Define your version of "a frugal lifestyle"

**Daisygirl** · 01-28-2008, 02:06 PM

I think we noticed recently here on our forums some different versions of the term "frugal lifestyle." I thought it would be an interesting discussion to hear everyone's personal definition of their own "frugal lifestyle" and what goal that lifestyle is meant to achieve for them.

Me first, me first!

For me, a frugal lifestyel was a conscious change from the people I saw around me. It was saving money on things that were less important to give myself more to spend on things that are more important. For example, I spend less on groceries and eating out so I can spend more on gymnastics lessons for my daughters. It was about spending less on the everyday things so that I would no longer have to scramble to meet my bills when the credit card, robbing-peter-to-pay-paul walls came tumbling down. I wanted to draw back from some, but not all, of the rampant consumerism around me. I took the time to learn the difference between a need, a sorta-want, and a want-with-all-my-heart-want.

The goal is that sigh of relief I felt today when I was able to pay cash for the repair on my furnace without missing out on anything else - we still have food in the house, gas in the car, and money in the bank. The goal, all in all is freedom from worry.

**changed4life** · 01-28-2008, 02:30 PM

Good for you, Karen. You're doing great for yourself and your girls.

For me, frugality did not come from a need to conserve, whittle away at the budget or change our lifestyle because of financial difficulty. Of course, we have to watch our expenditures and our money does not grow on trees, but I felt if all the bills were paid, we were eating well and going out when we wanted then why worry.

I decided that just because I have the money doesn't mean I have to spend it anywhere I want. I used to get my nails done, hair colored, spa dates, breakfasts/lunches out with ladies, shopping for the sake of shopping.

I began to realize that there were many things I could cut back on and still enjoy the blessings God gave me in a simpler way. I see these expenditures as budget busters now, because that money is much better in an account for our future or used toward my Dave Ramsey goals of being financially independent in the future. We still enjoy our lives, but we are much more conscious of where the money goes.

Money is a priviledge and a gift and I have learned to treat it with special care before it leaves my hands.

I now reuse bags, diligently use leftovers, say no to my kids more than I used to and have detached from materialism drastically. So much so, that I don't enjoy hanging out with women who only talk about the next Coach handbag they're buying. It's all so superficial and shallow. I was never comfortable with that type of focus anyway and was always quite different than the next woman on the block, but now it just turns me off.

Frugality means simplifying, knowing what it a need and a want and purchasing those wants with a level head on my shoulders. It also means no credit card debt whatsoever which we have recently wiped clean in the last year.

**McD** · 01-28-2008, 02:36 PM

I am exactly like you Karen.

I scrimp in many areas so that I can save in others. I cut my grocery costs, clothing costs, my electric bill, my water bill, so that we can spend and save our money where we wish. I love taking Wesley to the zoo and it's kinda expensive, but it's not something I am willing to give up. I scrimp in some areas so I can splurge in others.

**AmyMCGS** · 01-28-2008, 04:57 PM

For us, it's saving money on things WE consider less important (not judging anyone else) and putting our priorities (built our dream house) first. Our priority was building this house exactly how we wanted it, and now not having any debt outside of our mortgage.

My biggest pet peeve is having people (family!) make snarky remarks about how "rich" we are because we have a big house. No, we're not rich-- we work hard for this! We have Aldi brand groceries in the pantry, Goodwill clothes in our closets, and we save money in every way we can so that we can afford & enjoy our home. We have relatives who can't pay their bills, yet go on fancy vacations and buy name brand clothes. I just don't understand them!

P.S. Don't get the wrong idea... LOL... we're not living in a mansion or anything, it's just that it's brand new and a little bigger than average for our area. After I re-read my post I realized that might not be coming off the way I meant it!

**peanut** · 01-28-2008, 05:12 PM

I came at frugality from partly panic, but also a realization there was a lot more to life than spending money to acquire things I just had to take time to take care of! I was panicking because I was diagnosed with an illness that meant I, in all probability, was not going to work again. DH and I had counted on me being able to work once the girls were done homeschooling. That was not to be...

But what frugality has done for me is give me freedom from worry about money. I know we will manage. We won't be rich, but we will be able to take care of ourselves. We have options we didn't have before.

And the nice thing about frugality is it led me into simpler living in general. And that led me smack into the issue of stewardship. Suddenly I am embracing this new lifestyle. I really have very few needs, and my wants can wait. It's not a big deal. I have plenty to keep me busy!

There is a certain amount of satisfaction, knowing you can have a great time with someone and not spend a cent! Frugal luxuries were a godsend for me.

The frugal lifestyle enabled me to actually improve my quality of life for very little effort.

So...the frugal lifestyle for me is about discovering options and making better choices for me and mine. Which depends on knowing needs vs. wants, and setting priorities.

Jean

**Lambie** · 01-28-2008, 05:40 PM

It has just come naturally for us....we've always watched our money as it was how we were raised from the get go. Saving for a retirement has been a goal from the beginning of our marriage. We've always owned our own business and knew we would not have a pension or possible social security to back us up...so we set out from the beginning saving. We have enjoyed life along the way and treated ourselves here and there, but never have we lost sight of our goals...to be financially independant. I'm sooooo happy we did what we did and lived how we have!!!!!!!!!!Katy

**Lady_V** · 01-28-2008, 05:54 PM

I had it "all"... and walked away from it.

To me, being frugal means making the best with what you have... it doesn't matter how much money you have.

**quiltergirl** · 01-28-2008, 05:59 PM

I am convinced that there is no one size fits all frugal lifestyle. We all have to do what is best given our individual circumstances. I think a lot of misunderstandings and hard feelings come out of assuming that everyone has the same definition of frugal.

Our number one priority is health. We spend a lot of money on groceries, vitamins and alternative medical treatments not covered by insurance (such as acupuncture, massage therapy...) Eating a healthy diet emphasizing fresh fruits and veggies is not cheap. I do the best I can to keep costs down but have no illusions of a $25/wk. grocery budget -- that just ain't gonna happen. Health is our number one priority because without your health you really don't have anything.

I feel beaten up on a lot around here over the food thing. That's why I disappear for awhile and then come back and try again. That's one area where I guess many of the people around here and I are going to have to just agree to disagree.

Where we do save and stretch things a bit thin are clothing, utilities, technology (no cell phones and dial up internet), entertainment, transportation, etc. We are also renters with no plans to buy so we have a little more flexibility in our housing costs. At our age we are not really interested in the extra expense or work of a house.

We are also putting a large portion of our income into retirement accounts because dh only plans on working about 10 more years. We never see it, so we really don't miss it.

**Jskell911** · 01-28-2008, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by Daisygirl

For me, a frugal lifestyel was a conscious change from the people I saw around me. It was saving money on things that were less important to give myself more to spend on things that are more important. For example, I spend less on groceries and eating out so I can spend more on gymnastics lessons for my daughters. It was about spending less on the everyday things so that I would no longer have to scramble to meet my bills when the credit card, robbing-peter-to-pay-paul walls came tumbling down. I wanted to draw back from some, but not all, of the rampant consumerism around me. I took the time to learn the difference between a need, a sorta-want, and a want-with-all-my-heart-want.

The goal is that sigh of relief I felt today when I was able to pay cash for the repair on my furnace without missing out on anything else - we still have food in the house, gas in the car, and money in the bank. The goal, all in all is freedom from worry.

This pretty much sums up mine and DH's idea of a frugal lifestyle as well. We want to be able to enjoy the things that are truly important, without feeling as if we are losing a comfort level.

**annymoll** · 01-28-2008, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by quiltergirl

I feel beaten up on a lot around here over the food thing. That's why I disappear for awhile and then come back and try again. That's one area where I guess many of the people around here and I are going to have to just agree to disagree.

Don't feel beat up over it. My grocery bill is outlandish compared to the ones I see here. No problem. I know what is best for me and for my family concerning diet.I learn other tips along the way to help me out.Nice to meet you, by the way.For me the frugal lifestyle is about doing the best I can, with what I have, within my circumstances.

**redhead68** · 01-29-2008, 12:20 AM

Frugality for my family is living in a paid-off small house, driving an older (but still nice) car, and resisting cluttering up our house with worthless stuff (Target is evil, I tell you!), so we have the freedom to pursue more meaningful activities.

Our long-term goal is to have enough to retire comfortably without social security (it would be nice, but I'm not counting on it) and to pay for both of our kids to attend the college of their choice. We're well on our way!

I love Frugal Living because in every thread I find inspiration for being a better steward of my blessings. Thanks gang!

Oh, and Quiltergirl, I spend an outrageous amount of money on food, too, but I don't feel guilty about it. Buying gourmet groceries and experimenting with exotic recipes brings me great joy. It's all about priorities.

**Daisygirl** · 01-29-2008, 05:21 AM

Quiltergirl, I am sorry you feel beaten up about the grocery thing. I am sure it wasn't intentional on anyone's part. Like redhead68 said, it is all about your personal priorities. People might not think a single mom having two children in gymnastics is a frugal decision, and it isn't, but it is a priority in our family. I hope you stick around this time - you always have something great to add!

**Lambie** · 01-29-2008, 06:47 AM

Quiltergirl, I do think you've reached the right frugal group, as you said you do save in a bunch of other areas!!!!!!!!!!!! We all pick and choose what means the most to us!!! I know when my Mom and Dad come for dinner I splurge.....and we love to eat out and do so once a week normally. We also do the fruit and fresh veggie thing in our grocery shopping....so where I've saved by going with a h/m scratch item I can spend a little on something that I truly (as Karen so wonderfully put it) from my heart have to have (I loved that saying as it is so true). My dd is in ballet/tap/jaz combo class (I also homeschool her) all of which is NOT cheap!!! I love jewelry, yup I love the stuff , and crafting too...haha!!! My husband enjoys gunsmithing!! I think it is so important to feed your wants in life. It is however, how you choose to go about saving for that passion!!!!You are doing super because you have your priorities in check and are saving in areas that don't mean as much....and that is what this whole thing is all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**TheRootedNomad** · 01-29-2008, 06:57 AM

A frugal lifestyle for my family means putting our priorities in order so that we can achieve the highest degree of independence from the "rat race" that we comfortably can as a family. Since even within our family there are different priorities we have to compromise. For us it means cutting the non-necessities, recycling, reusing,...basically stretching the money as far as possible in order to use the extra to meet our goals.

Originally money was so tight a frugal life was the only way to meet our goal. The goal was meeting all our basic needs.

Then as we established ourselves the frugal lifestyle that helped us do that became for "poor people" and the goal changed. It was the American Dream (big house, 2 new cars, nice clothes....). With that came debt, frustration, stress, sadness, anixiety, and so on. We were enslaved by the "have to work". This was the worst part, being afraid to quit a job you hated, that made me sick and depressed, because I couldn't take the chance of job hunting. Then the lightbulb...we were happier before the debt.

So back to the frugal lifestlye, for us, cutting everything but what for us were a few personal necessities. (like soda for DH). Out of debt, sounded like the goal but it is just a step on the ladder. Our real goal is to not "have to work". Most people will say that's what retirement is. We want to at least be at the stage where we can float in and out of employment as we please sooner rather than later. Not only will a broken furnace not be a stessful ordeal but neither will it be stressful to tell a boss "I quit" and then take time to find a job that is a good fit instead of taking one to fill the income void.

**quiltingmommy** · 01-29-2008, 08:14 AM

I love taking Wesley to the zoo and it's kinda expensive, but it's not something I am willing to give up. I scrimp in some areas so I can splurge in others.[/QUOTE]

Have you contacted your local library? Some libraries have free (or almost free) passes to different museums, zoos, etc. For my local library, we get a pass for 4 to the zoo, aquarium (you have to pay $2pp), childrens museum (free), art museum (free), etc.