Need some advice...and maybe a bit of justification?

[Ani]

Okay, so I'm having a major dilemma, and I really need some advice. I don't know if I've ever been this confused about a big-ish decision before. I was trying to think of some neutral parties to bounce this off of, and who better than you wonderful frugal ladies!

Pre-amble:

Hubby's mom is in a very bad situation financially since her husband died last year. All of the children chip in to pick up the load on a monthly basis. Because hubby and I make more and have more expendable income than any of the other siblings, the bulk of the load kind of fell on us. His mom is a saint and is super grateful, but it does put a bit of a financial strain on us from time to time. In an average month we pay our alotted $100 to help out with bills, $75 extra on our car insurance (we added her to our plan), and $165 for her car payment (her car died, so we bought her a quality used car with several thousand down and now we have some low monthly payments for it for a while). On top of that, I take her grocery shopping with me every week and generally spend between $20 and $30 on her for breakfast and lunch items (she doesn't eat if someone doesn't look after her) and she also comes down to our house and eats dinner with us most nights. To say the least...we pay a LOT toward her upkeep every month. I REALLY don't mind helping her out like this, she is such a kind and caring woman, I'm giving the above information only to illustrate what kind of upkeep we put into her.

Aside from the "charitable" financial outflow to her every month, we also pay 10% of our gross income in church tithing (generally between $600 and $700 a month). This is not optional in my mind, I've been paying 10% on my gross income all my life.

So, basically, all of this pre-amble is intended to show our current level of charitable contributions per month.

Our House:

We bought a fixer-upper two years ago, and have been fixing it up ever since. The way that we go about it is to plan out a phase of projects, save up the money for them, and then complete them. Once they're complete, we plan out the next phase of projects, save up the money for them, and then complete them. It's taken a while, but we've also gotten a long way on the remodeling. We're about 2 weeks away from having the final chunk of money saved up that we need in order to finish the house/yard...to the tune of $13,000. I'm SO thrilled at the prospect of being able to have a completed house by the time that the baby is born, and to not be living in a construction zone any longer. With the $13,000 we could entirely finish the inside of our house, as well as complete the yard this summer.

The Problem:

Last night hubby came to me with a suggestion that I'd not previously thought of for some reason -- maybe we should pay off the car we bought his mom with some of the money (it would take $9120), and use the rest to do what we could with the inside of the house, and then save again. Upon this suggestion my heart absolutely sank.

1. I've been waiting what feels like a long time to have the house completed. I've lived in a construction zone with no yard for two years just so that we could pay for remodeling out of pocket and not take out loans to do it.

2. I'm afraid to have the baby here with all of the dust that ends up around because of the various zones of construction. I'm also worried about the baby hurting himself on something if our house is still not done when he starts to crawl.

3. This would put us about 6 months or so from finishing the inside of the house, and the yard would be a distant dream for next year.

I technically know that the "smartest" thing to do would be to pay off the car (thus freeing up $165/month) and start socking money into savings aggressively again. But I just don't want to. *throws a mini tantrum* The car is at a 5.5% interest rate which is extremely good for a used car, and I honestly couldn't care less if it takes us a couple of years to pay it off. We'll still pay it off ahead of time. I do, however, care deeply if it takes us a couple years to finish the house.

I'm just so torn. The smart part of me says that of course I should pay off the car. Why pay interest on something that could be owned outright? The selfish part of me wants to use the money for the house as previously intended. Our budget is fine right now, we have surplus every month, we can afford the car payment easily.

Plus...I feel like we do so much for other people already (not trying to brag or say "I'm so great"...it's just kind of an obvious fact when you look at our finances, that's why I provided the pre-amble as some weak attempt at justification), I feel like we deserve to have our house finished. We've worked so hard for it. We do ALL of the work ourselves to save on costs, and we save and save and save for it. I'm afraid that if we pay off his mom's car and then can't finish the house before the baby is born, that I may start to resent his mom for the money that we pay toward her and for having a nicer car than ours that we've sacrificed greatly for her to have. I have been SO good at not feeling resentful to her for anything, and I'm afraid this may tip the scales.

But then, my frugal voice comes back again...pay off the car! What are you thinking? You have debt on a depreciating asset! Pay off the car!

I just don't know what to do. I'm near tears every time I think about it. What would you guys do? Do you think I'm justified in being less "financially intelligent" by continuing to pay on a depreciating asset while using a large chunk of money to finish my home?

I know this is long, I'm really sorry for rambling, but I desperately need some advice, or maybe even a hug or someone telling me that it's okay to be so torn.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this and responds.

[brenda67]

Oh Honey..I'm sending you ((BIG HUGS)).. I'm gonna say finish your house..you have some very good points all ways around..but you always have to remember that saving for certain things needs to have a balance which you and your Dh have been doing a great job at saving((A BIG PAT ON THE BACK)) I think it's more important to get the house finished and enjoy your baby that will soon make his appearance..JMO..

[Missy]

i would say take care of the house because of the dust problems with the new baby. Just my opinion

[Luv2BeFrugal]

You have a great deal on the car interest. The payments are way manageable for you. You've already done so much...

IMHO, part of being frugal is balancing. Getting your home in shape...what you have to live in day in and day out...is more important.

We still have a lot of debts to pay off (see my sig.), but we haven't been on a vacation or done anything special since 2001...next week we're going to Vegas. Yes, the money could be put towards bills...but after nearly 6 years of all work and no play we just *need* the break. Thus, "balance" comes into play. All will be waiting for us when we get back and we'll pick up where we left off.

You're doing a wonderful job handling money and helping others. In all of your factoring, remember it's ok to do nice things for yourself, too.

I vote for fix your home...who knows, there may be some $$ leftover afterward and you could throw that towards the car? If nothing else, you'll have a lovely home to raise your baby in.

Keep your chin up! It'll all be fine! Oh, and don't forget to eat some . That'll make ya feel better.

[i.m.cheap]

I would get that house finished!

[nuisance26]

~I just read an article today on frugality and regret. The main theme was that people come to regret always making the 'right' financial decisions. It sounds like you'd regret not fixing the house first. Is that something you wanna live with? I think you know what you wanna do. When I'm stuck between frugality and emotional health I choose emotional health. JMO.~

[Lyn5]

I agree with the other ladies, my vote is for the house.

I think if you have not been resentful until now, that is a very wonderful emotion to have. In a year you may be sitting with baby looking out the window at the dust when your DMil drives up in the car you paid for...well, that might get hard. JMHO.

Oh, and I also think that what you have managed to save and pay for while helping so many others is awesome!

[auntie2many]

(((hugs))) to you for your giving heart both to your mother-in-law and to the church. Your hearts are in the right place.

I would however finish the house before paying off the car. Time to treat yourselves and to give baby a safe environment for his infant years.

[suzysaver]

Finish your house, being frugal is a great way of life...but being too frugal can make you miserable. You need to do what's in your heart and you have worked so hard and so long, you deserve something for yourself and your family.

[starsapphire]

Finish the house.

[Cricket1]

Finish the house--you don't want to be living in a dusty construction zone with the new baby. All of that dust won't be good for him/her.

[dcompton]

You need to finish the house. For all the reasons you gave. Does your DH know how terribly important this is to you? It sounded like paying off the car was an idea that just suddenly came to him. You have planned the house together for a long time. Stick to your plan. The car will be paid off when the car is paid off.

[Jenna]

Finish the house.

[mumof2gorgeousgirls]

Finish your house and enjoy it. Then divert those savings $$ to paying off the car loan (in addition to the $165 you already pay).

You are doing a lot of good for your mil, it's your time to enjoy your house.

[nwmissourigal]

I agree with eveyone else. Definitely finish the house.