I know I HAVE a DH.....just NEVER see him!

[FarmerSue]

Anyone else have a husband they don't see that much? I'm so greatful that my DH works so hard for our family but this is getting crazy! He leaves the farm before 5am and starts his run (checks between 5-9 oil rigs a day) and gets back in the evening, does some farm work and a bunch of computer stuff for work and then heads to bed before the rest of us! For the last 12 years he worked shift work and I thought nothing was worse than graveyards. We try to stay focused on our goals and stay positive but some days are worse than others. All the things he has missed out on or forgotten entirely......that's my problem, sometimes I get grouchy and start making a list! Anyone else have a DH with crazy hours? How do you keep a positive attitude? Do your kids seem to suffer at all? Mine seem alright but I've noticed they don't seem to run to the door when he gets home as much. Unlike me, somedays my nose is up against the window trying to watch for him coming down the lane!

[PrairieRose]

My dh (Gripey...his choice of names not mine) used to work like that too. He missed out on a lot of the kids' lives when they were younger. Once, when our youngest was about 4 she was eating breakfast during corn harvest (= dh getting up before the kids were up and leaving for work, getting home after they were asleep for about 4 weeks running) and said "does our daddy still live here?". Made me cry and dh about cried when I told him. Not long after that he started making some changes. He regrets all that he missed out on, but honestly I don't think my kids suffered too much b/c of it. They don't know him as well as they should as a result but they didn't "suffer" if you kwim. Our kids are grown and on their own now, all highly productive adults that do very well in their own right.

[Darlene]

Wow, that really must be tough. It really seems like too much, does he get some days off? Any way he could cut back a little? Family time is so important. Big hug.
I consider myself a lucky gal because my dh puts in his 8 hours & comes home & doesn't want overtime like alot of the guys. We do without many things so we can all have more family time. I know that's not an option for everyone and hope you can find a way.

[staceyy]

My dh is a long distance truck driver and I used to travel constantly with my job also. We were like ships passing in the night,sometimes he would pass through the city I was working in and stop to visit me overnight. Presently, I'm staying home so I usually see him for a few days each month. We're used to the arrangement. He gets on my nerves if he's around too much L.O.L. There will be quite an adjustment for both of us when we retire.

[faw42077]

Lately it has been a little crazy b/c DH works an hour away and has been working 10 hour shifts and sat. He comes home, we eat, he takes shower, he sits on couch for an hour and he goes to bed. It could be worse I guess but it is hard. A few years ago Dh worked 2nd shift and I worked 1st(before my SAHM days) and we never say each other and he never hardly saw the kids. Luckily he went to 3rd and now he is on 1st.

We have always just tried to treasure the time we did have together keeping in our mind that it wouldn't always be this way.

[santoria]

a solid and resounding YES from me!!!

my dh is working too hard these days making ends meet. its insane! we see him in the evenings and thats about it. and even then he is usually grumpy and just wants to be left ALONE (with a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old thats IMPOSSIBLE!). and I just chatter chatter chatter at him....of course I am home all day with no adult contact other than online.

Recently he will call out of the blue and ask me 'time to have a baby yet?' he wants some free time, some relax time. a few hours of quiet in the hospital while I labour will be good.....I am a leave me ALONE person. lol

[littlemotherhaywood]

My dh doesn't work odd hours, but he has been doing odd jobs plus all of the work on the house so even if he's home...he's usually not spending his time with us if you kwim. We're very independent of each other though so it doesn't bother me too much...at least not right now anyway. I know the kids get down sometimes and then dh has to just make the time because no matter how bad we are financially, they are more important than money.

[halloweenfreak]

yes, my husband works shift work, rotates every 28 days. this shift is from 11pm to 7am, so that means i am trying to keep a 4 year old quite all day so daddy can sleep. nearly impossible. when he starts school in aug. it wont be such a problem, until we get to the puppy dog shift when hubby will work 3pm to 11pm thur and friday and then 11am to 11pm sat and sun. poor coop will hardly ever see daddy until his 3 days off. sometimes i hate this job, not only because we dont see him, but also i cant get any "real" housework done until he leaves for work at 10pm, and by then im out of the mood to do it!

[MandiDawn]

My BF worked afternoons for 3 years while I was on days. In our entire 7 years of dating, we have been on opposite shifts or he worked 2 jobs while I worked and went to school. A few months ago he went to days, I'm on days, and we are togheter for the first time. I missed him so much as we didnt' see each other at all except for sat and sun. But when he went on days I was actually scared that we would not like each other anymore!!! lol.
Just hang in there, eventually it will change.

[banana]

Yes! My dh works 6 days a week 10-12 hours a day! I do feel bad for him, but he would rather work the overtime then for me to get a full time job.

[ironmaiden]

My dad was a commercial fishing captain - out for 10 days, home for 5 days. He said that he felt he actually spent more time with his kids than most dads of his day since when he was home he was home all day long.

My DH usually works very regular hours until crunch time. In the pre-kids days, he be away for 2 months solid. Now that everyone is older and has kids, they do 3 weeks away, 1 week home shifts til the work is done - usually for 2 or 3 months. He's also done the late shifts and early shifts.

It's funny the kids usually handle the long trips better than when he leaves for a quck 4 day trip. Then the howling starts before he would have even been home for work.

[jzkitten]

My dh is a long distance truck driver also. If he's in the area he'll stop by for a meal or his 34 hour reset. He's usually out 2 weeks at a time and then home for 3-4 days.

[homemaker66]

My DH works on the road also. He leaves on Sunday afternoon and returns on Friday nights. He is only home it seems like a few hours. When he is home he will try and pick up extra hours here. When I feel neglected I will drive to where he is located and spend some time with him. He still works durning the day but then I find something to do. This is a good time to find some new thrift stores in that area. Sometimes he has to stay out of town for a month at a time and then we can't go see him because it is just to far away to travel. My DH just LOVES his job and because of this it makes it possible for me to stay home and enjoy taking care of my family so all in all it works out for the both of us.

[honeybunches]

My DH is an over the road truck driver too. He calls me his weekend girlfriend. LOL. Sometimes I miss him so much and other times it's nice to see you I have to much to do. Feel bad about it, but he gets on my nerves if he's home more than the 36 hour layover. LOL. With him gone so much, I've learned to fix just about anything around here. He'd love to find a local job that pays what he gets driving so he can be home more. No such thing. If I want to stay at home then he must stay on the road.

[frugalfarmwife]

Usually hubby is on a fairly regular schedule at work but right now they're short handed so he's been working all kinds of strange shifts with really broken sleep time, poor guy. Then with the work on the farm we're both really busy, not in the house until dark and by the time we've eaten we're both just beat. (especially in this heat, ugh).

The hardest thing for us is that he's my only real social contact and some days he'll come home grumpy and bring me down.

kj