always think about conspicuous consumption when I see clips of celebrity weddings. Especially when they divorce a year later. I just wonder how much real love there is when the spectacle is more important than the event it represents. It would be nice to see a celebrity couple have a private, small, normal ceremony and donate $75,000 to charity once in a while. But then, if I made millions of dollars per picture, and had fifteen or so pictures under my belt, maybe a $75,000 Greek extravaganza with 300 of my closest friends WOULD feel normal!