SAHM or Work?

**AveryMadison'sMommy** · 08-31-2006, 08:33 PM

Hi Ladies!

I am new here! I just found this website recently and I Love it!!! You all seem to give great advice! I wanted to get some opinions.....
DH (Tyson) and I have a 6 month old DD (Avery). I currently work at a Salvage Yard in Accounts Receivable. After all of the bills are paid, including daycare and I averaged $20/ week for some type of eating out because with me working and Tyson working sometimes the two of us are too tired to cook...., we have approximately $100-150/week left over from my check. I for some reason keep getting that we will *just* be able to pay the bills if I SAH. Please help me reason things out. What things will we save on if/when I become a SAHM?!

Thanks so much!
Brie
Avery Madison 3/10/06

**AveryMadison'sMommy** · 08-31-2006, 08:39 PM

Also wanted to ask (asked on the Utilities board as well) if you have an electric clothes dryer and you started hanging clothes out, how much did you save?

**Lorelei** · 08-31-2006, 09:19 PM

You'll save on anything that you'll stop/cut down after you stay home. That is individual, but common areas are clothing & commuting costs, daycare and restaurant meals. Taxes are often less on one income, also. You might want to do a practice tax form to see the tax effect. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised. If you have any money-saving hobbies (cooking, sewing, gardening) that you know you'd do more often if you had more time to spend on them, that is something you'll want to consider when making your decision.

I can't answer about the savings regarding hanging clothes because I use my dryer. I know it should save money, but there are too many pollen allergies in my family for me to use a clothesline. I'm sure someone will have a good answer for you, though.

Congratulations on thinking about this decision. No matter what you decide you'll know you're doing what is best for your family. As a SAHM for many years, I can tell you that it is an incredible experience. If you find that you can't do it now, you might be able to make enough changes in your lifestyle over time to allow you to stay home in the future. Good luck!

**kabin63** · 08-31-2006, 09:23 PM

Brie,
One of the advantages of being a SAHM is that you get to be home with your child and don't have to call off if she is sick or has an appointment. You can save gas money by not having to drive to work and it saves wear and tear on the car as well. You have the advantage of being able to cook more meals, therefore saving you money by not eating out. There are many advantages IMHO of staying home, but it really is a matter of personal choice.

Welcome to the village!

**Mumzy** · 08-31-2006, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by AveryMadison'sMommy

Hi Ladies!

I am new here! I just found this website recently and I Love it!!! You all seem to give great advice! I wanted to get some opinions.....
DH (Tyson) and I have a 6 month old DD (Avery). I currently work at a Salvage Yard in Accounts Receivable. After all of the bills are paid, including daycare and I averaged $20/ week for some type of eating out because with me working and Tyson working sometimes the two of us are too tired to cook...., we have approximately $100-150/week left over from my check. I for some reason keep getting that we will *just* be able to pay the bills if I SAH. Please help me reason things out. What things will we save on if/when I become a SAHM?!

First welcome.

If that is a picture of your dd I can easily see why you want to stay at home with her.
If being a SAHM is your goal. Getting and staying out of debt will get you beyond the point of just being able to pay bills. Looking around this site will give you many inspiring stories and wisdom. I am sure they will give you a jump start.
To begin practice living on one income for a month. Again, this is where FV will come in very handy - ask questions. There are ways/ideas to shave off corners that make things easier.
I'll start a short list of things that I know you will save on when you are a SAHM:
First daycare.
Dr Visits and medicine. Please no one flame me. I have been watching two different families that have been repeatedly to the Dr. already since school has started and children have been back to daycare.

My frugal favorite book is the Tightwad Gazette. I don't do everything Amy suggests but it does get you thinking.
I don't hang all my clothes. But just hanging jeans and towels (bulky stuff) for a family of 4 I can reduce my electric bill by at least $25 a month. Easy.

Please give us an update.

**rachelj** · 09-01-2006, 10:39 AM

We knew that when our son was born (he is 28 mo) that I would stay home. We knew that it would be very tight, but we have always been frugal so we had that going for us. We have been amazed at how God keeps providing for us. Even when we unexpectantly got pregnant again. DD is now 9 mo.

Things we save on...
1. Gas and wear and tear on vehicle.
2. Car insurance - b/c I don't travel daily we were able to get a discount for lower mileage on our vehicle.
3. Eating out. We rarely eat out. At times there are days that I am feeling pretty energetic and will cook several main courses at once so that even when I am tired we have a home cooked meal and don't have to order for a pizza to come. Eating out is saved for "date nights".
4. I watch now more closely than ever for sales on groceries and try to stockpile.
5. I don't need to buy as many clothes!! (which is both good and bad)
6. I garagesale like crazy. So this is where I buy the kids clothes and even some toys and videos. B/c I have been able to buy so many videos for the kids for $1 here and there and we were never watching the dish, we have canceled that so that is also where we are saving money.

I also have my own home based business which also helps. There are a lot out there. I really enjoy mine and gives me a chance to not only make extra money but also get out of the house as I determine when I work and can do it when I know that I have someone to watch the kids.

I can help you find some great info on home based businesses if you want.

Rachel

**staceyy** · 09-01-2006, 12:05 PM

You'll have more time to research and try frugality techniques and to shop for bargains. You can make a lot of things you presently buy such as cooking and baking from scratch, making your own cleaning products, beauty products and convenience foods. You can also make your own greeting cards and gifts.

**carolyns** · 09-01-2006, 12:30 PM

hello! I have recently began work full time after i stayed home with my wonderful son for eight and a half years. I have already noticed that i am spending money on things that i would not have had i not started working. these include things like dinners out (for husband and him) and then for me also as i work alot of evenings; otherwise i would have made some inexpensive dinner. also, clothing, i have to buy all new clothes. also (and this is a tough one for me) i feel more guilty not being here with him always that i am buying him more little things out of guilt and find that on my days off i try to do lots of stuff with him like chuck e. cheese and movies, etc., that i did not do alot of before. i try to cram it all in and that gets expensive. i am sure there are more things that are costing me (not to mention gas and upkeep on car). so, i need to resolve this myself and stop myself from doing all these things. good luck to you; i know you can do it!

**miss_thrifty** · 09-01-2006, 01:38 PM

I love being a SAHM for the last 14 years.
Tips:
-Like they said above, your kids will be less sick, and u can have play days in your own house and yard, very inexspensive.
_I use the Libary as amajor source of enertianment and education for me and the kids, dont need money just gas if ur not close to one.
_I find when its a single income I tend to try to make the dollar last, recycle, reuse and think months up ahead for occasions instead of waiting the last minute and paying more.
_I use many sources living more frugal, living comfortably, and spending more time with my family(cheaply).
_we eat out less, and kids enjoy it more. We use the dollar store as incentives for the kids.
_using the clothes line helps, putting your cbale/phone/long distance plans/ and internet in one saves too.
_buying in bulk a little at atime when theirs sales, helps alot.
_making from scratch and freezer really helps.

**AveryMadison'sMommy** · 09-01-2006, 06:24 PM

Thanks everyone for your replies!
Yes, that is my DD in my avatar! She is the apple of my eye!!!!!
We have pretty much decided I will stay home, I just kind of need reassurance, I guess?! When we first got married (4 1/2 years ago) we got into about 5k worth of debt.....we paid that off and vowed to never be in debt again (except our mortgage). We have kept that promise now for the last 3 years. So, fortunately, our only debt is our mortgage.

I am just really scared to be on one income, I think!!! We have figured that his paycheck will pay the bills, but there will be NO extra as it stands now. Is anyone else in that situation? How did you adjust?

Thanks so much for everything already! And the warm welcome!!!

**Buckeye5** · 09-01-2006, 10:50 PM

Yes, I quit working a deadend job the end of July. I have 3 teenagers 19, 17, and 13. I was scared to death and I am still scared to death, but the quality of life has changed dramatically. My relationship with my DH of 22 years, has really gotten better. Not that it was so bad before, but I was so tired all of the time and cranky when I was working and taking care of the house, missing kids activities, getting up at 4 am and not getting to bed really late. We do have debt, mortgage, etc. but found this site and Dave Ramsey, and it has been inspirational for me. My life is calmer, but I do worry about $$. So far, we are making it. Sex has been more frequent etc. LOL DH loves that.LOL I only made $5.75 per hours, and ir really just put us in another tax bracket. Also, we changed our deductions for taxes, so now we won't get a big refund. We need the $ during the year. We are doing it one day at a time, and I will be a SAHM for as long as I can. Also, we have begun going to church again as a family, as we were not able to do so when I worked because of working on Sunday's. I am worried about the heating bill this year, but we are taking steps to cut back and save more $ to pay for propane during the winter months. I hope this helped you, PM me if you have any questions, or want to talk. Your baby is adorable.

**treeluva** · 09-02-2006, 04:06 AM

I am about to make the switch from working a gazillion hour a week job, with decent stable pay, and medical and dental, and 4 weeks of paid vacation a year, to trying something new. I am scared, but at the same time, I try to think of it as a challenge. I am getting married, (YaY!) and my future husband will still have the medical, dental, 4 weeks a year, and decent stable pay, along with the gazillion hours a week..... so the job I take is more just to still have an income while we get settled and finish paying off the debt. Once that is done, I am making the switch to a SAHM. I want to stay at home, and he wants me to stay at home, so we figured that in about 3 years, I will be able to do that. Some ask, "Why are you going to leave the stable income job?" and the answer to that is with both of us working a gazillion hours, no one is around to always cook, clean, make sure we have clean underwear, go to my girls school, plays, etc. I think the quality of life will be much higher, stress levels will go down, even if I may get paid a bit less and not have the vacation time.
I think one of the biggest things that the ladies (and some gents!) do here is look at saving money, and finding new ways to save, as a challenge, instead of a nusiance. I also see that pretty much everyone here wants what they got, instead of wanting what they want, if that makes any sense.
Good luck to you and your family! I know you can do it. Just look at every way every penny goes out, and determine if for your family, that is really a need or a want. If you arent on WIC, go see if you qualify. It will help lower your grocery bill about 100 dollars a month, (depending on what area you are in). Freecycle, especially for baby items. Most baby items barely get used, and people just try to get rid of them after a while!

**Telephus44** · 09-02-2006, 12:24 PM

I'm not a SAHM, but one thing I always figured I'd be able to save on if I was a SAHM was the time-intensive frugal activities - gardening, making my own laundry soap, sewing children's Halloween costumes - they are some great frugal ideas out there that require little money but a lot of time, and of course, when you work you don't have as much time!

On the taxes idea, here's an easy Tax Calculator - of course its for last year and it's just an estimate, but it will give you a rough idea of how the taxes would work out differently if you stay at home.

http://moneycentral.msn.com/investor...n_tax/main.asp

Also, I have found that one of the great things about this board is that you'll find all sorts of families here - some are two income, some are one income - but I have never seen any posts where people were flamed or unfairly judged for their choices. So do what it right for you, and we'll all support you!

**FarmerSue** · 09-02-2006, 01:32 PM

Congratulations on being debt free Brie!!!!!!!!That alone needs recognizing!!!
I've been a stay at home mom since my first pregnancy, two years after I got married. It is a challenge, it can be very boring, but the challenge can be in filling up your day with productive, low cost things for you and your little cutie to do. If you have a library near by check it out and see what they have for movies, books on frugal living, books that interest you, etc. Some even host groups of little ones for a story and a play. Do you have any hobbies. Nap time is when I try to devote time to my hobbies......giving of yourself to your family and kids all day can be tiring and my hobbies recharge me. There is a book out and its called "So you want to be a stay at home mom" the authors' first name is Cheryl but I can't think of the last name, maybe someone elso can help me with it? Good luck Brie and we support you!