Did you used to be a spender?

**Shell** · 03-16-2006, 10:32 AM

Did you used to be a spender and now put your money towards saving? What was your turning point or made you change?

**babetteq** · 03-16-2006, 10:40 AM

yup!!! I was a giant spender. Never any money by the time my next cheque came around no matter how much I made.

THEN: I left my abusive partner and found a teeeny tiny A-frame house on the side of the highway and had to go on welfare for a time. I was miserable. I was getting my greens out of the woods and had 40$ a month for groceries. (flour, meat etc) I started trading food processing (caning, cooking, freezing) for half the food they wanted done... I started making my own undies out of old tee shirts....bread...etc...

Then I started looking around and thought "why am I whining? I have everything I need.....I just can't buy things I *don't* need. While this was going on, my aunt sent me a book.

The Tightwad Gazette

I never looked back.

Now I don't *need* to be frugal (I could still live from cheque to cheque if I wanted to, but it's become both a habit and a game to find out how inexpensively I can do things. I love figuring out how much a meal costs. etc.

Babs

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-16-2006, 10:41 AM

I use to be a spender that's for sure, that's when I worked over 40hours a week making $35000 a year.

Now I have learned that I can save and mostly because I have to, it never crossed my mind before until we wanted to buy a home.

Now with only hubby working, I budget, save and we live happily off 1 income.

Now realizing that I was tired of not having any savings I made a budget and save whatever I can and pay off the last 4 CC's the best I can, doubling payments, etc.

One point I want to make is no matter how much you make you can do it. You have to want to as well.

**rnmama** · 03-16-2006, 11:11 AM

Hello,
I am a new member. I found this site yesterday when looking for tips for budgeting and frugal living. I would have to say that I am still a spender but am looking for support and resources to help me change my ways! I am a mother of three ages 7, 8 , and 10. I am married. I work as a Registered Nurse three days per week and I do the bookkeeping for my husband's business and I manage the household budget (if you could call it a budget - I make sure the bills get paid). I am an emotional spender. I shop because for some reason it makes me feel good temporarily. I think our financial situation would be much better if I can reduce my spending and get our debts paid down. My husband and I made it our goal to get rid of all but one or two credit cards (we have about 6 or 7) and pay off some loans. We are not concerned about paying down our mortgage until these debts are paid. Any suggestions about how any of you went from being a spender to a saver would be wonderful!!!

**McD** · 03-16-2006, 11:17 AM

I used to be a big spender. I was working for the National Guard bringing home 1,100 dollars every two weeks. I blew all that money on clothes. Then I stopped working for the Guard...and I kept spending. I ran up 8,000 in credit card bills, tried to pay them on a pitiful salary, and finally it hit me when I got my paycheck.

I was paid 600$ for 2 weeks of work and by the time I sat down and paid a little more than minimum on all of my cards, plus my car payment, I was broke. I had no money for gas, no money to get my oil changed, nothing. Luckily, I was able to get a loan from my father and pay them off. Now I owe my dad, but I've paid him almost a thousand dollars already since November of 2005, so I think I'm doing good.

I'm still a spender though. Just not to the extent that i was.

**AmyBoz** · 03-16-2006, 11:27 AM

Sorry to anyone who's heard my story before!

I was totally a spender. I bought whatever I wanted and charged it. I paid minimum payments on my credit cards, and the amounts kept rising. (Not to crazy amounts, but high, nonetheless.) I began my spending ways in college at the college bookstore, but that soon turned into shopping at the mall with my roommate, and then the local pizza place started taking credit cards, even with delivery. It was ALL over then!

When I graduated, I continued to buy, buy, buy. I belonged to book clubs and video clubs and music clubs, and it was ridiculous. Even when I was living on my own, and responsible for rent, I was spending.

Then, my boyfriend (now dh) and I started getting serious, and he told me that he was careful with his money and that he didn't want to inherit my debt. The gist was, I'd love to marry you, but I don't want to marry your debt. So, (through the book club

) I ordered all three of the TWG books and read them cover to cover. At that point, I really didn't have to do anything too drastic to get rid of my debt. I just quit spending and started saving and paying off my bills.

Then, we got engaged and married. We spent together, with nothing really to show for it (except our house, of course). Then we found out I was expecting a few years later, and realizing that I'd be out of work for awhile had us digging out those TWG books, and had me surfing the net for frugal websites. I found the village (which was then called Usave2day.com) and started tightening up everywhere in the budget, and in 9 months, we saved $10,000.

We've never looked back, and even though sometimes we don't need to be frugal, we always are, because we enjoy having control over our money instead of our money controlling us.

**frugalfarmwife** · 03-16-2006, 11:35 AM

For a long time I wasn't a spender but hubby lulled me into it

We had a 25 acre farm, owned it free and clear, both worked and had money in the bank. Hubby likes "things" and that was ok, but then I decided if he got his things I should get mine, next thing you know, more tractors, more horses, new trucks, new trailer, etc. Still ok but then a 60,000 equity loan, then hubby decides we need a bigger farm, ok, I'll go along.

All the sudden I woke up one day and realized I was 39 years old, we had a HUGE (to us) mortgage and were running up the CC's, I was NOT HAPPY. It didn't get better then though. Land behind us went up for sale (worthless flood plain but hubby was sure we had to have it) Caused world war three here, his mom even told him to call the bank to see about an additional loan (she's lucky I DIDN'T SHOOT HER!) Luckily someone else thought it was worth a lot and it went really high at auction.

We then had peace, for a while, then found out the land in front of us was going into bankruptcy, I DID track that down and after MUCH discussion we did purchase it for a fraction of what it is worth, BUT the agreement was that was IT! NOTHING ELSE! NO MORE TOYS, no more new horses, tractors, etc, etc, etc.

Then, his mother blew through a large inheritance and landed back in debt all within 4 years, that REALLY opened hubbies eyes to debt and is the final straw that really got him on board.

Our land is our retirement, BUT I want it paid off! (lol, preferably yesterday!)

Sorry for the book, lol, yes I was a spender

kj

**madhen** · 03-16-2006, 01:20 PM

I didn't start out a spender, then met someone who was into the best of everything, and I got spoiled into thinking I deserved that, as well. We sometimes had to ration bologna to last to the end of the week, but he had a closet full of $200 ties!

I think of myself like an alcoholic - once a spender, always a spender, but currently a spender under control. :-)

What finally got me to take a good hard look at my finances was thinking about how I want to retire, and looking into what I would need to do in order to retire by 50. When I figured out what I had to save every month in order to have a reasonable "income" upon retirement, I realized that I was way behind!!

That is when I took an on-line course in debt reduction and found this village (in Feb of this year). I have been living one day at a time since then, but doing well so far in not spending nearly as much as I used to, and keeping an eye on my purchases. I never used to think twice, because there was always money available, but sometimes that money was in the form of a credit card or taking out cash from my HELOC.

So now I'm focused on paying EVERYTHING off, including the mortgage, and I've given myself ten years to do it.

**ironmaiden** · 03-16-2006, 04:47 PM

I always spent less than I made. So never had any debts other than student loan (paid off early) and car loan (paid off early) and our mortgage - our only current debt.

But the best advice I can offer anyone and what really made me think about money was the book Your Money or Your Life. That money is a FINITE resource and your trade your LIFE ENERGY (i.e. your precious time) for money. You can spend all your time earning just so you can spend and have your money control you and your time or you can decide what is really important to YOUR life and YOUR GOALS and you are in control. It's a choice. It is empowerment NOT deprivation. And that is what is key - it's not a diet (deprivation), it is learning to love fruit (the joy of living).

Having money in the bank is FREEDOM. I tell you once we had enough in the bank such that I had the option of walking in to work and tell them to shove it and have enough money to have the time to look for a new job, it was a freeing experience. I was working at that job by choice, I wasn't a slave. I tell you I enjoyed working that job so much more even though the job itself didn't change.

Borrow the book from your library and then get your significant other to read it too.

**Mojjo** · 03-16-2006, 04:55 PM

I was raised a spender. Couldn't understand any other way of life. Then I had DS and wanted to get into a home. Now DH and I are pretty careful and are well on our way. Great news - I don't really miss anything that I've "given up".

**rnmama** · 03-16-2006, 05:30 PM

Thanks Ironmaiden for the book suggestion. I will definately look for it at the library. I agree with you 100% that being debt free and having money in the bank provides you with freedom and a sense of empowerment. I will remember your words as I start working toward my financial goals!
Thanks again!!

**midwestgal** · 03-16-2006, 06:05 PM

No, I have to say that I have never really been a spender. Even in high school, I managed to sock away $1,700 in 2 years at my supermarket cashier job, making $1.60/hour. (That dates me!) I was brought up in a frugal home, so a lot of stuff was "caught" instead of taught with me. Fortunately, I married my soulmate in every way, finances included. We've been on the same page since day one. It takes me a long time to decide to buy something, and I'm pretty patient. I'm not an impulse buyer. I loved garage sales when I lived in Minneapolis. They were fabulous in that city. I could take just $15 and be gone all morning, shopping!

**tlenad** · 03-16-2006, 06:38 PM

I have always been a spender. My mother was a saver and father was a spender and I took after dear ole Dad. But I am slowly changing my ways.

About six months ago, I was having a discussion with my Father about where I wanted to be in my life. Just mainly him asking, when I was gonna start a family but it really hit me. I want to have a family and in order to do that I needed to get my debt under control.

I took a good hard look at all the money I was spending and decided to start cutting back. First went the cable and mail order clubs then I added up all my debt and nearly had a heart attack. I owe more in debt that I make in a year. Then I started reading all the finance books, I could get my hands on. And of course came across Dave Ramsey, that was the beginning of a real change.

Well that started the pay down cycle and pare down cycle. The more stuff the leaves my crowded apartment the less stuff I want to bring in here.

Now I just have to stick with it. So far it's been pretty easy to pare back except of the eating out thing.

guest7 · 03-16-2006, 06:56 PM

Originally posted by madhen
I didn't start out a spender, then met someone who was into the best of everything, and I got spoiled into thinking I deserved that, as well. We sometimes had to ration bologna to last to the end of the week, but he had a closet full of $200 ties!

I think of myself like an alcoholic - once a spender, always a spender, but currently a spender under control. :-)

What finally got me to take a good hard look at my finances was thinking about how I want to retire, and looking into what I would need to do in order to retire by 50. When I figured out what I had to save every month in order to have a reasonable "income" upon retirement, I realized that I was way behind!!

That is when I took an on-line course in debt reduction and found this village (in Feb of this year). I have been living one day at a time since then, but doing well so far in not spending nearly as much as I used to, and keeping an eye on my purchases. I never used to think twice, because there was always money available, but sometimes that money was in the form of a credit card or taking out cash from my HELOC.

So now I'm focused on paying EVERYTHING off, including the mortgage, and I've given myself ten years to do it.

Madhen typed it all for me. I blame my darling hubby!!

for the new spending habits!

**Michele Annette** · 03-17-2006, 10:19 AM

I used to be a big spender, just like my parents at the time. My mom and I would go shopping anytime I would ask. Then one time I just decided that I didn't want to keep living this way and mom would still push the shopping. I would go with her,but would refuse anything she offered to buy. Then we would get home and she would brag to my dad about how I didn't want anything. It was nothing for me to find $90 of loose bills in my purse if a friend and I wanted to go shopping, but I save that? Uh, no. I could have so much money saved by now that it wouldn't even be funny. But it took be a long time to break those bad, bad habits. Mom didn't understand and I was sick of trying to explain myself to her about it. I just want a simple life, debt free. I really learned to start saving by my DH. He never had anything handed to him and had to work for everything. Not that he didn't make mistakes from time to time...we have some debt to prove that, but he was much less spendy than I. I cringe everytime I think about it now.