I'm done, I'm throwing in the frugal towel.

[Dancing Lotus]

Okay somebody give me a pep talk. Someone tell me why I keep doing this. Tell my why I spend hours planing a shopping trip. Tell me why I spend hours looking at piles of dirty thrift store clothes to find something decent for my girls. Why do I keep going without so I can save a dime? Because in almost two yrs of frugal living I haven't managed to save a dime. In fact it just feels like things are even worse. For the first time in my life I feel poor......

I don't mean to be a downer I just don't have to will to keep trying today. I wanna spring for a steak. I wanna toss the beans and rice in favor of a porter house. I wanna toss my two dollar jeans out the door and buy a pair at a real department store.

I know that so many of you do a lot of these things by choice and don't understand why it would be hard on me but honestly I am just not like that. I don't mind tearing my dryer sheets in half and watering down my detergent. But I do mind eating beans 4 nights a week. When will the cost of things even out? Every week dh's paychecks gets smaller and the price of gas goes up. Every week someone needs something and the things that mom wants has to wait yet another week. I have wanted a decent haircut for a yr but I haven't gotten one yet. I would like to wear contacts but I just keep wearing my glasses because they are the frugal choice. I have just given up so much that I have nothing left to give. I know I sound like a jerk but my will is leaving me.
Today I went to the bank to cash my 120.00 I earned extra and I hit the curb and knocked the tires out of alignment. Plus its time for service so there goes my extra money.

Plus we count on every penny of dh's paycheck. Last week they told him that anytime spent working at the office and not out on the road he will only get paid HALF his hourly pay for. They have a mandatory meetings every morning that they will now only be paying him half pay for. Thats like loosing 2.5 hrs of pay a week....

[Michelle68]

Ann, you don't sound like a jerk, you just sound tired of not getting ahead. I can't believe they're penalizing your DH for being in the office, especially when he has no choice in the matter. Maybe y'all can go do something fun that doesn't cost much this weekend? You've worked very hard to stay on track and it sounds like you need a little treat. Can y'all afford to splurge a little for a couple of steaks, make a salad and some baked potatoes with them? I'm sorry you're feeling so tired and down right now.


--Michelle

[leezza]

Ann,

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

You are a good wife and mother!

I saw a good saying on another thread that applies here, "This too will pass*.

You are doing the very best that you can and that takes alot of stamina and hard work, You are doing the hard work.....Please hang in there.....things will get better.

Take care of yourself

Warm Regards,
leezza

[Dancing Lotus]

I just realized the irony of my post and my siggy

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Oh Ann...I'm so sorry... I don't know whether to give ya a pep talk or go the "misery loves company" route... I know a lot of us are feeling just like you!! You're not alone!! I keep watching money fly out the door faster than it comes in and we keep eating homemade (cheap, no meat) soups, beans & rice...

I can totally identify with your bank/car scenario. We were on our way to the doctor last week to get my fractured foot checked (no health insurance, so it just KILLS me to go to the doc at ALL). As I was getting out of the car my Dh accidentally slammed my fingers in the door (yes, so much that I couldn't pull them out...and the door was locked!!). So, instead of "just" an x-ray for my foot, the cost of the doc appt, and a walking cast we had to add x-rays for my hand to the bill!! They were so far in the door jam and swelled so fast we thought surely they were broken... But, there went another $120!!!

Dh's graduation is now delayed from May to December of next year...which means *another* whopper student loan...and longer to go without income... So, stretching even farther.

Sometimes I just wonder if I've got it in me any more. I totally know where you're coming from...second hand clothes, never getting to eat out/fancy... My mom's friend has been cutting my hair for years...and though she does a fine job...and it only costs me $12...it would be nice to just feel like I can have SOMETHING...and still have some $$ in the bank. I console myself with the fact that at least we're not farther in debt...and at least there is food in the pantry (even if it's not very fancy...we won't go hungry). And fortunately, the occasional chocolate bar (33 cents) is within our means.

I guess my babbling boils down to...you're not alone...we're here for you...we're with ya...we understand... I'm praying that things get better soon...for all of us... Sending you giant hugs!!!

[cissylu]

Ann I`m so sorry you`re going thru this.
hug`s cissylu

[Marie78]

I hope things feel better for you soon. I think you should give yourself a small splurge too, if you are feeling really deprived you need a small treat to pamper yourself. I go to Supercuts (an inexpensive place for haircuts) a few times a year. I know it's not the greatest hair cut, not like the fancy salon I love and visit as a gift on my birthday.

I feel so much better after a haircut though, it helps me feel pampered, even if it was less than $15 with the tip. Maybe you can check out one of the less expensive places to get your hair cut, or even a beauty school that might need a head of hair to practice on.

[ubumartin]

I think we all feel like that every now and then. You have every right to feel like that, you work hard and prices keep going up and up. There is not much any of us can do but continue to look for ways to save here and there and hopefully the prices will start to improve. Until then, I am sending good thoughts your way and hoping you get a little good luck your way too!!!

[Jskell911]

Ann, although I am not in the same position right now, I have been. ANd I know how you are feeling. At one point I was literally living on a credit card just to feed myself and my son. Well, the cc had to be paid off right? It always felt like one step forward only to take two steps back. And yes, I just wanted something "NEW" for just me! Not because I needed it, but because I WANTED it!

You can get through this. But I agree, you need a small pampering just for you! You need something that even if it is, doesn't FEEL frugal. Just find out what that might be and it could go a long way.

Hope you feel better soon!

[FrugalMomof3]

Ann,

I know how you feel and I am sorry you are going through such hard times these days. I HAVE been where you are and all I can say is keep your head up, things WILL get better, here's a cyber hug for you and message me if you want to talk.

[AmyBoz]

Ann, It's tough to stay strong. You are doing great. It just happens to be a time when no matter what anyone does, it is going to be difficult to get ahead. to you.

[Ebbie]

I am so sorry you are going through this, I can really hear the frustration in your post. I think the fact you've been frugal 2 years and aren't getting anywhere is the crux of the problem. I've been frugal for 15 years but because I made progress it never seemed like deprivation to me. I can't imagine doing all the frugal stuff and at best just breaking even. Although I guess breaking even is a lot better than being in the hole, which is what would have happened if you hadn't been frugal all this time.

But....is there some way to manage even a small monthly gain, over and above even those unexpected emergencies that seem to crop up? At $100 a month over 2 years you'd have over $2400 right now, plenty for a splurge on a haircut or contact lenses. See what I mean? In that case, being frugal is worthwhile and getting ahead will lessen or eliminate those bouts of just wanting to throw in the towel. Is there some way we can help? Can you post your budget to see if there's any things that can be cut, or maybe we could brainstorm ideas to increase your income by a hundred or two a month. I really think that is the difference....if you can just get a little bit ahead instead of treading water it will make all the difference in your outlook.

Hang in there!

[C@rol]

So sorry this is such a rough time for you.
We have all had time where we felt the same
way. Maybe you need to take a break.
Go out and treat yourself. Maybe get that haircut.
Take a breather. I wish you the best and that
things turn around soon.

[northernmom2boys]

Ann hope you feel better about things soon

[Lady_V]

Ann, scootch over to make room for the rest of us :

Been there, done that, I'd send you a postcard, but I don't have the .42 to spare at the moment...

You are a fantastic seamstress... make something for YOU! Take a pair of those thrift store jeans you despise and turn them in to something fabulous... a skirt, a purse, daisy duke shorts but do it for YOU.

When I feel I am losing the battle, I paint my fingers and toes... I don't know what it is about painted toes, but I feel 'fancy' when I mope around the house in my 5 year old flip-flops.

You're not poor... you are ... um... um... Financially Creative! Ya, that's it... anyone can have a great life if they have a ton of money... it takes talent to have a great life when you have none!

I've gone to the grocery store with tears in my eyes because I knew I only had $20 in my pocket and I needed to buy gas too... Crying doesn't make the money grow, I speak from experience.

Have Ann time... look at your home, your dh, your children and smile... then do something for you!

I'm here, we're all here... don't toss in the towel... I'll grab it and sell it on ebay!