Discouraged over setbacks to my attempts at "frugal" grocery shopping

**lukesmama** · 04-17-2007, 04:51 PM

I am so discouraged. I try so hard to stay under budget on groceries (I do include HBA, formula, diapers, cleaners, and eating out in that one number). But lately, I've spent tons of time, gone to many stores chasing down sales, and have suffered setbacks and disappointments. Following are just a few.

*Yesterday used two buy one get one free coupons for a different brand of infant formula, which my doc ok'ed. Was so excited to be getting it at essentially 50% off. Made special store trip, bought four cans. Tried it today, made my son spit up horribly and then he just refused to take it, cried 'til hysterical and red-faced. Dumped out, filled bottle with the usual, and he took it immediately. My child will apparently not tolerate brand-switching. Now I get to try to return an opened can of formula to the store (in addition to the three others), plus try to explain that I used coupons for buy one get one free so now they have to back that out when they refund me. This should be fun.
*At same store, had coupons for freebies with purchase (specific items). Items were out of stock.

*Last week, bought eggs specifically because I had a store coupon and it'd make them a good deal. Forgot to turn in coupon at register. (I actually do this all the time.)
*Yesterday, got a can of (different) formula on sale using extracare bucks at CVS. Totally forgot to give cashier my formula check (would've saved me $5) and the coupon for the body wash I was buying.
*Made special trip to store for cheap diapers ($5.99) and found the limit per person was 1.
*Bought toothpaste at Rite Aid 2 weeks ago, should have been free after rebate. Well, when I entered my receipt online, it didn't come up as rebate item. Returned item to the store, since I didn't want it unless it was free, and lost the $1 off coupon I used on it, since they obviously couldn't give that back with my partial refund.
*Gave cashier a couple weeks ago three coupons, found out when I got home she missed a $1 coupon. Didn't feel like stressing over it and making another trip to convince the cashier to give me my $1 back, so just forgot about it.
*Monday the bagger at a store forgot to give me my bread, plus I was overcharged by $1 for an item. Had to make a special trip back to correct both issues.

I'm really having a rough time and am burned out for spending so much energy on couponing/bargain hunting/matching sales to coupons and rebates.

In addition to all this - I'm already over budget for April. Sales have demolished my budget. I do, however, have 7 cans of Lysol wipes, so I'll have sterile kitchen counters long after we run out of food.

I know I'm rambling. I am just trying to work out in my mind what the best thing to do is. I do enjoy bargain hunting (a lot). But when things like the above happen, it seems to ruin my day, which is ridiculous. Plus I'm spending way too much time running from store to store with a 2-year old and a baby.

Maybe I ought to take a good long break from rebates and just limit myself to shopping at ONE store (I like Walmart or Target as my base of operations, so to speak). And instead of running out five days a week to pick up this and that, just go once a week. And ignore sales that would require me going to a specific store (walmart price matches, and most local stores are smart and do buy one get one free sales, which WM won't price match on).

I'm a terrible planner, but I really have been trying. I have a menu for the rest of the month and will wind up having to go back next week for milk and one or two small things, but that's it. So I may be able to at least keep my amount spent under what I spent last month (over $600). That's my "new" goal, I suppose.

Is it just me? Am I just a terrible grocery bargain shopper? I don't play the "grocery game" very well, do I? I thought I was very frugal, but now I realize I still spent too much this month and am burned out to boot.

Maybe I'll switch to all generics and ignore coupons, too.

**OzFreeBird** · 04-17-2007, 05:55 PM

Sorry to hear about the troubles you have been having.

It sounds to me you are biting off perhaps more than you can chew. Don't be so hard on yourself whilst "fine tuning" your system! Perhaps if you decided to focus on one great deal at a time, say a loss leader during a normal shopping expedition, stock up on that, then next time focus on another loss leader and couponing for formula, and build your "shopping method" based on that. Its a big ask to do what you have been doing, going from place to place with such young kids in tow.

As for the formula, I know I will be frowned upon for mentioning this here on FV, but how about putting a tiny smidgin of honey (1/2 teaspoonful) in your new formula, or some other natural sweetener, and then if he accepts it, cut back on the sweetener little by little over a day or two, until he accepts the "new" taste?

Its the same sort of temporary ruse as putting your generic breakfast cereal in a branded box for your hubby to eat.....he objected to the taste of the generic cereal but once I put the same cereal in a branded box, he eats it quite happily. No longer notices any taste difference. Men are such simple creatures, at any age in life

**frugalwanttobe** · 04-17-2007, 06:36 PM

I found that when I stopped doing the grocery game I had more food in my house and more time with my family. It takes a lot of time to do all of that bargain shopping. Also we like real food not processed. I do buy some processed foods but it is probably less than 10% of my order. I would rather buy fruits, vegetables and meat than Mrs. Paul's fishsticks and Hot Pockets. If I buy prepared foods I try to buy foods without any food coloring. Children do not need food coloring and neither do adults. This is just my opinion but to sum it all up my family is healthier and we have more money in the bank now and I have more time to cut corners elsewhere since I am no longer a player in the game.

Before I go away...another tip I have for you is....only cut coupons that you use...not something that you think you are going to use....what happens is you become so overwhelmed that you don't even use the coupons that are a sure thing for your family.

Please do not give your baby honey. I believe under a certain age it is a no-no. I never messed around with formula. I bought only name brands that I was sure of. I feel baby formula, dog food and cat food should be high quality brands. If you figure babies, who are not breastfed, their main source of nourishment is from one thing, formula, it should be a good one. It is not like children and adults who eat a variety of foods and not one base food. Dogs and cats same thing, sure we give them scraps, or I do at least but most of their nourishment comes from one source. It should be a good source, all natural.

This is just my opinion.

**jlaporte** · 04-17-2007, 07:39 PM

i also agree. honey and nuts to for that matter are a no go for little ones.do you know anyone else with a baby? maybe you could switch or work out a deal. if the store wount take em back donate to a pantry.or call the pediatrician and ask for formula. i know my doc gave it to me by the case.you never know it is worth a shot.

**mom21ofeach** · 04-17-2007, 07:39 PM

Try mixing about 1/4th of the new into the old. Do that for a day or two and increase to 1/2 of the old, etc, etc until you are 100% on the new. I did this with my kids when I was switching brands and it worked fine. It will take about a week to transfer over, but at least you won't waste it.

As for the shopping, I just don't have the energy to chase down all the sales. I don't do the Grocery Game because it's too much work and I don't use a lot of the products they use coupons for in the first place. I have a friend here in town who does it and she loves it...it's like her hobby or something! Try to find a store that does ad matches, and go from there. Use coupons at stores that double/triple them and watch their ads for sales on stuff you have coupons for and you use. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a learning process to figure out what works for you.

**AmyMCGS** · 04-17-2007, 07:46 PM

I agree that you're probably trying to do too much. Running yourself ragged doesn't make the bargains worth it, IMHO!

Since DS was born, I do a lot less bargain hunting. Dragging two kids from store to store is NOT worth it for me-- I'd rather pay a few cents more on some items and save the hassle of two carseats.

I pretty much pick one store-- Meijer, typically-- and just stock up on what they have on sale and use my coupons (they double) there. It works for me. I figure that eventually I'll have time/energy to go to more stores, but not for a while!

As for the formula... I've also been told that babies can't have honey. But, my doc said it was OK to switch brands of formula, and my son is even on special preemie high-calorie stuff. She said that it was all very similar and most of the time kids can switch without problems. There are only two brands of preemie formula that I'm aware of, and we've used both depending on coupons/sales. I see nothing wrong with trying a cheaper brand if your baby can take it... it's SO expensive!

**julieb** · 04-17-2007, 08:08 PM

I can relate to your frustration. When I decided to start couponing I decided on one store. I was not going to run all over chasing a bargain. I am still a failure at couponing but I think I can get better at it.

**Libby** · 04-17-2007, 08:12 PM

As stated in another thread - Im not a big couponer nor do coupons have the 'power' here in Canada as it does down in the US. But do not give up. I was gonna suggest trying to streamline your shopping trip vs going all over and running yourself ragged.

Go through the flyers and clip your coupons for what you would use and not what you think you may use. Attach em to your grocery list based on ONE store that offers the most things needed from your list that is on sale. If you have time/patience - create a price book or as Amy does, pick one store that has the most reasonable prices for what you're looking for. I used to do this. Each week or every 2nd week when it was time to shop - Id go to the one store that could offer me the most bang for my buck! And if there were two stores - Id drive so that itd be on the way to one store or on the way home from another. The best bonus was when they were side by side.

Time, effort and energy wasted does not equal savings. Take things slowly and tweak your plan for what works best for you.

**Michelle68** · 04-17-2007, 09:01 PM

I don't coupon regularly because 1.) none of the stores around here double coupons, and 2.) I'm already pretty busy so I find that my time is worth more than the few cents I would save.(I find that buying generic generally saves us more money, anyway.) Don't beat yourself up ans stress yourself out about couponing and playing the grocery game. It sounds like you're pretty busy yourself with a baby to take care of and all that running around is just going to make you crazy. Take a deep breath, slow down and just do the best you can.

--Michelle

**lukesmama** · 04-17-2007, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by OzFreeBird

Men are such simple creatures, at any age in life

...agreed!!!

**lukesmama** · 04-17-2007, 09:56 PM

Originally Posted by frugalwanttobe

I found that when I stopped doing the grocery game I had more food in my house and more time with my family. It takes a lot of time to do all of that bargain shopping. Also we like real food not processed. I do buy some processed foods but it is probably less than 10% of my order. I would rather buy fruits, vegetables and meat than Mrs. Paul's fishsticks and Hot Pockets. If I buy prepared foods I try to buy foods without any food coloring. Children do not need food coloring and neither do adults. This is just my opinion but to sum it all up my family is healthier and we have more money in the bank now and I have more time to cut corners elsewhere since I am no longer a player in the game.

Before I go away...another tip I have for you is....only cut coupons that you use...not something that you think you are going to use....what happens is you become so overwhelmed that you don't even use the coupons that are a sure thing for your family.

Please do not give your baby honey. I believe under a certain age it is a no-no. I never messed around with formula. I bought only name brands that I was sure of. I feel baby formula, dog food and cat food should be high quality brands. If you figure babies, who are not breastfed, their main source of nourishment is from one thing, formula, it should be a good one. It is not like children and adults who eat a variety of foods and not one base food. Dogs and cats same thing, sure we give them scraps, or I do at least but most of their nourishment comes from one source. It should be a good source, all natural.

This is just my opinion.

Those are excellent points. I really should stop saving every coupon that I *might* use if the item went on sale, and focus on, like you said, sure things.

I'm not even going to try the other formula again...my baby apparently is a formula snob.

**lukesmama** · 04-17-2007, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by julieb

I can relate to your frustration. When I decided to start couponing I decided on one store. I was not going to run all over chasing a bargain. I am still a failure at couponing but I think I can get better at it.

That's exactly what I'm going to have to do. We don't have any double coupon stores here anymore so coupons aren't a huge savings for me. Every bit counts, though.

WM does price match and is only about 1 mile from my house, so I usually wind up there by default. Unfortunately, I prefer produce and meat from another store. I was shopping at both (the other store is expensive on everything else, so it's almost exclusively just for meat and produce for me) and then I discovered Super Target (and their online coupons). Then I started rebate-ing at Rite Aid and Walgreens.

Before I knew it, I was at 5 stores each week. UGH.

Rebates gotta go for now...okay, unless it's free. (See what a junkie I am?)

Other than that, I think I'll try alternating stores each week. One week do my meat/produce for 2 weeks or more. The next week, do WM or Target, depending on which will work out better with coupons or price matching that particular week. And just try not to quibble over a few pennies here and there, I guess. I gotta be frugal with my time, too.

I'm happy to see I'm not alone. Thanks to all of y'all for helping me think this through. My husband would think I was crazy if I went to him with my "I'm at a crossroads with my bargain hunting" drama.

**OzFreeBird** · 04-17-2007, 10:46 PM

Originally Posted by OzFreeBird

how about putting a tiny smidgin of honey (1/2 teaspoonful)

Yep I knew that would cause a stir. I was trying to think of a natural sweetener that wasn't plain old white sugar. We grow stevia plant here, which is a natural fructose sugar used by diabetics, but I doubt you can get it in the States in any large quantities. Its a subtropical plant and very hard to grow.

Diluting your old formula with the new formula is a far more sensible suggestion. Why didn't I think of that?

Probably because I typed my last post too early in the morning (our time) lol....

Anyway good luck and let us know how you get on!

**lukesmama** · 04-17-2007, 11:13 PM

Originally Posted by OzFreeBird

Yep I knew that would cause a stir. I was trying to think of a natural sweetener that wasn't plain old white sugar. We grow stevia plant here, which is a natural fructose sugar used by diabetics, but I doubt you can get it in the States in any large quantities. Its a subtropical plant and very hard to grow.

Diluting your old formula with the new formula is a far more sensible suggestion. Why didn't I think of that?

Probably because I typed my last post too early in the morning (our time) lol....

Anyway good luck and let us know how you get on!

That's all right, I appreciate your suggestions! My little one is just so fussy anyway (we've switched formula 3 previous times in his young life because he had colic and reflux and nothing seemed to "sit" well) that I think maybe I should just leave well enough alone. Guess I'll eat the $12 for the open can, return the two unopened, and the last unopened (which would be a free one, since they were buy one get one) will go to the church food pantry.

Not sure what I was thinking. (Oh yeah, I was thinking - buy one get one FREE!)

At least someone will benefit from my mistake...

**Leahmom** · 04-23-2007, 08:45 PM

Hi.
Another tip if you wish.
Use an envelope to write your list. Everyitem that you have a coupon for write a Star next to it. Next to star write amt of coupon as in -45C or 2/-35C. Place $ or CC or checkbook inside the envelope. Put the coupons you've starred into the envelope. So when you shop you lineout what you buy. When you get to the register you have to take payment and the coupons are right there.
As you shop you might have a item with -45 coupon listed on your shop list, yet when you get to the aisle it is so easy to see-hey store brand is 10 c. cheaper that the other with the coupon. So at that point-pull coupon and put cheaper item in cart.
This system allows better planning and the ability to spot cheaper bargains. It is really really really hard to shop with tiny kids and keep your head together. Do all of your planning at your kitchen table. it helps
I also wrote a post will try to link it to you about the basics of grocery shopping...hope it helps [ame="http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80419"]http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80419[/ame]
Leahmom