Negative Thoughts on 'Tightness'

**McD** · 03-05-2006, 09:46 AM

This is just something I was thinking about during a 530 am feeding.

Being frugal used to be kind of like a badge women and men wore with pride. It was a way of life, and most Americans lived it, and what's more, they liked it.

I grew up next to a woman who lived through the depression. She did not waste anything. She would erase and rewrite on paper until there were holes in it, and then she'd burn it in the fireplace. (Really saves on trash bill

) She would cut up plastic bags, sew them together and crochet rugs out of them. Same thing with her old skirts, shirts, etc.

Somewhere along the lines though, things changed. People stopped thinking of frugal as being a good thing. In fact, most people don't even use the word frugal at all, they label people as 'cheap' or as a 'tightwad'.

Is it just me or do both of those words have negative connotation? I hear cheap and I think poorly made, bad quality etc, I hear tightwad and I think of Ebenezer Scrooge, who we all know was a jerk.

So I guess, my musings about all this are leading me to this question:

When did becoming frugal, 'tight', or 'cheap' become a bad thing in society's eyes?

**AmyBoz** · 03-05-2006, 09:47 AM

Probably around the same time that having more, more, MORE and bigger, better, faster became the American way.

**Mamaw** · 03-05-2006, 09:58 AM

When marketing and advertising became more and more prominent and we, the public, believed it! LOL ! I also think as life has sped up for most of us, we find the time it takes to do things frugally is not available. We are so busy working that even the normal household chores fall by the wayside or are hired out to others. We have lost the pride in domestic skills such as cooking, sewing, needlecraft and the like and instead have become a disposable culture. But here on the village, I see alot of pride and joy felt by those who rearrange their lifestyles and find time to engage in those tasks. Sorry, I am getting on a soap box here so I will just stop!

**AmyMCGS** · 03-05-2006, 10:04 AM

Interesting question... and I agree with both answers above mine. We are a society that wants more, more, more, and yet we want to toss anything we're done with. It's a shame, but skills like home cooking and needlework are becoming less and less popular.

**frugalfarmwife** · 03-05-2006, 10:34 AM

Oh Mamaw hit the nail on the head! We're just bombarded all day every day with all the things we HAVE to have (in the opinion of the advertising agencies!) Just last night hubby and I were really ripping into an ad for that new razor with 5 blades, first of all the amount of money in that fancy ad, geez! That started us talking about our dads old safety razors and the change in razors through the years, lol.

Oh, and one day I just BUSTED up laughing at hubby, an ad actuall hooked him! He was watching one of those ads for the new Dodge Magnum station wagons, a STATION WAGON!!! But since they were making it all "manly" in the ads he said "you know, those are kind of cool" I ABOUT DIED LAUGHING!! This is a DIEHARD pick up truck farming man, a station wagon?

He was SOOOOOOOO embarassed when I pointed out to him that they GOT HIM GOOD!

Oh, and people can call me what they want, it's what gets the bills paid that matters!

kj

**Shell** · 03-05-2006, 10:50 AM

I used to think of the words tightwad and frugal as negative but, to me it is a compliment now!

**pkellyc** · 03-05-2006, 11:13 AM

I think is so sad in general to think that new things will give us any sort of lasting happiness.

**schellie69** · 03-05-2006, 11:40 AM

I hear alot of comments when I tell people that I make a lot of food from scratch. They look at me like I am crazy they say no one cooks from scratch any more, I love to cook, I also have been learning to sew and people say way not just buy new, I also spend time watching sales and using coupons. I don't care if people call me tightwad or cheap I take it as a complement now and just smile because I know I have all my bills paid and They are stuggling to pay theirs..... so who is the crazy one? lol

guest7 · 03-05-2006, 11:53 AM

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=405867

I was reading Sarah's thread this morning. which posted this article.
I found interesting. Talks about the same thing.

**chatterweb** · 03-05-2006, 02:28 PM

I like saving money getting free stuff and think it is smart to do, especially in CA.

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-05-2006, 02:48 PM

You know, I was talking to my mom yesterday about going to a thrift shop, I just mentioned that she should drive since I drove last time, her response was "Stop being so cheap" I told her it's only fair, and it's not being cheap it's being equal.

It's funny, if she's calling me cheap why does she like to shop thrifty like me? She and her hubby together make over $60,000 a year with no kids at home and a rent/utilities and car payment. We have a family of 5 + pay child support for 2 other children, have a mortgage and utilities and hubby makes a little more than half of what they bring in - THATS WHY I AM FRUGAL.

She just doesn't get it, and it hurts when she calls me cheap. But I respond with that's right "Who wouldn't rather pay $3 for an Abercrombie and Fitch shirt at the thrift store than pay $30 at the store?" I dont have diamond necklaces, rings or a jewelry box full of jewelry like she does, I can't afford stuff like that.

I am frugal to the core and proud of it!

**Telephus44** · 03-05-2006, 02:59 PM

I agree with everything that's been said - and if you wanted to pin it down to a date, I would guess in the post WWII economic boom was when all of the rampant comsumerism started to replace frugality as a virtue. I also believe that was around when we were encourage to spend more to help the economy (which makes of course no sense to me).

(FYI - I was born in 78, so I'm just guessing here)

**Cele** · 03-05-2006, 04:31 PM

It's peer pressure--it doesn't end in high school. It doesn't ever end, really. It seems many people just don't give a lot of thought to our culture's status quo...they go along with it until/unless they're jolted by some event.

Another issue is that too many equate frugal with extreme. It seems like an all-or-nothing prospect. That's unfortunate, because it scares people away from making changes.

Finally, those of us who have embraced the lifestyle have a responsibility (imho) to remain humble and respect that there are many ways for people to be successful in their frugalness. I have seen self-proclaimed "cheapskates" bully others who have a different approach to a simple life. That's rude, not to mention counter-productive.

**ironmaiden** · 03-05-2006, 05:40 PM

At church today the sunday school mothers were talking about the gay married guys with two adopted kids one being a newborn - hey this is massachusetts . And the women were complaining that these guys have the time to actually make pancakes for everyone - making the women look bad. I didn't mention that my DH made us blueberry and banana pancakes that morning.

I think in the 70's it became uncool for women to excel at domestics - knitting, sewing, cooking, cleaning became associated with the housewife. The feminist woman with the whole world in front of her rejected the domestic stuff in favor of the world. That being good at the housestuff meant that you weren't smart and out in the world. You were better than that drudgery. So the women didn't learn, thus didn't teach their daughters.

So we now have a generation that has no idea how to cook from scratch or make anything or use ingenuity to solve domestic problems. Throwing money at problems is "the solution".

**PrairieRose** · 03-05-2006, 10:07 PM

I agree with all the above but want to add that we perpetuate this quandry by 'enabling' our children. We start at an early age to teach them (indirectly ofcourse and even absentmindedly) that they "deserve" the best of everything without having to work for it. I'm really sometimes sickened by what I see parents doing for their kids. I've known people who drive older, worn out cars and Little Susie drives a much newer, cooler car. The parents barely have the money to make the payments and yet Susie wears all the latest and greatest, carries a cellphone (which she talks and texts on constantly), has an ipod on her hip, gets her nails done, tans in the tanning beds, has her hair highlighted. When Susie gets out of school then they set her up in a trendy apt. with all new furniture and decor. She works part time, goes to school part time and has all that her heart desires. I'm wondering.....what are we teaching Susie? Does she realize that SOMEONE has to work for all this?~

Ok I'm off my soapbox now.......