Disheartening Debt Snowball

**littlemotherhaywood** · 10-27-2006, 11:55 AM

I know that this scenario is only in a perfect world if nothing changes. I sat down and did the math to see how long it would take us to be debt free of the debts in my sig and just applying only what's currently being paid (not including gma Helen and three are at 0%) we will be debt free Oct. 2016. That's barring us buying a house again at some point and that's not adding in any extra. Holy cow! Ten years is a long time. I'm in awe that we've been in debt for almost that long to begin with. The biggie is dh's student loan. After paying off everything else, there's an additional six years to pay that off even after adding over $600 extra to the principle. Now I know we don't live in a perfect world and I know that we'll be able to add more to it, but wow, just seeing it like that. I thought maybe I could motivate dh if I showed him the numbers, but not those numbers. There's no way he'd be able to see the light with a ten year tunnel. Or perhaps it would motivate him to give me more money to work with. Do I have to wait ten years to put away three to six months worth of expenses. Our dd will be graduating in ten years. We'd no sooner pay off hat student loan and then have the expense of her college education. I'm just going to keep reminding myself that it's not going to work like that. We're going to be debt free a lot sooner than that. That's a promise I'm making to myself here and now

**celina** · 10-27-2006, 12:00 PM

me and dh covered our own education, no debt incured...your retirement should take precedence as you cant finance your retirement...wasnt it you who was mentioning bankruptcy? anyhow..hang in there....just imagine how quick the last 10 yrs went by..

**3-boys-4-me** · 10-27-2006, 12:08 PM

Hey! Did I miss a post of yours or something? Who is that ADORABLE puppy? Oh my goodness, he's just too cute!
Anyway, yeah I don't think I would show your DH those numbers just yet. I thought you were going to file for bankrupcy. What have the 2 of you decided to do?
Whatever you decide to do. Whatever happens in the future, you're all going to be okay. You'll learn from this and be wiser when it comes to money.

I am thinking of ya!

**Katybird** · 10-27-2006, 12:22 PM

Kimberly. Hang in there, you are working really hard and you will see the results. We are all here for you, if you need a shoulder, we have lots of them and they are all here for you.

**littlemotherhaywood** · 10-27-2006, 12:28 PM

We are still filing bk. The debts in my sig are debts we have to reaffirm and continue to pay. Ironically, I was just upstairs reading DR's chapter about snowballing and I was wondering how those people all overcome such huge amounts of debt so quickly. It's really inspiring. I think we could do it much sooner if I could apply more to the process. There are, unfortunately, a few things I have to plan for first. I believe even DR would agree we have an "expected" emergency with dh not expecting pay in June and July. I know he was planning on painting during the summer, but since he's so adamant about holding onto that money, I have to plan for a summer without it which means a lot of scrimping to pay for summertime bills. I'm optimistic though. Reading that chapter was just what I needed to do

**emily_hope** · 10-27-2006, 01:05 PM

Hang in there, girl.

**Shellshome** · 10-27-2006, 02:28 PM

You can't put the student loans into Bankruptcy? That is a lot of debt right there. Is there any chance in moving back to Ohio? or getting help from family? I know that is it tough to ask family but sometime you have to do things that are tough.

I think your best bet is to tell dh that this is how it has to be and he helped make those debts you did not do them by yourself. Maybe showing him how long it will take to get out of that debt will make him wake up. I mean do you want to rent forever or own a home of your own? I would think that paying down those debts so that you can have a home would be way more important then some $20 shirt or $1000 tv. I am sorry but dh and I have been digging out of the hole we are in and we are finally making progress.

Also do you have Credit cards? If yes get rid of them except keep one if you feel you need to. Dh and I only have 1 credit card and it is homedepot and we are paying it off at the end of the year. I think credit cards can get you in a whole lot of trouble. We have come up with a new rule if we can't pay for it in cash or pay for it on the homedepot card and pay it off by the following month then we are not getting it. We had a small screw up at the begining of the year instead of saving our tax return we went out and bought a new couch and recliner (we did need) and a big screen tv (something dh has wanted forever but we did not need it) and then we feel behind in some bills and we are slowly paying them off now. (We are hoping to be debt free by Jan 1 except for mortage). Which for us it is big deal we have never had things paid up or on time but starting now we are doing this but it takes both of us and we have agreed that we don't need things like we think we do we need to save save save.

I really think that dh needs to get on board how does he think you will live in the summer? Yes it is a whiles away but not really if you stress and worry about it now. I mean if he is picking up odd jobs here and there that money needs to come into the household to pay for things. I mean he does use the electric, he does bath and have clean laundry he eats and things right? So what makes him think that those things just get paid by the money fairy or something?

I am sorry that you are going thru this but dh needs a wake up call. I would think filing bankruptcy would do that but I don't really think it is going to. I think he see's it as he is free and clear and nothing to really worry about but there is and you need to show him the numbers and make him understand that when he is XX years old he will still be paying on something from 10 years ago call me crazy but to me that would be a wake up call.

Sorry so long and I hope you are not upset but I think he needs to put on his big boy pants and grow up. (I mean he has 15 pairs so I am sure he can find a pair that would work) Good luck!!

**rachelj** · 10-27-2006, 03:46 PM

What kind of school loans are they? I was able to get some of my school loans CANCELED b/c I worked with kids (had to qualify). Check it out! Only my Perkins loans had this which was a small amount in the whole scheme of school loans. But BOY DID IT HELP! So not only did the government pay for them but then I didn't have to pay any monthly bill on it either! Call and see what they do!

**MTS04** · 10-27-2006, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by littlemotherhaywood

Ironically, I was just upstairs reading DR's chapter about snowballing and I was wondering how those people all overcome such huge amounts of debt so quickly. It's really inspiring

If you look into the notes that epole put about snowballing, a lot of people overcame that debt quickly by selling some of their big ticket possessions. Like status cars, boats etc. Some traded in to smaller cheaper vehicles with 0 payment. Others just really strapped down and did with the bare minimums.

You can do it, and we are behind you all the way!

Keep reading DR, listen to his show and keep being inspired. You can do it!!

**Cricket1** · 10-27-2006, 08:26 PM

I have two thoughts. First of all, I don't know your husband, but I know if you tell some people that they won't be out of debt until 2016 they are going to think "What the heck--I'm in debt until 2016 anyway, so why don't I just buy this new (fill in the blank)."

Second, income is income. It doesn't matter where it's coming from (painting)and when (summer). You need it for your family and your bills. I would let him have very little of it for "blow" money. BTW, how much are you getting for "blow" money?

I know that in some of your posts you were mentioning getting a p/t job at a daycare and then in another post you mentioned looking for a job in January (sorry if I'm getting your posts confused with someone elses). Is there any chance of getting a job sooner so you can save more?

**Cele** · 10-27-2006, 09:59 PM

Kimberly, through reading your posts I can see that our minds work in similar ways. I have to read and research every inch and every angle of whatever it is I'm working on, be it work stuff or home stuff. Therefore, I have a tendency to over-do it and create more stress in my life, when I trying to do just the opposite! So, understand I'm asking this in kindness. When was the last time you did something fun...just for your soul and your mental health? I'm worried that you are working the numbers so hard that you will crash and burn. Please, please take time for yourself and be kind to yourself, ok?

**kittyrose** · 10-28-2006, 05:11 AM

kimberly... i think you said your dh was a teacher?... is this correct?>..
i know here in fl if you go to school to be a teacher and work for the state for a certain # of years, you get your student loans forgiven... it is part of an incentive program to people in fl to go to school and be teachers since we have such a shortage of them...
also, in bankruptcy, student loans are not forgiven... this i know bc my niece had to file and she still had to pay the loans...
did i read correctly?... almost $64,000.00 in student loans?????? ... oh my!... i know when my dh and i bought our house, we had to have his student loans almost paid off b4 we could get a mortgage... that was the advice we got from a friend who is a mortgage broker (he only owed like $2000)... but this is in florida... tn might be different... i do know that when my dh was married to his ex wife when he had the student loans, and they got divorced, she wasnt obligated to pay them back... he was bc it was on his ss #... they lived in ky at the time... something to think about...
yes, you do need to take some time for yourself... and for the children...
i hope all will be fine for you soon...
(((hugs)))

**littlemotherhaywood** · 10-28-2006, 11:01 AM

Thanks ladies. No, I haven't done anything fun for me in a while. I don't relax easily. As far as dh's student loans go, they're so big because he got way more money than he needed and spent it and then used his reimbursement from work to play too

ARGH! I try not to even think about it. Stupid, stupid, stupid! In any case, I do know that since he's teaching in a "qualified" area they should forgive some of his loans each year, but how much and definitely is not known. He has to teach for a year first and then the principle has to fill out some paperwork. I want to say it was $5000, but it's really confusing. The time frame may even be five years and there's something about not having outstanding loans prior to 1998 which is when he was in college so it's something I have to further research. I just went back and read the site over again and it doesn't look like we'll qualify for anything

I won't give up though. You never know.

Whoever said the thing about being in debt till 2016 and racking up more debt is right. That is just the attitude he would have.

I just got the job subbing at the KDO. For now it'll be the full three days a week, but I'm not sure for how long. I need to wait until January to look for a pt evening job because my dh is teaching three night classes a week until then and we still only have one car. Right now I keep the car during the day and then he rides his bike to the school and back. When he gets home he takes the car to his pt job at SW and then to his class if he has one. He ended up working today too even though originally he wasn't supposed to.

I told him how much we needed to save for summer and he flipped out. Now in all reality it doesn't need to be that much, but I don't know if he plans on keeping his pt job, picking up more classes, tutoring, etc... I thought the whole reason he wanted to be a teacher was so he would have less stress and more time to spend with his family. I guess only he can decide if he wants to work till he drops because he needs material things.

**Shellshome** · 10-28-2006, 11:11 AM

I am really sorry you are having all this stress. But it is not good for your health you really need to do something to have fun just for you no hubby or kids allowed.

Now why would he freak out when you told him about the need for money come summer next year? Is it because he thinks it is a long way off? I mean it is but you still have to start saving now for it to get here.

I really don't think he gets it and I am not so sure he ever will get it. I am afraid that you are filing bankruptcy and he is just going to think it is ok to go and get whatever he wants whenever he wants it and who cares. He doesn't get the concept that he has a family that he helped make and needs to take care of. I mean I am sure in the wedding vows it was in sickness and health for richer or poorer. But I guess he didn't get the whole concept that right now you are on the poor end of that spectrum.

I am sorry that you are going thru this it did take me some time for my dh to realize that we can't spend money like we have it when we really didn't. I am excited that I now have a job and will be bring in extra money and that is great but to just spend it because we have it is stupid and a waste.

So maybe with your money you should pay some bills and save some even if it is only $50 or even $10 you save to be able to fell better and more secure.

Good luck to you I know you are trying to do what is right but you can't do it on your own and I don't think you are going to change him any right now.

**stoneking78** · 10-28-2006, 11:21 AM

Good luck to you. I think that these ladies are right. You need to go and do something for you. Maybe go to the bookstore and read a book, and get a yummy coffee or yummy treat. As for your dh, I would push him to try to get a job teaching at a summer school. What does he teach? I have a friend who her dbf teaches at 2 colleges and then works a few nights a week being a tutor. Also is it possible to choose how your dh gets paid? I know that the teachers out here can choose to get paid throughout the school year, or over the whole year so then their checks are less but they always have a steady income. Maybe if your dh does not feel that he should have to give up his painting money then he should have his paycheck switched to a payout for the full year so that you are not stuck trying to figure out what to do come summertime!