Not my business...

[jamie79]

I must keep saying this to myself. I have a relative whom I love very much and he and his wife have 3 kids. Oldest is out on his own,19 yr old dd cant hold a job, didnt finish h.s and has here bf living with them who cant hold a job and then my realative has a 6 yr old dd. They live in a apt which is dumpy. My relative has worked the same job 11 yrs and wife works but they do not make alot of money. So what do they do? Go buy a brand new 2007 Toyota with payments of $500 a month and they live in Massachusetts so car ins is costly. He told me that their ins is almost $200 a month. I didnt say anything about it when I spoke with him. I shake my head at the thought of it all

[Nada.Leona]

Ugh, sounds like a poor set-up. Wonder whose idea it was to buy the vehicle?

But you're right, it's not your place to step in and say or do anything. Sometimes people need to just fall flat on their faces before they figure out what is making them trip. Take your time, offer advice when asked and make it obvious that you care and are willing to help (so long as they don't take advantage of it, of course). But you really can't step in and say anything about it at this point.

Keep your chin up -- babysteps to the full run will get them there.

[FrugalMomof3]

I agree about the poor set-up and poor thinking on their part, it's a shame too, how I wish I had money like that to waste but then again I wouldnt be wasting it I would be saving it.

Hopefully they will learn but most likely it will be the hard way, it's a shame too, hope everything works out for them but like Naderbug said you cant just step in but you can give some advice.

[jamie79]

Oh I should say that they have done many things like this over the yrs and more then likely the car will end up getting repossed in a matter of a few months. They will never change their mindset

[PrairieRose]

I feel your pain Jaimie. I have relatives that do much the same. It wouldn't matter if you did say something, most likely. It would just make them resent you. Ask me how I know......

[Cele]

I have relatives who do things like that. Tempting as it is, I don't offer advice (unless asked). As my great grandma used to say, leopards don't change their spots.

[AheeK]

Ugh, I know what you're going through, Jamie. Alberta is booming like crazy right now and sometimes it seems like the whole province is living beyond their means...including some members of my own family. It's hard to stay quiet when you see them make mistakes, but Naderbug is right...some people just don't learn until they fall flat on their faces. I keep hoping, though....

[grneyegrl]

my god and im worried about making my 234 a month payment on my used 2006 car.

[Amanda W]

Almost all of my relatives make financial decisions that I can't begin to understand. When my grandfather died a few years ago, he left over $100,000 in cash and a house that was paid for to my parents. The last time I talked to them, and all the money was gone, the house now has a $100K mortgage, and they're water was going to be shut off.

As hard as it is, you just have to bite your tongue and thank God you know better.

[Marie78]

I know how you feel, you tell yourself, "it's not my business." I try to do the same thing, as I bite my tongue and tell my fiance how disappointed I am in some of my family member's choices. I make mistakes too, I hope I have learned from a few of them. Then there is family... and their mistakes help me to make less of my own!

[miss_thrifty]

yep, my hubby was one of those dummies too. we sold our house , had all our bills paid, including the car. he sells it, buys a 2002 ford crap truck that keep us in dept in parts lol I told him, but hes the bread winner and he thinks he deserved it hahahahahah so honey i know how u feel when u want to keep your mouth shut. Im not suppose to keep mine shut, i have say, or i though i did at the time . !!!!!