My dilemma and need suggestions

**rebecca** · 06-23-2006, 05:28 AM

Starting in Oct. my oldest daughter's child support will no longer be coming in due to her turning 18. That will be $325 less I will be getting a month. I only make around $18,000 a year. I do have two part time housekeeping jobs that I do. That adds up to about $80 a month. Helps me not to dip in my savings in between checks. I work as much overtime as I can at work. I automatically have work take out $100 every two weeks out of my check and put it in a credit union that I very seldom go to. $50 out every two weeks for my 401 (k). Don't want to stop my 401 k due to starting late in life with retirement fund. This is what my monthly budget looks like.

Mortgage: $526.96 (12 more years)
Car Loan: $265
Phone: $36
Cable: $50
Car Ins: $85.13
Electric: $65 roughly
Gas: $83 Luckily I have a $159 to my credit so for last month and this month
I haven't had to pay anything for gas.
AOL: $14.99
Alarm Security System: $19.99 This will be taken out this Sept.
Life Ins: $28.31
Gas for car: Around $90
Groceries: Around $150

I very seldom go out to eat, cook by scratch, take lunch to work, consolidate runs, have had the circuit breaker off for the heat and air conditioning off since the middle of April (to save on gas and electric bill).
After I take out the $100 that is automatically taken out of my check and the $50 for my 401 (k) I bring home around $630. Also, I will still be getting $300 a month for child for my youngest daughter for the next four years. Just wondering if anyone out their has any suggesiton. Right now I am up to Sept on my car payment and one month on my house payment. I try not to buy anything I do not need. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Oh yea, when I received my taxes I paid off my dental bill and the rest I put up for when I don't receive any more child support. I can dig into this fund to pay for my house payment until I get my next tax refund in April.

**Darlene** · 06-23-2006, 06:41 AM

Will your dd be living at home? Will she be going to school? If she's going to school does he have to pay something towards that? I don't know how child support works but it seems if she's still in school he should be still paying something. If she's not in school & she still wants to live at home she should be working & contributing to the household.
Any chance of you finding a job that paid more?
Good luck with this.

**rebecca** · 06-23-2006, 07:04 AM

The one good thing I have going for me is that if the girls need something extra that is a need their dad does help them out. The other good thing about my job is that the insurance we have I don't have to pay anything but $6.78 a month. When I go to the doctor's, go to the hospital, any lab works, etc., is that we don't have a dime as long as we use their doctors. The doctor I was seeing was on their plan. This is one of the reasons I will not go work someplace else. Other people who I know that do the same kind of work I do, nurse aide, and work at other nursing homes or hospice homes have to pay an arm and a leg for their insurance. Also, if you want to get any medical supplies or equipment we get a 20% discount.

**Early Bird** · 06-23-2006, 07:54 AM

It looks pretty bare-bones...except ... could you cut the cable?

**Hollyhandi** · 06-23-2006, 08:02 AM

Rebecca I know where your comming from. I lose my DS'a support in feb next year.$120.00 a month less.
His dad helps nothing at all with extras.
DS will be working and paying for most of his own expenses

**pip** · 06-23-2006, 09:59 AM

I was going to suggest cutting the cable, too.

**treeluva** · 06-23-2006, 10:45 AM

I do not mean to sound harsh, but you knew since they day you divorced, the day she turned 18, the support would stop for her. He is not longer obligated to pay you money to take care of her, and being as such, as much as it sucks, she needs to start contributing to the household to take care of herself if she stays at home.

I know I sound harsh, and I truly do apologize. I have two daughters under the age of 7, and although their father is ordered by the courts to pay child support, he does not. He owes over 40 grand in child support. There was a short time when he did pay, after the divorce, and he paid for about 9 months. When he stopped paying, it was a big shock to the way we live, my budget, everything. I had to do major adjusting.

I know you can do it. I know it is hard. I know I sound harsh, and I am really sorry about that, I just do not know how to say it without sounding mean.

Cutting the cable frees up some money, but not a whole lot. What about the security system? Is that something that you need? Any way you can lower the grocery bill any more?

**Lorelei** · 06-23-2006, 01:41 PM

You can look into changing your withholding at work to get more money in each paycheck rather than waiting for a tax refund.

**pecunierrant** · 06-23-2006, 05:27 PM

The bill that stands out is the car payment, I'd look at selling it and buying an older used one with cash.

Good luck, you seem to have a good frugal mindset which helps a lot.

**Valerie in WA** · 06-23-2006, 07:21 PM

Question: you have $50 per check put into 401K and another $100 per check that goes to the credit union. What is that money for? An EF?

**Cele** · 06-23-2006, 07:30 PM

First, I commend you for committing to an EF and your 401K. It sounds like you are realistic about your financial future. It's also great that you are on good terms with your ex and that he will help.

Short term, I'd eliminate the cable and security (looks like you're doing away with that one). Is your car worth more than you owe? If so, and if it's serving you well, I would stay the course.

Short and long term, I'd tell your eldest daughter that she needs to contribute financially to the household. She probably already knows that, but I'd sit down and have the conversation so she is clear on your expectations.

20 hours a week at a $6/hour job would replace her child support, even with taxes factored in. Is she going to college? If yes, that's what I would require of her financially. If she's not going on to school, it's time for a full-time job and for her to pay room and board.

Long term, you could invest in *your* future by going back to school. With your income being fairly low and still having a minor child, chances are there are many free/reduced fee courses and classes available to you. I understand you're not looking to change jobs now, but education is an investment in yourself, and it sets a great example to your children too.

Good luck, and please let us know how it's going.

**rebecca** · 06-23-2006, 07:47 PM

Valerie in Washington the money put into the credit union is for an EF.

Lorelei I did take out five withholdings but my sister in law who does my taxes told me to take one whitholdings from the MI due to being very close to paying to the state.

Treeluva I knew that when my daughter turned 18 that she would no longer get child support. I guess the last year it has really hit me. I know I will be on a tighter budget. I did not say that I felt that their dad should still be obligated to pay anything once the my daughter turned 18. I was very lucky that he signed the child support papers without having a fit about it. Also, that he is more than willing to help when the girls need extra. I will never complain about what he has done for the girls. He has went above and beyond. I know that I am very lucky in this aspect. My daughter is working and she is responsible for buying her own clothes or anything else she wants. I am getting rid of the alarm system in Sept. My contrat ends in Sept. I am looking at cutting my grocery bill. No, you did not sound harsh. I did not feel offended in any way. I asked fop others opinions and I will take them all seriously.

Monday I am going to call the cable company and have them put cable down to basic.

**rebecca** · 06-23-2006, 07:52 PM

I have picked up two more part time housekeeping jobs. This will help with the child support I know longer will getting. Tonight I am going to sit down and go over my budget with a fine tooth comb again and see where else I can cut. Also, will go on this site and find low cost nutritional foods that I can cook.

**willow** · 06-23-2006, 09:02 PM

Rebecca - I know how you are feeling. I bring home $1500 a month and my dd's last child support check will be next month in July. We also have known it would stop at some point, but we have used this money every month to cover expenses.

Your budget sounds very bare bones. Maybe cutting the cable, but that still doesn't free up very much. I have been looking for small bookkeeping jobs I can do in the evening to earn extra. Since you still have a small child maybe this would be an option so you don't have to leave the house in the evenings and pay for a sitter.

My ds has already paid for his own college mostly through scholarships. Several of these were needs based, your dd might look into this. You didn't say whether see has graduated high school or still has a year left. If she is still in school her guidance counselor should have a list of scholarships and applications available. Dd checked every week during the school year and applied for everything she could.

You really sound like your doing everything you can and keeping positive attitude along with it. Good luck.

**Daisygirl** · 06-24-2006, 09:11 AM

I have been there too, and my kids still live with me and are small. My child support end was nothing I could plan on - he just abruptly stopped paying. It was terrifying at first and a scramble to make ends meet, but for me it was very empowering to raise my kids completely on my own. It is hard but you can do it, and you will feel much more independant when all is said and done.

Have faith -- these things usually work out for the best!