Feeling totally burned out.

[mommy4ever]

I've got a full dayhome(home daycare). I feel so overwhelmed! I'm so tired of doing it. It doesn't seem to make much difference in our budget lately. The more I make, the more dh spends it seems.

So I'm really contemplating quitting. Well almost. Part of what bothers me, is my baby starts school next fall. And I've only ever had 3 months alone with her, other than her first few months. She's big enough now to do activities, but it is sooo hard because I have to drag 3 toddlers along. She does dance once a week, and it's exhausting to have the 3 extras with me. I would love to do swim lessons with her, but I can't because I can't go in the water.

I have to bring 3 extras to every dentist appt for my older kids, it's just getting to be too much.

Really, I'd love to even go to the gym during the day, but can't because i have 3 extra, I can't do evenings as my own kids have activities. So my membership is going to waste.

I have a family that is consistently late, so I can't book dentist appt for myself, nor dr. appt because they close at 7, adn if the family is late, Im' late.

SOOO... I'm considering, contacting a past family that wanted 2 afternoons a week for their 2 kids. This would almost cover all the utilities. Dh can cover the rest easily on his income and still have $$ for a few extras. That would give me mornings.

I have another family that i watch one morning a month free. In exchange for them watching mine on occasion....

I'd be fine with one morning and 2 afternoons a week.

What i"m considerring, is taking on 2 house cleaning clients. This would give me about the same as caring for 1 child full time for a month at 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. I would need to arrange for the little one to have care those 2 days, but I'm thinking I can arrange with the family that I watch for free, for those 8 hours a week, and with the other family to be back up when needed. So I'd be making about 2/3 of what I'm currently making and only 2 full days a week.

Then when summer hits, my older kids should be able to stay on their own 2 mornings a week, then come next fall I can increase it to 3 or 4 mornings a week, and be back up to what i"m making now but only working 4 hours a day, and have free afternoons with my little one 3 days a week, and shared 2 days a week.

Does that make sense? Or am I in lalala land?

Does that sound unrea

[frugal-fannie]

I can see your point. It is really hard to do things like pay off debt,when your spouse is doing his own thing. Have you talked to him about non impulse spending. Like if it is ok for him to spend the money if all the debts are paid off and you save up for the item and you get the same amount for your own discretion.

[Holly]

Sounds great to me. You have to do what you feel is right for you and yours.

[annymoll]

I don't know how the daycare ladies do it. You are so organized.I babysit one day a week for my grandson- it's "Rollarcoaster of Love".Sounds like you have a plan.It does not sound unreasonable.

[mommy4ever]

I just spoke to the gal who would watch my little one, and she's cool with it. I really hesitate to ask her because she left here on medical leave. She has MS. however, I know her pattern. She is fine, high energy until she goes back to work full time. That was what was burning her out. It wouldn't be long there, just a few months, then we'll have the teen home through the summer and it would be done. Plus I would plan for back up in case she's not doing so well. Not a big deal. The other family wasn't in, or was still sleeping...hehe.

I think in some ways it would be very good for DD4 to go, she'll play with some one close to her age, and give her a little space from me. It might only need to be one morning a week, if I plan for one day to be MOndays, because dh is home on Mondays. I'd rather we spend it together though..lol. Enjoying the little one.

I'm having a really really really hard time with her going to school next fall. She's our last, and I'm going to miss her so much, so these couple mornings will help me too.

[lwlynch]

Been there and I am still doing it with watching kids. Been a big rollercoaster for years. I am now starting to make better use of my time. Like my idea for a parents night. I would make as much in 3 hours as I would watching one kid. Plus afterschool kids are a quick plus.
I am sure you will figure it out. But I feel for you.

[mommy4ever]

I don't do evenings, as I have 3 kids that play ice sports, and one in dance, so we're really busy during non-school hours. I'm burned out with that too, I need a break, and i"m not getting one at all.

[celina]

i too quit my home daycare, my kids were with me all day but i felt like i barely talked to them, i was always so focussed on the "paying" kids...since i quit money is tons better, i save more and spend less...i was going through a loaf a bread and over a galon of milk a day and it affected our income taxes..

[mommy4ever]

Well, we decided to start the transition. I spoke with dh. I'm giving a letter of termination the one family that at this point is the cause of most of my stress. He's done in 2 weeks. I'm keeping the others.

I spoke to the one family that needed part time care, and we discussed the possibilities, and it seems they'll start soon, I'll get confirmation later today. We'll try that for a bit. If that works well for me, I'll continue until the little one goes to school. And then do just the part time family. and start building a cleaning business for myself. Dh is all for me doing only a few afternoons with kids, then I can help at kindergarten, and he agrees we need to taper spending. So with any luck this one family gone, will help me feel more relaxed and continue with being home.

If not, I do have care lined up for my little one and I'll start my new venture sooner.

[Jessesbride]

I watched a very attatched at the hip little one yr old for a few months and realized that that was not for me! I am now doing childcare during the week at my church. There are also Mommy day out programs at other area churches if I wanted to pick up even more income. It works great for me as I am able to walk to work (thus getting exercise while saving gas!). or if I want to drive it takes about 2 minutes tops! Mommy day out programs (several of my friends do) and they can take their little ones w/them and still earn a nice salary but only do it while the older kids are in school AND have time to get home before the older ones do! Plus it gets them outta the house and not being "stuck in a rut"... you might try something like that!

Also, talk to your hubby... let him know how much this is stressing you out! YOu are a team & you need to figure out how to do this as a team (before you hit the fan and tell everyone lump it cuz you quit! or before you sick enough of the issue that it TRULY MAKES you sick and lays you out!). Hope this helps!

Kim

[mommy4ever]

We did talk, and the main problem child is leaving in 2 weeks! For all I know tomorrow if they don't take the notice well. But I'm at wits end. I really enjoy the one little guy, he's a darling. The other one is ok, he can be a lot of fun. But this one I can't bond with, he whines, he wants up ALL the time.

So he's going, being replaced with my part timers. one is a year older than him so it'll free up a lot of energy.

Dh agrees we need to get some stuff paid off pronto, (BTW paid an extra $600 this month!!). And then with a little focus and some luck, maybe I won't need to do care at all next year. I think I'll keep the part timers so I can have some extra cash to pay for sports etc.

He knows it's getting to me. Now to get HIS spending in check. I just spent money on a jacket, I had to convince myself for 2 weeks. I froze in my old one already and we haven't really had winter. So I did end up buying a good one, but I feel so guilty, even though I earned $160 in selling used clothes and tires this week, I spent less than that on the coat, I still feel guilty.

Mom's burdens, eh?

[mommy4ever]

YAYAY!!

We made arrangements, the new family is starting soon. That's a go. All I need to do is give the notice to the other family. I hate doing it, but I either let him go or close altogether leaving 3 families in a lurch.

[my4littlebuffaloes]

It sounds like you have a good plan. Actually have you thought of increasing the part time daycare? here in the US, at least in CO, most places and home daycares charged full time for part time care. If you could build a business of part time care (trying to schedule them on the same days, so maybe you only work 2 or 3 days a week) then you would still make money, have more time off for you and your family and probably have a waiting list of people that want to use you. Good luck!
Jennifer

[Dancing Lotus]

Let us know how they take the bad news. When times get tuff I think about doing home daycare and then I have to remind myself of why I dont want to do home daycare. Thanks for my reminder>LOL I hope it all works out for you.

[shoiji]

It sounds as if you have a plan. Understand being burned out. It is really good you are able to change your plans. Being burned out is really not good for you or anyone else.

So good for you!