what do you all think about this?

[hmcart]

Okay so I will start out by saying that in our house Dh is probably the impulse spender and I am more of a saver. I do have moments though but over ll I am the more "frugal" one. With that said, I have pretty much taken over bills for the house. Dh does some sidework in which he uses that money to do imrovements on the house unless we really need it for bills. Do you think that there is a point when one person having control over the finances is best or is it better to work as a team? In our house Dh has come to realize that I do a pretty good job and he works quite a bit so it is hard for him to even find time to sit down and look it all over with me. I think that teamwork is ideal, but in our case Dh is not spending from the budget I have for us. He is using his extra money for what he needs to buy for the house and an occasional lunch out.

[sdrjeolsen]

I have a similar situation, with Dh being the spender and me the frugal one. I handle all the day to day finances, that's what works best for us. He usually puts in 16 hour days or longer, so doesn't have time to spend looking over things, so I see it as helpful to him to just make sure it gets done. We tried as a team with lots of arguements, as dh just doesn't have his fingers on the pulse of our situation. Also tried letting him do it all, as he requested once and that was a fiasco, after about a month he told me just take care of things and let him know if there is money to spend or not. When he gets a windfall, however, he wants to spend it all on stuff. I think whateer works best for you, however, I would love for it to be more of a team effort in my house.

[Darlene]

Teamwork for the most part.
In our house everything goes into one pot. Big expenses are talked about & agreed upon. I do shop & pay the bills. We each have some cash in pocket, not much don't need it as most purchases can be put on the credit card that earns us cash back & is paid in full every month. Dh takes his lunch so no cash needed daily. We just talk about money every now and then like when I know school taxes are coming up, that's a biggie and by touching base with him it keeps me in check with groceries and motivated. He's more of a saver than I am. He'd eat pb&j 24/7 if he had to and like it more than I would.

[FrugalMomof3]

In our home DH hands me the checks, I pay the bills and the mortgage but any purchases are dicsussed between us. We usually only buy minimal things (anything under $20) without telling each other but than again we do tell each other when we get home.

DH isnt a spender so I am lucky about that and neither and I ... anymore.

[HisDaisy]

In our house, I handle the bills, doing most of the shopping and keep track of the budget. DH works long hours and does not really want to deal with household budget. That said, we did work together to create a budget and we decide on large purchases together. We also shop together if time allows. We are a team, but he just does not have the time or the interest in every detail. Part of the reason that I stay home is to handle household. It is part of my job.

[Jskell911]

In our house DH handles the finances, BUT he makes sure I am fully aware of where we stand. We both have access to the accounts and I am aware of what is owed and what needs to be paid. He is just better at handling the bills and actually "remembering" to pay....

[momofslg]

I handle the bills. Hubby likes to know what is going on so every payday I tell him how much money is left after paying the bills ( usually not much though).

He seems to like not knowing too much of the details. If you asked him who our mortgage is through he wouldn't know. I do have every payment listed in a ledger book and can look back to May of 1995 and tell you how much I paid in each bill. So if anything were to ever happen he could easily take over without any problems ( as long as he remembered to pay )

[Starlight9803]

I'm in the same boat with me being a bit more "frugal" than DH. Here, I handle paying all the bills, getting groceries, saving for planned purchases, etc. If anything unusual happens, DH does know about it, and we discuss all large purchases, but he could really care less about the details. He likes to spend money on his own projects, but he saves up from his weekly pocket money ($100/week) and he puts his side job pay into his own savings for larger purchases. This works well for us, since DH is a truck driver and is gone 16-48 hours at the time, plus, he has no interest in finances at ALL, I mean, this man put me on his checking account after 3 months together so I could pay his bills, because he just couldn't keep up with it, LOL.

[peanut]

Ah, we're a team now. We didn't used to be. I suggest all you ladies with husbands who don't care about the details, have a binder or file with a sheet that has all the pertinent information, numbers and contact names in case something happens to you and they have no choice but to take over. At least having that and alerting them to it's existence, just in case, will make things run easier in the event of an emergency.

I know my DD#1 is a lot like you ladies. Both she and her DH work part-time and go to university part-time. She is better at controlling money. He's impulsive. So she pays all the bills and buys the necessitities, and then divides up what's leftover between them to spend as they wish. Works for them.

I think it's fair to say, from my 27 years of marriage vantage point, that the role you play in the family finances can change over time, depending on what phase of life you're in. When the kids were little, I let DH handle most of it. As long as I had some money for food, kids clothing and activities, I was happy. But once the kids were out from underfoot, I took more of an interest in the family finances. Good thing I did too. DH handled it from paycheck to paycheck, but he wasn't putting anything away for retirement.

Jean

[McD]

I handle the finances. Zac has no desire to know, but I make him listen. Usually about once a month I set him down and show him where our money is going, how much we have saved, how much debt we have etc. Now that he is in Iraq, I mail him a spreadsheet. Even if he doesn't want to be involved in the day to day handling of the finances, he needs to know the big picture.

[Lady_V]

It's not because I am more frugal than the Old Man, but I handle the finances.

He gives me his paycheck, I deposit it and pay the bills/food/gas with it.

He gets tips at work. He gets to keep them for himself (he is suppose to be saving for a car) to do what he sees fit.

[Cricketlegs]

I handle the bills and the budget but I do discuss things with the DH if it is major.

Also, I keep the bills and the budget book right on my desk in my sewingroom. All he has to do is look at it if he wants too.

Another thing is that our debt and savings balannces are on the wall in my sewingroom so they are at a glance anytime(but away from others eyes who come to the house.)

[Royal]

Me and DH are a team. I do all the finances because I'm a bookkeeper and that's what I went to school for and enjoy doing. We talk about the finances very frequently. All big items are discussed prior to purchase. My husband doesn't spend any money. We both get a monthly allowance to spend on whatever. His money just lays in the cupboard. He always says that he has everything that he needs. He is completely aware of our financial state at any given time. We have a few BIG dreams that we are working on together.

[tbs727]

We are totally a team. For years I did everything, but DH would never stick to a budget, he wouldn't even be involved. After many fights, I finally told him to do it because he wouldn't listen to me when I said we were out of money. When he saw the amount of money that went out and how much was actually left over he finally understood that there we have only a finite amount we can spend. Now we pay bills together and make the budget together every month. We both get $100 a month to do what we want with. I think it helps him to know that he has a bit of money that he doesn't have to be accountable to me for, and I feel the same way. This definitely works for us much better than me doing everything.

[dancar3]

I think it's very important for both of us to absolutely know where all the money is going at this point in time. Before, my dh was the one who paid all the bills and would keep telling me we really didn't have any money but I didn't listen. We would both still spend, not big at all, but it added up anyway. We sat down over a month ago and did a spreadsheet of our finances and it was not a pretty picture. It took us doing that together to realize we needed a budget (which includes the envelope system which is a lifesaver) and we have been sticking to it. He still pays all the bills but I will check online at least once a week to see how things are looking. At this point, we don't have any extra left so it's easy not to spend extra or for it to be accounted for. If you are one of the lucky ones that can afford to spend some money, then I think it's important to have budgeted money for that month for each of you that is just yours to spend at Starbucks or a lunch with some friends, etc.......