Comments from a friend, really bugs me!

**baxjul** · 08-12-2007, 04:38 PM

A friend just stopped over to drop off one of my baking dishes she borrowed. Anyways, she used the bathroom. After she came out she said "Gee, Bill must make a lot of money". I said, "Why"? She said, Your bathroom counter is full of expesive stuff, all I can afford is the cheap cleansers, etc."

Anyway I have Clinique facial care (series), Stila lip gloss, and Avon beComing makeup and facial care. The thing is, I got all of it free! Or really cheap! I just let her keep thinking we had money...

Does anyone ever make comments like this to you?

**AmyMCGS** · 08-12-2007, 04:42 PM

The comments I get are about our house-- we built it, so therefore we must be rich. Nevermind the hard work and the frugal ways that we use to pay for it, people frequently make comments about us being "rich" and it drives me absolutely crazy-- we make less than many of these same people, we just choose to use our money differently than they do.

I tell them about our bargain shopping and coupons and whatever else is appropriate. I like to make them see that they could do this, too, if they really wanted to. I don't lecture or anything, but I'm offended by those kind of comments since we work very hard for what we have.

**YankeeMom** · 08-12-2007, 05:02 PM

That was incredibly rude! I don't often get comments like that. Usually it's a family member who is always pointing out things I could buy or do...it's kind of annoying because I'm trying not to spend our money and here she is trying to spend it for me lol.

BTW, my dh's name is Bill too

**Jaded** · 08-12-2007, 05:04 PM

Once when I was working as a legal secretary with two kids to support by myself, I lucked up on the BEST Salvation Army store, right on the border of a really rich section of town. They had designer clothes for almost nothing! I bought a lot of clothes and shoes there, and one day one of the girls at work told me they had been talking, and they wanted to know how much I was paid. I told them I couldn't tell them that, and they knew it, but why were they asking. They said it was because of my clothes, that they couldn't afford clothes like that, and they wanted to know how I could. I just laughed my ass off, and said "We need to go shopping!" I took them to my favorite store, and then ALL of us laughed and dressed well.

**brenda67** · 08-12-2007, 05:19 PM

Quite honestly I would just chuckle to myself.....I have friends that think cause we have a $1000.00 saved that we must be rich..I call it living below our means and never paying full price for anything...

**FrugalMomof3** · 08-12-2007, 07:07 PM

I get those comments all the time, I do have expensive makeup items but if anyone has ever read any of my previous posts, I shop at flea markets, yard sales, etc... I NEVER pay full price for makeup UNLESS someone gives me a GC to that store or the department store with a makeup store in it. People always think we have so much money but I dont want to give away my secrets all the time, lol... I just laugh behind their back and think "Yeah right!".

**frugalfarmwife** · 08-12-2007, 07:41 PM

Hubbies whole family thinks we're secretly wealthy and MEAN not to share, lol, all because we have the farm, ummm, we've busted our BUTTS to get here and I've said more than once we'll eat ramen noodles a LOT if we have to to finish paying for it.

LOL, them thinking I'm from a wealthy family, no I've just got a really smart thrify mama that taught me the ways!

kj

**redhead68** · 08-12-2007, 08:29 PM

Just smile graciously. There's really no dignified response to such a comment.

**Mamaw** · 08-12-2007, 08:35 PM

No one should be commenting or checking out your items in the bath room anyway! Just smile and redirect the conversation.

**Libby** · 08-12-2007, 08:36 PM

I think its very rude. I mean you did let her use your loo but to come out making delusional statements? C'mon man...she shouldnt judge w/o knowing all the facts. Sheeesh!

Just b/c you have name brand items doesnt meant you didnt get them for free as a gift, or at a huge discount or bothered to save up for them. Who knows - maybe you have very sensitive skin that cant tolerate the everyday average brand of face wash and lotions etc.

My gf's know I LOOOOVE Bath & Body Works so ALL my bodywashes, bodysprays and lotions/creams are from there w/o question. My bathroom can look like I bought and brought the store home with me. Do I go across the states and buy every weekend, um no. And they know I stock up when I do go across b/c I dont cross often and know that I do save up just to shop at that one store

. Plus when they cross they ask if I want anything or save up and get me gifts from there.

I guess thats the difference between a friend and an aquaintance.

I know this post comes off as heated as it does irritate me at how some people can just 'assume' things but she could've worded it differently and better as well.

**baxjul** · 08-12-2007, 08:44 PM

Good, I'm glad I'm not just overly sensitive!

**frugalfarmwife** · 08-12-2007, 10:21 PM

Naww, you're not overly sensitive, you're FRUGAL and know how to do it right

Sometimes people just don't realize how tacky AND how wrong they are

kj

**MermaidMom** · 08-12-2007, 11:42 PM

I get so sick of all the secrecy about money. I'd be tempted to say, "Well Bill makes X amount per year and I make XX. I'm not sure if you'd consider that rich or not." I think the fact that you just came out with actual real numbers might shock them into shutting up.

**sophie2** · 08-13-2007, 07:19 AM

For us, it's different. People think we are poor. lol Because we have a small and old house and we have nothing in the house which seems of value. but we do have savings in our bank account and our house and car is paid.

It's facinating how people judge by what they see....

**bee9984** · 08-13-2007, 08:31 AM

About 4 months ago I had a friend who called me up on the phone one day and asked me what dh and my "secret" was. I said our what? lol. She said that her and her husband noticed that we are never broke, meaning they were living from pay to pay and dh and I wasn't. Eg: When school fees came up for dds school we paid cash right away where they and other people either wrote post dated cheques or just didn't pay until they finally had the money. We have a house and they are renting. She said that she knew people who were making $100,000 plus with no kids and they were always broke living from pay to pay and renting. We don't make that amount of money which she knew as I told her what we were bringing in for an income.

Anyhow, I told her that we used to live that way too up until about 3 or 4 years ago. She wanted me to sit down with her and explain our "secret".

It really wasn't that difficult to explain and certainly was no secret , I told her that we havn't had a car payment for almost 6 years I think it is now, pay cash for our needs, never write cheques (not writing a cheque was another big help to us). When buying groceries I focus more on the loss leaders and stock up when possible. We have a change jar, baby emergency fund, freedom account etc..and have the moto in which I read that Suze Orman had said and made alot of sense " If I have to Finance it, I can't afford it." (except for our mortgage.)

The hardest part for us was getting into the habit of Not Living From Pay to Pay but we would focus/try one thing at a time for no less than 3 pays or 6 weeks, if it worked for us great, if not we moved on to another idea.

I filled her in on a few other frugal/money ideas too, she has tried some but of course not all lol.

Although now, we have to start over in the savings department as 3 months ago we bought an investment property and then we just sold our "now" house and are moving to a new to us house. But in saying that, our bills are paid in full each month like hydro,phone etc...we are never hungry either and have "More than Enough" lol.