We will most likely end up being a family of 3

**Sheila Q** · 12-21-2006, 11:50 PM

Hi,

As I sit here to write this my heart is heavy. We are adopting a little girl from China. I know the other adoptive moms know but China will change their policy come May of '07 and with weight issues that are being resolved and definitely the anti-depressants that will knock us out for another daughter from China.

We have thought about ttc again but I am afraid after having my ep but as I am getting healthy it might be in our cards to ttc again. However as we talked finances we know we cannot afford to do another adoption. Some of our tile fell in our bathroom and this house really needs alot of improvements. I don't know how I can come up with another 20k again. This adoptions tab is high and they expect prices to go higher. So unless we hit the lottery adoption for the second time it out.

So we know we have debt that we are gonna squash after the new year. We are gonna do some house projects. But seeing that my crystal ball says one child we want to start a bank account for her and save for her education. The many people we know that do have one child says it is so much easier to attain goals for them and for yourself.

I am soooooooooo hoping these people are right. One of dh's co-workers who has one daughter said though he could afford more children with having just her she gets everything but she also knows she cannot demand this or that. So we will see.

**Darlene** · 12-22-2006, 07:34 AM

Sending you a big hug. Hoping that daughter you are longing for is in your arms soon. I know she's going to fill your heart and will so love having you all to herself. 3 is a lovely number for a family... You, someone you love and a special someone you both love together.

**seadream** · 12-22-2006, 09:35 AM

We will be a family of 3 also when our adoption goes through.

I always dreamed of having 2 children, but God had other plans for us. We will get a very special child to love that he chooses for us. Just wish he would hurry up..lol

**inneedofhope** · 12-22-2006, 12:35 PM

Having only one child does have its benefits. If your heart still aches for that second child, don't rule out foster care adoption. It can be a grueling process, but it might be an option if you haven't explored it already.
Best of luck with whatever you pursue.

**pinetree** · 12-22-2006, 01:30 PM

We are a family of 3.. Three is fantastic!

I don't know about advantages of having one. I don't think he had more or less of what the other kids did.

The kids are what you teach them, He doesn't expect anything, works for what he wants, even his first car. He was taught to share. Treat people with respect..Not really any different than anyone else's child.

We could not afford college, so he had to do like every one else.

The only thing that really bothers me is when we are gone, he will be by himself. But he tells me he has his friends and his fiance. He'll be just fine. ( and they plan on having NO children ) Yep, that means No Grandma...ever

**Bethany** · 12-22-2006, 02:09 PM

All families are different and they are all gifts! I was fortunate to give birth to two beautiful children, but I am also in awe of so many of my friends who had (and are having) a wonderful experience with joyous adoptions. I wish you the best.

**ironmaiden** · 12-22-2006, 02:43 PM

I sent you a private message. Do you know where to find them?
Look at the top right corner area of this page. It should have a link that says Private Messages.

**kaykwilts** · 12-22-2006, 03:39 PM

How is China's adoption policy changing? Just cuious.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 12-22-2006, 04:08 PM

sending hugs your way!!!!

**Telephus44** · 12-22-2006, 06:13 PM

Honestly, we're still thinking on the having more kids part. We want to see how we handle #1 first.

I always think - you can have one and change your mind and have the second, but you can't have two and change your mind and only have one!

**lottaLove** · 12-22-2006, 09:09 PM

We are sending hugs and prayers your way. Three is a wonderful family size, and I'm sure both you and DH will love your child to no end

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 12-22-2006, 09:24 PM

Sending hugs to you... God has a special plan for your family...and a special little girl, too!

**Cricket1** · 12-23-2006, 10:20 PM

Remember, nothing is written in stone. Things can change. PLEASE don't get discouraged by what I wrote. The thing about the meds still needs to be ironed out. Don't lose hope. I know waiting for a baby is hard and does crazy things with your head!! It feels like it will never happen, but eventually the time rolls around and you get your phone call.

When my second son was due to come home, airports were cancelling flights left and right due to terrorism and I was out of my mind.

Keep your chin up and let me know if you need to chat.

**kittyrose** · 12-23-2006, 11:40 PM

like one of the people said, becoming a foster care parent and then adopting them is soooo easy in the state of florida...
i remember reading an article in the local paper, this couple adopted a biracial child and the parents were foster parents for like 6 months or something like that... it wasnt long...
the list is soooo long and alot of these children are special needs children, too...
if my husband didnt have lots of health issues, we were thinking of doing this... at the time, we had a big house, and a good income and i was a sahm... but now, my circumstances are different... maybe someday i will be able to open my home to a child in need...
its a shame the adoption of Chinese babies is changing... so many people would love to adopt them but the red tape and the cost is alot...
i will keep you in my prayers... dont give up... if it is meant to be, you will be able to adopt another child...

**nwmissourigal** · 12-24-2006, 09:10 PM

Families come is all shapes and sizes. You daughter will feel so much love from the 2 of you. My daughter had a son and they tried to long to have another child, but it wasn't meant for them. Or so they thought. After deciding that one was enough for them, God blessed them with a daughter. God does have a plan for you and your family. Be still and listen for God's answers. Blessing to you and your familis...Kathy