What to do when there is just not enough money??

**handmerounds** · 06-20-2006, 07:50 PM

I need some advice. What do you do when there is just not enough money? We have sold 2 vehicles, and I am doing everything I can and still there's not enough money to pay the monthly bills, let alone food, clothing etc. From the bad financial decisions we have made in the past we have, in addition to our mortgage payment of $1050, a second mortgage of $350 at 14% interest. We have no equity in our home. So if we sell we lose money. In the past I have used student loan money to pay bills, and credit cards. I feel like I know how to be frugal "now", but I can't seem to find a way to get us caught up. I sometimes feel like foreclosure would give us a chance to start over. I know we might have a balance after the sale but I am feeling like we might not have any other choice. Husband and I just had an argument over our finances, because he went and had his air conditioner in his truck charged that cost $65. That wasn't in our budget and it upset me because we are behind on bills anyway. He commutes 1 1/2 hours each way to work, so I know he needs ac. I just am upset and tired of being so burdened. Any suggestions?

**Daisygirl** · 06-20-2006, 08:04 PM

I wish I had some answers for you -- I have posted a few things on here that sound very similar to what you are going through. It is a horrible, nerve-wracking place to be.

My first suggestion is that you and hubby MUST get on the same page financially -- whatever that page might be, it has to be the same one. You have to work out a plan and you both have to agree to it.

Secondly, sit down and go over absolutely everything financially. Would you be able to sell and move into a much less expensive place, or would the costs be pretty much the same once you added your debt from not breaking even on the house? If you find you will be in the same position, what can you do to keep your house? Is it a matter of spending less or making more?

This is such an ugly place to be, hon, and I would not wish it on anyone, but perhaps there is a valuable lesson to be learned through it all. I know you will come out a stronger and wiser person. I just pray for answers and it seems that the answers appear. The path might be steep, but it IS manageable.

Best of luck.

**banana** · 06-20-2006, 08:12 PM

I would write down all your monthly bills, every single one and add them up. Then I would look at what your take home pay is monthly. Are there items that are not necessities that you can either cut back on or eliminate all together?

Do you get a rather large income tax refund at the end of the year? If so up your deductions so you get more money in your paychecks now rather than in one lump sum at the end of the year. We did that a couple of years ago and it really helped with our budget.

What are the rents like where you live? In some areas rent could be equal to if not more than your mortgage and dont forget you get to write off your mortgage interest and property taxes so when all is said and done I would also see what it is actually costing you to live in your house monthly, you might be surprised to find it much lower than the $1400 you are actually paying each month.

Do you work? If not could you possibly get a part time job to help pay some of the bills? I did this and it is helping tremendously.

I feel for you. I know it is hard.

Best of luck!

**handmerounds** · 06-20-2006, 08:49 PM

I will start work in August. I sell on ebay and anywhere else I can to make extra money. I have two little ones and no family to help babysit, so I can't make much extra working. But in August my daughter starts pre-K so I am going to work then. I just finished college, I am trying to find a teaching job, but if I don't I have a job as a teacher's aide lined up. Hopefully a permanent teaching job will be offered to me.

**handmerounds** · 06-20-2006, 08:51 PM

We are trying to sell our house. We have a guy wanting to buy it, but he has not yet.

**nodmicks** · 06-20-2006, 08:53 PM

I'm sorry your going through this! Hugs! I remember how very hard it is! I think Banana had some very good ideas.
One thing that really helped us a few years ago was actually posting our budget and income numbers on the total money makeover board (would have done it here but I hadn't found you lovely folks yet!!).
Part of having my budget picked apart by about 50 people was a bit hard but wow did it give me insite and the folks gave me great ideas to squeeze more money out of it. I found it very helpful and inspiring.
I wish I had something better and comforting to say. Hugs!

**willow** · 06-20-2006, 10:20 PM

First of all

. I honestly know where your coming from, dd's child support ends next month, this is $400 out of a budget that already can't pay for everything. But, I know that there are still ways of cutting back that I just haven't convinced myself to do yet.

As far as the air conditioning for dh's vehicle. None of our vehicles have working air conditioning. I know its a long commute, but a generation ago most people drove without this luxury all time.

I think talking to your dh is key here. He needs to understand just how serious this situation is and how worried you are. Working together as a team will help take so much of the pressure off of you. On your mortgage, 14% is very high is there any way to refi this loan?

Read Amy D. There are so many good suggestions there especially if you have children. You can check out her books at the library. Some of her ideas are unconventional and a bit radical for some, but if your seriously trying to get out of debt they may be worth a try.

We don't own a TV, but if you do, can you cut out the satellite/cable? Friends I have pay upwards of $80 a month to watch TV. Maybe you could get by with just an attenna.

Cell phone service? If you have these can you get by without? Ours is a family share plan and costs $60 a month I haven't gotten rid of it because dd and I live out in a rural area (35 miles between the city and our town) and drive alone, it's a safety issue for me. If I lived in town I would feel comfortable dropping this.

Looking for a cheaper home and writing down all your expenses have already been suggested, these are great ideas.

I know it seems hopeless but there are many little things you can do that add up to big savings, it's just hard to keep motivated when it seems like all your energy is spent trying to save money.

I liked the idea of posting your budget. I know you'll get some great savings advice.

Good luck and keep us updated on how your doing.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 06-20-2006, 10:44 PM

i will keep you in my prayers.........i know its soooooo nerve wrecking!!! hang in there!!!

**handmerounds** · 06-20-2006, 11:11 PM

I have tried talking to him. He is not a big spender, but I think he feels like he works hard and he ought to be able to have air conditioning in return. He is a very hard worker and I don't like telling him he doesn't need to have the air fixed. I don't know it is very overwhelming. Maybe tomorrow I will have a different outlook. I have wrote down all our bills and income. We have tried the antenna, but we live so far out we don't pick up any channels. I have the lowest priced package on our satellite. I have no extra's on our phone service. I raised the deductibles on our car insurance. We do have cell phones, since my husband works so far away, they are really helpful, but could probably do without. The second mortgage at 14%, we have thought about refinancing, but since we are trying to sell, we haven't done this because of the fee's. But I may check into it still! Thanks for the advice and thoughts, I will try to stay positive. We have made a lot of progress in the past year, just not out of the woods yet. My income starting in August will help a lot and hopefully our house will sale.

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-20-2006, 11:31 PM

I'm sorry you're in such an overwhelming place right now, hugs to you. Hopefully things will look a little brighter in the morning.

I also know how it can be the little things that really break the camels back, getting the AC fixed without at least discussing it was not a good move on hubbies part but thats a MAN thing, you're not alone there.

Is there any chance you could do some babysitting over the summer to help out a bit? Since you already have your two at home this would give them playmates and help a bit with the income.

kj

**willow** · 06-20-2006, 11:44 PM

handmerounds - I hope I didn't sound harsh with my suggestions. You just sounded like you were at wits end. I have areas I could cut back on myself but haven't yet done. I know the feeling of "I work hard and I deserve ....." I struggle with this myself.

I know you are feeling overwhelmed but it sounds like you are doing everything you can, so please have faith and as my dad always says to me "take a little time to care for yourself". I hope you and your dh are able to get through this hard time soon. It sounds like your new job in August will be a big help.

**Buckeye5** · 06-21-2006, 01:18 AM

I agree with the other post, I think it was bananna, that said about the taxes. We recently did this at my house and we have $100 more take home per month and that was changing our federal only, not state. I am waiting till the end of the year to see if I should also, change the state taxes. I own Amy D. books and she does have nice ideas. Stay strong and it will be okay.

**Daisygirl** · 06-21-2006, 05:29 AM

Another thought for you: It can be hard to find childcare in the summer, so would you consider providing reasonably priced childcare for some families in your area? I did this before and I made great money. I charged a bit less than everyone else in the area so I was always full. With your teaching degree I am sure people would love to have you care for their kids. Just be certain that all your cooking is frugal for the kids, or you will spend more than you are making. People with school age kids are always looking for someone to watch them in the summer.

The added benefit to being a childcare provider is that there are no childcare costs for you!

**AmyBoz** · 06-21-2006, 06:36 AM

In the short-term, could you cash in your change jar and use your $283 to pay some bills right now?

**handmerounds** · 06-21-2006, 10:09 AM

Willow-I didn't think your suggestions sounded harsh at all! Sorry if my reply indicated that! LOL

Amy Boz- I haven't counted my change jar lately (oops), I need to update the amount, but I will do that and pay what I can with it.

I think I might run an ad to babysit, there aren't too many families in our rural area with kids, but I will give it a try. Good idea!! I have trouble finding a babysitter! We did change hubby's withholding's last year, but I may have him do it again. Seems like they are still holding out a lot each week. He did just get a $1.00 raise at work, so that will help too. I have a few things listed on ebay too, I try to go to yard sales occasionly and pick up things to sell. Brand name clothes do very well, but I've not been going too much this year with gas prices. Thanks for all the suggestions!!