ahh the guilt?? venty

**Leahmom** · 08-23-2006, 09:56 AM

Oh boy.
Last night went to Wal-mart with my girls and spent $25.00 Gulp on a fish filter and light, candy bar, discounted swimsuit, bread bowl,and creamer.
Sheesh do I feel bad. 1st this was "unplanned" but somewhat unfortunately necessary spending.
I bought the fish filter/light because DH took daughters out and bought them Fishes a "mere $3.00"....yet..the fish would have died within a few days. He bought 3 goldfish and thought they could live in a 1 c. beta bowl.. Snort.. I had a fishtank in storage that I had scooped for $10.00 at a thrift store and was waiting to slowy collect cheap filter etc...So off to Wal-mart and a filter on sale for 10.00 and lightbulb for 3.00
Candy bar because yup you got it.missed dinner (no car so we had to catch the bus)
Discounted swimwear well I had marked in my budget next may to buy replacement swimwear for the girls. I know I would have been paying bigger $ but that was when I thought we would have that expense cause frankly got enought expenses with school start up. Nope DD ripped her swimsuit (not able to fix unnoticeably) and today. last day really before school starts she has a playdate with (somewhat snooty-really come from a more DI and spendy family than us. ) GF. So off to buy swimwear $5.00 really a good bargain actually.GGRRRRR
Impulse/kinda needed it bread bowl and creamer. $3.00
Now what fries me is thay I did NOT want to spend $. I have been living in my envelope system quite happily and I feel guilt and frankly a little resentment from last night. Now LOL I know I am being unreasonable here but gosh darn it. Definately want to have my Bakery discount cake and eat it too.
I know the swimwear was pride I do not want DD to have Less than or feel Less than with obviously patched swimwear grrrr
and the tank-well perhaps the fish treat could have been thought out more. I want to make that awful statement.." well I actually SAVED $ , what with the discount and the fish sale etc" but really a Sale is when you spend. maybe less but you still Spend. But today that 25.00 unplanned spending is going to be deducted from my groc budget next week and we are simply going to have to eat it. LOL Really eat that expense with less meat and more beans and supper meal cause I am not digging into the bank account for it. I am just mad and feel guilty that I didn't see this little financial train wreck coming my way...

But on the frugal wagon again..Better planning, less impulse buying....AAAACCCKKKKKKK

The bright side (or rather slightly less dim side) is that 2 months ago I would have blithely spent twice as much cause we "needed" it..
Sigh...2 steps forward 1 step back
Leah

**ubumartin** · 08-23-2006, 10:32 AM

Isn't it awful to have guilt. You are trying very hard for your family. You should be proud of the steps you have made. There are giong to be times when life gets in the way of your frugal living. I am trying hard to pay down credit but I have four girls who all need things for school and just after I paid off my Kohl's credit card right back up it went for school clothes. I know I will pay it down again but sometimes it is necessary and you make adjustments. Maybe next week you will do something to off set your purchases. It is all a part of life, sometimes it is easy and sometimes you have to work extra hard at things. Don't get down on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day and you can jump right back into your plan. Keep up the good work.

**kabin63** · 08-23-2006, 11:26 AM

I think we sometimes have to have these little set backs to help us grow. I don't think $25 is all that bad really. I understand what you are going through though, I have been having the same types of troubles, and then the guilt. Maybe better to forgive yourself and get right back on the wagon, so to speak. Now you can refocus. We have all been there and made mistakes. Good luck to you!

**bumplett** · 08-23-2006, 12:52 PM

I think the fact that you feel guilty shows how deticated you are to saving.

some people wouldn't have thought twice over $25.

don't be so hard on yourself

I think it's a great idea to take the $25 out of another pocket, so you patched your "oopsie" !

**Nada.Leona** · 08-23-2006, 05:35 PM

I know about that horrible little monster we call guilt -- I feel guilty just for buying fresh veggies some days. But please, please remember... when those lean meat meals come next week, don't eat the poor goldfish.

He's just a lonely little goldfish swimming around his tank. He doesn't have enough meat on him to make it worthy (certainly not $3 worth!). So please leave Mr. Goldfish alone. Don't eat him. Eat

and

instead!

*hope that made you snicker*

**LastDragonfly** · 08-23-2006, 05:50 PM

I was actually impressed with all that you got for $25. You can tell, I've not been doing this long huh? LOL.

However, I think that DD's self esteem is a priceless gem and is very hard to replace. I'm glad you got her a new swim suit. I think its important to nurture our kids while we can. This was a nurturing thing you did for her. Could she have gone w/out? sure, but now you are a hero.

The minute anyone complains next week about what's for supper....you are right they may have to do without a few goodies, but I know they won't starve. All will be right with the world again soon.

**Katybird** · 08-23-2006, 05:54 PM

I agree with the fact that you got a lot for your money and the enjoyment that your kids will get out of watching their new goldfish friends will be well worth the $25 you spent.

**Leahmom** · 08-23-2006, 06:56 PM

Thank you guys..
I was really just in the doldrums today

but I really really really appreciate the support.
the swim playdate went very well. The mom dropped her kids off with their nanny. so I was spared any comments/looks..on the other hand my DD swimsuit was the same style, diff color from her playdate!. (WHo is shoping where and caring about it??? ) So I am just laughing at myself. the things I worry about. The fish are gorgeous and really relaxing and nice. and I calculated the diff-took it out of the food budget and came up with a tasty menu and shop list for the next week. Homemade bread, cinn rolls, & pizza and peaches will make next week slide down easier. I borrowed my GF car/trade babysitting and am heading off to spend some tightwad dollars and the local dollar store on cheap food for next week. and I will do better, it is hard when I am calcualting things like pride/self-esteem/family enjoyment with the monthly bottom line, but hey I guess that is most of us here. I really appreciate the support. You guys are right, I will do better and it could have been MUCH worse, at least my financial fog is lifting in order for me even to BE upset. Thanks tons,,,I took alot of heart from the village today....i needed it..

Thanks- in calculator & budget book peace Be well
Leah