Letting go of some frugality to regain some sanity

[acidcookie]

This past semester of school was the hardest ever. It's my 3rd year in grad school, but the 1st one that left me constantly feeling stressed and not in control.

It has been busier than others, but I honestly think a quest for frugality has something to do with it. I think I used up too much time making things myself, doing things the long and hard way, etc. I just don't have the TIME to fix everything myself, make my own bread, shop several grocery stores, track down deals, and go on a long hunt for something free.

I think I'll have to give up some of these things just so I can regain some sanity! I need to focus on the effortless aspects of frugality, things that don't take more time. For instance, trying to make my own bag/clothing/whatever=effort and time! Buying generic instead of name brand=effortless.

One thing I've done is already left all the survey sites except Pinecone. Those were taking a lot of time for not a lot of reward. I also won't actively seek out sales, just take advantage of ones I come across. I think the most important thing I can do is NOT buy things. I don't know how many times I wasted a ton of time on some thing or plan that might have saved me money but just caused a whole bunch of hassle.

Anyway, just wanted to share. Has anyone else had this experience? How do you find the balance between spending time and spending money?

[nodmicks]

Acidcookie I think that sounds very reasonable. I don't do some frugal things because they are not worth the ime to me. It is all about balance and what works for you.

[momishem]

I hear you! I think it can be taken to the extreme and I commend you for seeing that and speaking out. I think is is such a personal choice. I think you can be frugal, but not necessarily all consumed by frugality. Just my 2cents worth.

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Acidcookie I think that sounds very reasonable. I don't do some frugal things because they are not worth the ime to me. It is all about balance and what works for you.

I agree... Like whether or not I make our bread depends on how I'm set for time. Whether I cook from scratch or we have something (storebought, but cheap) from the freezer also is based on how much time.

Sounds like you've been pushing yourself too hard... Ease off a bit and find that "happy medium".

[AmyBoz]

I absolutely understand what you are saying. My schedule is crazy as well and there are definitely things that I could do that I don't because it's worth it to me to have a little extra time for myself or with my family and not be spending that time on frugality.

For example, I don't wash or re-use Baggies. To save money, I did buy those little Ziploc sandwich containers. I had to buy them, but it's worth it to me not to have to spend the time washing out Baggies. I also buy Reynolds parchment paper for baking and cooking instead of using reusable parchment paper (although I'm rethinking this because of the waste.)

I use disposable diapers, and although I line dry many items, I use the dryer on dh's work clothes so that I don't have to spend time ironing them.

I'm too busy to shop, so that's a good thing, but there are many great deals that I pass on simply because I'd rather be playing with my kids than standing in line at a store. Do I pay for it in the end? Sometimes I certainly kick myself, but then I remember what I was doing instead and it's worth it.

[frugal-fannie]

I agree that you are expecting too much of yourself. I also think you have to adjust for the learning curve. When baking, and cooking from scratch after you have done it many times you get faster and find ways to get it done around your schedule. I also find markdown bread and pies almost cheaper than I can make them, so I buy markdowns a lot of the time.

[tbs727]

I'm in the same boat. I have gotten rid of the little things that take up my time but don't make much difference financially.

[DixieJ]

I think everyone has to figure out what works for them. My time is limited as well so I had to figure out what works for me.

Dixie Jean

[mikandmari]

When I was first married I was frugal because I had no choice.... I had no money! Things got better financially, the kids kept me busy, and I wasted money like any good American . Recently I've returned to frugality because now I have the time on my hands to really make a difference in my wallet!

So it may be a good idea to give some things up now, because getting that education is first priority. You can always decide later to pick those habits back up, if it becomes worthwhile based on your time. It will come back to you more naturally than someone who has never even attempted to be frugal (and we all know a few of them!).

[JanieD]

I understand what you mean. I miss a lot of bargains because I don't want to spend the time shopping at 2 or more grocery stores. Lately I just shop at the nearest grocery store which can be much more expensive. I do watch what I'm buying when I'm there. The other stores are 15-20 minutes away, that's more gas & time. So, I'm trying to shop the other stores just once a month & stock up.

I love the "effortless" aspect you mentioned. I think we need to make adjustments/trade offs to being frugal when life gets busier. It feels like a step back, but its just being smart if you ask me. Being frugal isn't much fun if its causing a lot of extra stress.

[forHISglory]

Your situation in life calls the shots at times. When I was in grad school, I practiced a certain type of frugalilty. When I landed my first teaching job, I practiced a different type. As a young married, still a different and so forth. The addition of kids, changes in jobs...... it all adds up to different situations.

My frugalness is not someone else's frugalness. We may have the same general goals: financial freedom, ability to chase dreams and so forth. But our methods can certainly be different; in fact, they must be different.

I applaud you for thinking carefully about your situation and taking steps to reach your goals. I wish you the best in grad school.

[lukesmama]

Acidcookie, I totally agree with you and have gone through this same realization in the last year. I spent a lot of time acquiring coupons, comparison shopping, sending in rebates, etc. when I really think I could have done much better on our budget by just not shopping so much and focusing on purchasing more generics. Our groceries last year were out of control...and that's with me putting forth all that effort most of the year. This year I'm backing off and just buying what we need, trying to eat more frugally, and will see where this gets us by the end of the year. I'm willing to bet we'll be much better off for it.

Similarly, I stopped wasting hours and gas trying to find a bargain on the children's sales racks (yay...another $3 shirt that will fit Luke in about two years, and hopefully I won't hate this style by then) and instead put specific clothing items on my children's Christmas lists. It worked, and cut back on the number of cluttery toys we got for Christmas, too.

[PrairieRose]

I think living the best life in general is all about balance. You are very busy and stressed right now. If I were you I'd be looking at ways to simplify and try to be frugal while making simple the goal. I can totally understand not doing most of the things you do, in fact I'm a stay at home wife, no kids and I don't feel like I have that much time to do the things you mentioned. It's really about priorities and being fully aware of where the money is going. No guilt for not doing the most basic things like sewing and cooking from scratch. For some, those things are simply not practical whatsoever. You're gonna be done with school oneday and then you'll be busy with a career . It's all good.

[emily_hope]

Being frugal isn't much fun if its causing a lot of extra stress.

That about sums it up for me. There are things I am frugal on and other things that I am not. I think you have to adjust and find what works for you. Getting a sale item plus a coupon at the grocery store and maybe even getting the item free is a big high for me and I enjoy it. And I like to cut open lotion bottles and toothpaste tubes and see how much farther I can go. I find that interesting. I do try to keep the lights turned off as much as possible, just because it seems so wasteful otherwise. Now for the other side, I can not stand to be cold, so I do not turn my heat down very low. I do wear sweats and socks and warm clothing around the house, but being comfortable is important to me and I would give up eating to have my heat on LOL!

[shoiji]

I was just thinking about this today. Things for me are starting to get busier with the volunteering.

Anyway I had told myself when I reached a specific weight I would treat myself to breakfast at a diner. Well I reached the goal but decided to just make breakfast instead of spending $8.00 on breakfast. So I think I will treat myself anyway since I am not saving money just to save it.

I don't think I am as die hard about being frugal as other people. I have learned valuable information and look forward to learning more. Right now I am still trying to find a balance.