My son asked me a funny thing tonite!

**IntlMom** · 08-12-2007, 10:35 PM

So what would you all have said?
My son who is 9, asked me tonite, "Mom, why ARE you such a "cheapo-depo?" I added the emphasis, cause it was kind of a: yeah, mom, why are you really the big fat cheapskate that you are?" kind of question? He wasn't being rude, it was more of a: I really want to know, why are you/we really as cheap/frugal as we are. I told him about how we can make money go further..... if you use a b1g1f coupon, you can have twice as many for the same money.....is the item one you need, or just want, and let's wait till it goes on sale......we also talked about the value of the item. I said that I would be more inclinded to pay a price for a good book, than a video game that has no value for you.....
So here's the question: How would you answer it? This is my son that is smart way beyond his years.....but lacks the common sense of a kid half his age.

**frugalfarmwife** · 08-12-2007, 10:45 PM

Oh my, don't you love the pickle kids can put you in? Hmm, you could tell him that you're NOT cheap, just smart with money to make it go further. Maybe make a learning experience out of it for him, figure a wage and have him figure out how long he'd have to work for something at the regular price VS with a coupon

kj

**PrairieRose** · 08-13-2007, 08:10 AM

I think your explanation was a good one. I would do something along the same lines that Kj suggested above. I'd give him $5 and take him to his favorite store. Tell him that he can spend the money on something of his choice but he must get the 'best value' for his money. Be prepared for this to take a while b/c I have an idea light bulbs will be popping all around for him.....I raised some really smart kids as well and common sense is more of a 'cultivated' characteristic in my humble opinion.

**PrairieRose** · 08-13-2007, 08:11 AM

On second thought, I'd tell him that he could spend his $5 on whatever he wanted OR if he would shop for the best value you would match his $5, thus making it go twice as far. I have an idea he'll get 'it' after this lesson.

**accountantbyday** · 08-13-2007, 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

On second thought, I'd tell him that he could spend his $5 on whatever he wanted OR if he would shop for the best value you would match his $5, thus making it go twice as far. I have an idea he'll get 'it' after this lesson.

This was how I explained it to my daughter, but I actually showed her at the store instead, to make it more real.

She wound up saving the money anyways, I guess she really gets it!

**Darlene** · 08-13-2007, 08:38 AM

Good answer. I started giving my kids the buy one get one free coupons for candybars when they were little. They cought on fast that coupons can give you double the enjoyment or help you save money towards something else. Some of their friends would tease them about using coupons, but they let them know that they were the ones who should be embarassed buy paying more money for things than they had to.

**Lorelei** · 08-13-2007, 10:25 AM

I usually answer my kids' questions about frugality about the way you did. So far it seems to have worked - my oldest buys his own clothes (I pay him back if they are suitable for school and within the allowed price range) and he is very good at buying sale items. He also thinks through buying decisions, and while I wouldn't spend money on many of the items he does, I must say he prioritizes his spending and rarely wastes it buying things that don't meet his goals.

**Dancing Lotus** · 08-13-2007, 10:32 AM

I really like the idea of haveing your kids buy there own clothes and if they met your criteria you will pay them back for it. This will teach them to spend there money wisely. My dd is 5 and she hasnt asked me about being cheap but she is smart with her allowence. I give her two dollars a week and most of the time she puts the entire 2bucks in her piggy and sometimes she spits in in half. Its her choice but she is required to save some of it. She is saveing for a trampolean.

**lisettelovebug** · 08-13-2007, 11:23 AM

My 9 year old son is like that too. Smart as a whip, especially math, but when it comes to commom sense and using his head - it doesn't happen much... lol. Hopefully he will gain some more common sense as he gets older...

He has also asked me about being frugal / cheap. I think he may be starting to understand a little now that dh is on strike and the money is significanlty reduced. He'll bring me coupons out of those red coupon holders at the stores now. He knows we use coupons for as much as we can and saw how much it can help just last week (our grocery bill was orginally $76 but after coupons it went down to $60). At least he's stopped saying... "well you can just get it out of the atm / put it on (debit) card / write a check". There for a while I don't think he understood that you had to have money in the bank to be able to do those things.
Lisette

**Jerseygirl** · 08-13-2007, 01:08 PM

I think explaining how long you have to work to be able to pay the bills, then how much you have to work for each of the extras is a good way of putting things into perspective. Mommy has to work 35 hours per week to pay rent etc. Mommy has to work 3 more hours to pay for that video game, to really make the point they can do 3 hour of work to earn... ya see?

**Edna_E** · 08-13-2007, 08:55 PM

I like your explanation. I think my son was born a tightwad, he certainly understood how to haggle by the time he was 5 (and he did NOT learn that from me) and has wanted to play the "What would you do if you won the lottery?" game on road trips for as long as I can remember.

**frugalityisgood** · 08-13-2007, 09:08 PM

Take him to Wal-Mart and tell him, find what you buy for $5.00. Then take him over to Dollar Tree and tell him, see what you can buy for $5.00. I think when he walks out of Wal-Mart with one item in a sack, then walks out of Dollar Tree with 5 items in a sack. I think he'll immediately understand, this is why mom is frugal. She can get more things for the same amount of money.

Then you could continue to add on to it. For instance show him the value of a coupon. Let him buy something without a coupon. Then let him buy something with a coupon. I think once he sees, he has more money left over after the coupon, he'll start getting it.

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

I think your explanation was a good one. I would do something along the same lines that Kj suggested above. I'd give him $5 and take him to his favorite store. Tell him that he can spend the money on something of his choice but he must get the 'best value' for his money. Be prepared for this to take a while b/c I have an idea light bulbs will be popping all around for him.....I raised some really smart kids as well and common sense is more of a 'cultivated' characteristic in my humble opinion.

**claimsgirl66** · 08-13-2007, 09:13 PM

Good tips....another explanation is Mommy thinks it is kind of a fun game to see how much she can buy with the $$$.
I think Amy D. in the Tightwad Gazette also brought up the recycling/create less waste angle to tell her kids. Alot of aware kids can understand this too. Helping save the earth is a hot topic.

**frugalityisgood** · 08-13-2007, 09:16 PM

I think it's genetic. Consider it a gift.

Originally Posted by Edna_E

I like your explanation. I think my son was born a tightwad, he certainly understood how to haggle by the time he was 5 (and he did NOT learn that from me) and has wanted to play the "What would you do if you won the lottery?" game on road trips for as long as I can remember.

**littlemotherhaywood** · 08-14-2007, 12:34 PM

My dd has never asked but we do discuss it often. When we were back home this summer we did some tax free school clothes shopping and hit the sale of the year. One the way out I asked her how she perceived what she got (since all of it was on the clearance rack and we used a discount coupon). She definitely understands the concept that she can get more for less and she's been a clearance rack shopper since she started walking, lol. I'm sure that probably had something to do with the fact that the only rack I'll shop is clearance, but she seems to get it. She loves to use coupons and I always take the time when the opportunity arises to explain the way different expenses work. Last spring she wanted to understand how writing checks work and I gave her a lesson on negative numbers. They haven't learned that there are negative numbers in school yet so it was quite eye opening for her. I had to explain that the paper could never equal more than what was in the bank and also how if it did, there were additional fees and consequences and thus, whatever was so important cost a lot more than it should have.