I would just like to share this

**Dutchie** · 06-01-2008, 02:46 PM

As long as I can remember I have never been able to get along with my parents. I left home to move to Holland and marry my hubby when I was quite young and every time I went home to Scotland there was always an argument.
I have now lived in Holland for a little more than 30 years.
I went back there for the last time 10 years ago when my childhood friend died just before her 40th birthday. Even then there was a huge argument.
For the last couple of years my parents have been coming to Holland and staying with my oldest son. The distance between Holland and Scotland has done a lot of good for our relationship but not enough for them to stay with us without trouble.
Anyhow - enough background.
My father (now 81) has not been well and due to some gentle prodding by my DH we both thought that it would be a good thing for me to go 'home' before it was 'too late'.
To say that I was tense about the trip is a HUGE understatement.
My argument was that at the moment there is no misunderstanding so - should my father pass, then I wouldn't have (I think) a guilty conscience (sp?).
To cut a long story short. I have been to Scotland this last week and stayed there for 3 days. There were no misunderstandings (had to bite my tongue a few times though) and I left there with a lot of tears on both sides.
Things went quite well and should things now go wrong with my father (a very real possibility) then I have no regrets and my father knows that I went there because I knew that things were going badly with him and that I came to see him because I care.
Just wanted to share.

**IntlMom** · 06-01-2008, 02:50 PM

I'm glad you were able to do that........regrets are a terrible thing. Glad you won;t have to have any now!!!

**AmyMCGS** · 06-01-2008, 02:52 PM

I'm glad you had that chance and hope that you will feel at peace with things when his time does come.

**LuvMyHubby** · 06-01-2008, 02:56 PM

I'm glad that you had this chance. I wish I could say the same for my father and myself.

**Mom23boys** · 06-01-2008, 03:00 PM

I am glad you had the chance to visit your father and let him know yo care before anything happens. I am sure it meant a lot to him and to you. We can not change the past, but we can make a new future.

**jamie79** · 06-01-2008, 03:11 PM

I am glad you got the chance and I bet your parents are glad too

**dolphin** · 06-01-2008, 03:20 PM

Thank you for sharing. It's a beautiful story and I'm sure it was a very meaningful visit for all.

**leezza** · 06-01-2008, 03:58 PM

I am sending good thoughts your way!

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

To you and your family

leezza

**FrugalMomof3** · 06-01-2008, 04:35 PM

I am glad you had the chance to go, sometimes we do things and we mean well but you have to remember that families are families no matter what, we have to stick together through thick and thin.

**mom2matty** · 06-01-2008, 05:14 PM

I'm also glad you had a chance to go home!!

**Darlene** · 06-01-2008, 05:20 PM

Ya got me teary eyed. I know that must have been so hard for you. Big hugs and glad you went. You did a very good thing not only for them but for you too.

This relationship thing (for all of us) sure is complicated sometimes.

**cab54** · 06-01-2008, 07:05 PM

I'm so glad you made it there and had a good last time with him.

**Drgnfly423** · 06-01-2008, 07:18 PM

That's fantastic. I have a difficult relationship with my mother. She might not tell you the same, that's part of the problem! LOL. Anyway, so I understand. I'm glad that you had a great, mostly stress-free visit and are back hope and happier for it!