Weird new money issues....

**hollyhill** · 06-04-2006, 10:38 PM

I am feeling OVERWHELMED!!!!!

For two years our financial situation was awful but simple. We had no money to spend so we didn't spend anything...end of story....

But now with the arival of our first large paycheck (and with more to follow)...we have so many needs (we have neglected EVERYTHING)...that I don't know where to begin..... When ever I start to list and prioritize my head begins to spin....we need SO MUCH.....

our computor is on the blink (it is an old freebie)
we would like to finally go onto high speed
we need at least one newer vehical
I want a dishwahser (ours has been broken for two years)
everyhthing needs painting
our fridge's seals are shot
our gas fireplace needs fixing
our youngest Dd needs orthodontia
we need a new lawn mower
our rideon needs it's starter mower fixed
I need a new vac (mine doesn't suck up anything any more)....

And i am sure there is other things.....

On top of it all I have this HUGE urge to EAT OUT!!!!!! I haven't been able to for SO LONG!!!!! I WANT to buy a DQ cake for Ds Bd party rather than bake one!!!!! But I really need to save money for putting twords the above items!

Shucks, I don't know where to begin or what to do....

On top of that we have to get all the student loan info. together and organized and I need to get THAT paid off.....Oh me Oh my....

What to do first???????

**Early Bird** · 06-04-2006, 11:26 PM

I'd look at things that will cost you time, money, or success if not done.

So, I think orthodontia is very important. Can lead to more problems if not done.

Fridge seals cost you $$ by leaking cold air.

etc.

**treeluva** · 06-05-2006, 01:37 AM

It is hard getting that first large paycheck, knowing more are on the way, after doing without for a while. You have the urge to just spend it all! I know, because I DID IT!
My advice would be to write everything down. List it as a want vs a need. See what the opportunity cost would be for every dollar you spend. For instance, the opportunity cost for you eating out, would be not getting the fridge seals replaced, buying the cake instead of baking on takes money away from the vaccum cleaner, etc. That is what I have started doing, and I list part of my goals on here, to keep me honest and focused. I also budget in "fun" money, which is budgeted to do things with my children that costs money, such as trips to the zoo, bowling, movies, etc. But it is not a large amount for the three of us, which allows us to enjoy some of those pay for things, but still requires us to use our imaginations and do fun "free" things as well.

Looking at your list, I see that you need a new lawn mower. That is important, but you can find used lawn mowers, that work just fine, with a little tuneup or a new part at a yard sale or in the paper for a lot less than buying a brand new one. Same with the vaccum cleaner, or you could start checking around on the prices, wait a couple weeks, and then buy the vaccum that suits your needs the best at the cheapest price. The dishwasher is defintely a want, although I feel your pain. I lived in my last house for 7 years without a dishwasher, and it was a pain, but it is a purchase that can be put off and saved for. Again, search for one that meets your needs, and then check for the best price. What is wrong with the fireplace? Whenever I hear fireplace, my brain starts thinking about health issues, and that would be a priority if it is leaking or causing any type of carbon buildup, but if it is not doing that, and just isnt working, that can be put off and saved for as well. Why do you need a newer vehicle? That should be saved for, regardless of whether it is a need or a want. The orthodontia is very important, and needs to be high on the list.

You can straighten it all out in your head. Just take a deep breath, and analyze your choices. Determine whether they are needs or wants for your family, and use your money in the best way possible for your family.

Good luck!

**sarathom** · 06-05-2006, 08:10 AM

First off, I am so very happy for you and your family. I have been following your story on this site for awhile and have been very inspired by your success at keeping it together with very little money. Congratulations on your dh's job! As someone who used to live in BC for a long time, I know how high prices can be for things and you have done so well! So, hats off to you!

Now, as far as being overwhelmed, I agree with the first two people...prioritize a want and a need. Yes, you can still put off a new vaccuum, lawnmower and dishwasher but some of the other things look like priorities!

And.....I think you should go out and buy that DQ cake....it is a small expense but you really deserve a little reward. If you give yourself little rewards along the way, you can still save for those wants and purchase those needs.

Again, best of luck and continue your story of success. You really are a great inspiration!

**ironmaiden** · 06-05-2006, 08:52 AM

Go out to dinner to celebrate! (not as creating a new habit

You need to keep to your old frugal ways and budget in all the other stuff.
It's lawn mowing season now. But you probably don't need the gas fireplace for a few months. Do you use it for heat or for ambiance? It helps in setting priorities.

You can buy paint for one room at a time - and thus it shouldn't be a budget breaker. I'd actually make this the first expenditure (after dinner out) as there's lots of visual bang for the buck.

Fridge seals aren't very expensive I think and hopefully it is something you can do yourself.

So along with the priorities, you need to list the cost of these items.
Maybe you figure out the next 6 months and where these extras fit in.

How badly do you need a newer vehicle? Could you save some each month, so that even if you do take out a loan in the end, that you at least have a good dent in the purchase price?

IF your vac isn't working, what are you doing instead? Same question for the lawnmower.

For the wants (vs. the needs) i.e. dishwasher, or a lawnmower that's not the greatest, try saving up for these items.

Evaluate at least temporarily needing a riding mower AND a pushmower.

Orthodontia is usually paid for on payment plans. I remember my mother paying monthly. So that can be budgeted in as opposed to saving up all at once. And it's better to do the orthodontia sooner than later - before your kid balks at the idea of doing it at all.

But the most important thing is to keep your frugal mindset and not get lulled into frittering away the extra money.

**Lorelei** · 06-05-2006, 08:52 AM

I agree with Sarathom that a little treat, like the cake, might be a good reward. Or you might take the family out for breakfast, lunch or dessert (all cheaper than dinner) to satisfy that eating out urge. As for the prioritizing, the advice about deciding if each item is a want or a need is great.

After you've decided which items are needs, a nice way to help prioritize if you're still having trouble is to make a chart on graph paper. This brings each decision down to two choices, which can be easier than trying to prioritize a whole list at once. Write all your needs across the top and down the left-hand side of the paper. Each block in your table now refers to two items. You look at these two items and decide - orthodontia or fireplace? Put an x in the box if the item for the column is the greater need, skip if the item in the row is greater. Go through the whole table this way, and at the end add up the column totals. It sounds like a lot of work, but if you really are having trouble prioritizing it can help.

Congratulations on getting to a point where you have choices. You will eventually get to all the things on your list, and it's wonderful that you and your DH have come so far.

**staceyy** · 06-05-2006, 09:24 AM

I'd buy the cake and eat out at a low cost restaurant occasionally (try to use coupons to help lower the costs). I would buy many of the items you need used or get them through Freecycle. Paint is inexpensive and will make everything look new. Good luck! Just don't go overboard or start charging as later you'll be sorry.

**canadian gardener** · 06-05-2006, 11:50 AM

It's deferred spending and it's overwhelming.

Prioritize and keep breathing deeply.

**pecunierrant** · 06-05-2006, 01:25 PM

Congrats on the better money situation

I agree about prioritizing, needs vs wants. Not everything has to be done right away. Make a list and give yourself 6 to 12 months to accomplish the items. This way you're not too overwhelmed and you dont go over budget and end up in the minus catagory- this can happen so easily.

Maybe start with must haves- (not sure what applies)
health & dental issues
safety issues (in the home & car)
outstanding debts
emergency fund
etc.

Things like home improvement can be done as time & cash allows. That way you dont burn out on it.

No reason not to go out to dinner to celebrate!

One thing I liked was just letting the money sit too, it just felt good to have it there. I felt very in control.

Good luck and as Margery suggested, deep breaths

**ewokgirl** · 06-05-2006, 01:41 PM

(((Hollyhill))) That's rough.

First, I agree with those who said to take the family out to eat or buy that DQ cake. In the grand scheme of things, those are minor costs, and it sounds like it would really cheer your heart to do one of these. Look at it as a treat for the whole family.

Then, prioritize that list. Some of those things are true needs; some are merely wants. Go with the needs first. Go for the least expensive fix first. (I'm thinking that would be the fridge gaskets.) Once that's knocked off your list, you'll feel good, encouraged, and ready to take on the rest of the list.

Don't forget to mention some of those needs/wants to friends or family. You never know when someone is putting in a new dishwasher, even though the old one works just fine. They may be more than happy to pass on the old one to you, rather than paying to have it hauled off. Also, check places like freecycle.

**hollyhill** · 06-06-2006, 01:28 AM

Thank-you for all your great advise!

And you are right....I need to slow down.....and breathe.

The list has become even longer....I didn't add Dh's list....
Special static resistant shoes (static is dynomite to electric chips/circuits), work clothes (how does a technologist/engineer dress?), some specialized tools...

We need a new car because we are down to one 1983 honda....that needs work....
We are looking for a fuel efficient car that seets 5 and a cello. I would like it to be 1-3 years old.
We have been borrowing a lawn mower from a nice neighbour....but who expects us to purchase our own now that Dh is working LOL...
As far as the vac goes I've been using it hoping it was doing SOMETHING! Also I've been sweeping with a broom.
The fridge seals are not replaceable we've already checked out that option.
The fireplace won't start...but we want to fix it because it is a very energy efficient fireplace and is good at cutting down heating costs.

The dishwasher will definately have to wait.
Dd orthodontia is due to start this summer.

I resisted eating out....I took the $40 it would cost and spent it on ready made "fancy" foods..... and have enough yummies to last several days....

I bought fancy smoked salmon, shrimp (2 for ones), froz. lasagna, layered dip, taco chips, avocados, salsa, watermelon, cantelope, honeydew melon mmmmmm....

**Early Bird** · 06-06-2006, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by hollyhill

I resisted eating out....I took the $40 it would cost and spent it on ready made "fancy" foods..... and have enough yummies to last several days....

I bought fancy smoked salmon, shrimp (2 for ones), froz. lasagna, layered dip, taco chips, avocados, salsa, watermelon, cantelope, honeydew melon mmmmmm....

That is a brilliant idea!

**Lorelei** · 06-06-2006, 08:18 AM

Hollyhill - sounds like you're getting it together. You'll do fine. I also think you had a great idea by buying fancy food at the grocery.

**i.m.cheap** · 06-06-2006, 08:51 AM

I ALWAYS regret money spent dining out. It sometimes sounds like a good idea, but after the meal is over and the bill is paid, it is never worth the cost, to me. We last dined out on our anniversary in November, and I still wish we had not. Homemade cakes are yummy! Everyone in our family much prefers these to store bought ones. Buy a half gallon of a "premium" ice cream to go with it.

I would like a dishwasher, too. But I will keep washing them by hand, because that is low on our list of priorities. Good luck to you! I am glad your DH is working at a well paying job.

My DH has his certificate in Digital Media now, and refuses to apply for any jobs in that field. I am at my wits end. He is still working as a fry cook for poverty level wages. He finished at the top of his class, but insists that "no one will hire him". I don't know how to motivate him.

**Lorelei** · 06-07-2006, 12:00 PM

i.m.cheap - don't know if it will motivate him, but "What Color is Your Parachute" is a great job-hunting manual. Gives a lot of ideas of how to determine your best job, how to find the person who can hire, etc. If dh won't read it, maybe it will help you figure out what is holding him back from even trying.