I finally made a decison to work or not

**Buckeye5** · 06-29-2006, 04:41 PM

As most of you know from past threads, I have been torn about continuing to work. I get up at the crack of dawn (4 am) to work at a grocery store up the road. I have been tired and miss being at home with my family. I have felt guilty about leaving them, especially the youngest, he's 13. I work holidays etc, no extra pay. Anyway, I picked up an exta day to help with medical bills from DD's back surgery ( a basketball injury this past Dec) I am almost there to paying them off. I was supposed to be paid 50 cents more for opening and closing the store, I didn't receive it and asked about it again, it has now been over a month and no pay increase, I only make $5.75 an hour. I talked to DH and looked at our finances again, we feel it is doable. I won't put in my notice for another month, unless DH works overtime, then it could be earlier to finish paying off the last of the medical bills. Things are going to be tight, but I know it can be done. I have been studying these threads and participating and have learned so...much about the right financial decisions and being frugal. My kids are thrilled to have me back soon. Sorry this is so..long, I just needed to write it. Does anyone else feel torn about working at dead end jobs, and leaving their kids? I am tired, and want to slow down and enjoy life more.

**dwallyfam** · 06-29-2006, 07:01 PM

Here is hoping everything goes well.

Kellie

**banana** · 06-29-2006, 08:35 PM

Good Luck, I hope everything works out for you!

**Valerie in WA** · 06-29-2006, 08:58 PM

I think it's always a difficult decision. My job is not considered dead-end, and I still feel torn. I think most moms do. It's one way your love for your children is expressed: being there for them.

Congratulations, and may you have peace about your decision.

**kabin63** · 06-29-2006, 10:18 PM

I quit my job 2 1/2 years ago. It was part time and somewhat helpful, but not enough to make it easier than if I wasn't working. I have a 12 year old at home and if I were working it would all go to whoever was staying with her. Truthfully, I think they need us even more in their teen years. I am so happy and at peace with my decision to stay home, but sometimes it is a struggle, but, a worthwhile struggle.
Blessings and peace

**pammy** · 06-30-2006, 05:49 AM

Yes, I do. I quit my job almost 9 months ago. Felt all kinds of emotions, guilt was one. I was one of those that truly didn't earn anything after factoring in all the costs with my work. Even though I got paid a good wage, the earnings were ate up with the costs, even in my high paying field. Was also out of town a total of 4 days a week and having to spend the night away from home two of those nights a week. Dh works lots of hours and teen daughter was left to her own too much. Add to this I was miserable where I worked (worked holidays, left to work alone too often, did the boss's job, personally disliked boss, etc.). I truly empathize, I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of, and it sure sounds like you are.

This was where I was at when I finally 'woke up' and realized we blew too much money on stupid stuff, wanted to get out of debt, wanted to spend more wisely. On paper it looked as if we couldn't make it on dh's income alone per month. Took a leap of faith and quit. Decided I would become a home economist and do whatever I could to stretch a dollar.

Fast forward 9 months. I've found so many things to cut down on that we are doing well. All this time I now have is spent implementing new ways to reduce, reuse, recycle like I didn't before. Once I started using all the tips and ideas that I read from here, books and from other people it was kinda like we got a raise. Not only were we doing okay, but was finding we had money left over to start paying down debt. I'm still working on that and it's just building more and more steam.

Dh is estatic to have me around more, for so many reasons. I no longer bring all the stress and misery that came from working home with me. And I think it kind of gives him a boost to know that he is a good provider. His job is to bring home the money, my job is to stretch it to it's limits.

Dd is the amazing part. At first she was upset and confused at my quitting. Couldn't understand at first that I was going to be home and not work anywhere else. Now it's like she can't get enough of me. She's 17 and I don't feel like I've got much time left with her before she starts out in the world on her own. Just the other day I offhandedly asked if she wanted me to get a job (can't even remember how the subject came up) and her immediate definite reply was "NO!!" and threw her arms around me. I'm so enjoying showing her things in my unrushed unstressed way. So much more patience now.

I struggled with the guilt quite a bit in the beginning. Still do occasionally. But now truly believe my family wouldn't want it any other way. I now see that it was best for our family and glad I jumped. You've got to decide what's best for your family and then find ways to make it better. Best of luck!!

**Daisygirl** · 06-30-2006, 06:10 AM

Congratulations on your decision! I hope it all turns out well!

**ewokgirl** · 06-30-2006, 10:52 AM

I quit working 7 years ago to become a SAHW. I was an English teacher, so my job wasn't dead end, but it was stressful and time consuming. Too much had to be taken home on nights and weekends. The grading and planning and such was non-stop, and I felt like I never had a real moment to myself because there was always something I needed to be doing for my classes.

I don't have kids, so the situation is a bit different. My guilt came from quitting and having so many people make snide remarks about not working. My parents were unhappy because they felt like I was throwing away my education. Never mind that they thought it was great that my sister didn't work. The only difference was that she was a mom and I wasn't. Other working women made some really nasty comments to me at times. Many people really don't *get* why a woman would want to stay home in this day and age.

Yes, it's been harder financially since we are no longer a dual-income couple. However, the benefits outweigh that. It's wonderful not feeling stressed, having time to cook and take care of our home, DH never has to miss work to take the car into the shop or deal with other stuff like that. We're not able to just up and buy whatever we want like we used to, but we really don't need stuff to make us happy.

Best of luck to you in your decision to stay home! I'm sure you won't regret it. The budget might feel tight for a while, but you'll find ways to work with it just fine. A little time and creativity is all it takes. The benefits are legion.

**i.m.cheap** · 06-30-2006, 12:16 PM

Yes! I understand where you are coming from! I work a dead-end job too. Thankfully, it is only 12-20 hours a week, and pays $8.00 an hour. But I am away from home so many evenings, I work 5-9pm, DH works days. We don't get to have dinner together as a family very often. DH takes college classes on the nights I don't work. I wish I could quit, but I just can't right now. My job is the only way we have money for food and gas. It takes half of DH's pay for the rent, and the rest for utilities, car insurance, etc. It is my dream to be at home full time. I am thankful that I only have to work part time, though.

**Katybird** · 06-30-2006, 01:12 PM

I am happy for you that you will be able to stay home and not have the stress of working for so little.

**frugalfarmwife** · 06-30-2006, 01:13 PM

I'm so glad you found a way to make this work for you! I know the kids will LOVE having you there! And hey, hubby might even remember who you are now

Enjoy the time!
kj

**peanut** · 06-30-2006, 03:29 PM

ewokgirl:

My girls are 19 and 21 and people still ask me 'why aren't you working?' I'm finding it's the older women who are hardest on me, for a surprise. But maybe that's because that's who I hang around with...because that's all that are home!

Dh and I decided that I would not be forced back into the workforce. He likes having me home. He understands some of the health issues I'm having would make it difficult for me to function in the workplace.

Instead I use my time at home to be frugal and do things that would normally take his time. I do the research in various areas and then present him with options or a proposal. We discuss it and make a decision. Saves him tons of time. Works well. The time and money saved in implementing good home management alone makes the decision worth it!

Jean

**hillbillyartist** · 06-30-2006, 05:27 PM

COngratulation in your decision, we had to make that choice last year as well, I left teaching to stay at home with our 2 year old. It is difficult, but oh so worth it. Enjoy!

**Buckeye5** · 07-03-2006, 01:14 AM

Thanks to all of you that has responded, I feel more encouraged that I can do this and make it work. Pammyboat, especially you made me encouraged by your comments. They way I figure it, if for some reason it wouldn't work out, there are plenty of jobs out there that pay that little bit of a wage. Sad but true. Let's hope that doesn't have to happen to me.

**pammy** · 07-03-2006, 10:44 AM

Glad I could help in any way. I truly feel for you, had the same thoughts buzzing in my head back then. It is hard sometimes, but so worth it. Will say a prayer for you that the right decision for your family comes with many blessings. (((hugs)))