my vent on this heat

**Suzy** · 06-05-2008, 10:28 AM

My dh owns a heating and cooling business. I guess I should be thankful for the heat because that means work. But......We have business customers that invoices doesn't get paid but only once or twice a month and if we fall between those dates we have to wait. Too bad our mortgage company, light company and water don't have the same system. Then we have those residential customers that call us, dh comes out then says (after the ac is fix) can I pay next week when their dh gets paid. Sure, and my kids will just have to wait til next week to eat. In the dark. In a tent. I know, I know- a little extreme-but hey, it's my rant. Then it is those customers that just can't wait til 7am the next morning to get their ac fixed so my dh leaves our home 6:30am and comes home after 9pm just so those customers can have a cool night. Can't open a window over night anyone???? Glad they can have family time. Meanwhile my family time is almost nonexistant. Even in church, dh misses out because they him call out during service. problem- front doors were left open and building was heating up. When we go out to eat people will come to our table and want to talk business. I know I should be thankful for our customers. If it weren't for them we wouldn't have a business but come on, don't we deserve family time too. Oh just so ya'll don't think I am a complete meanie, if those customers are elderly or have small children at home, that is a totally different story. Time of day doesn't matter. Those customers will come first. This is only the first hot week we have had. And already it has been very late nights. All we need is for his boys to go to their mom's one weekend after a few late nights and tell her. She'll call fussing about him not spending enough time with them. (we have full custody-she has every other weekend)Because of her "venting" her feelings, I keep mine to myself. Thanks for letting me vent here. Can I pray for an earlier winter?

**larabelle** · 06-05-2008, 10:34 AM

Thanks for sharing...you know I never have considered things from your point of view. I have been a shrew because I have always thought "I am paying for the service (AC/Heating) and if it is not working then I don't care what time/day it is..the repair man better be out there to fix it ASAP!!" Kind of selfish of me. I think that I will change my point of view now that I have heard your point of view. hmmmmmmmmmm..............

**nessarowdy** · 06-05-2008, 10:36 AM

HUGS! The service industry is a tough one, especially the one your dh is in. God bless him for what he does!

And you for picking up the pieces to hold the family together when he's not available! It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? You're happy he's so busy because that means more income, right? Although it's crazy hours and such, but he'll eventually get paid, right? Hang in there!

**Buc-O-Mama** · 06-05-2008, 10:42 AM

Vent away. And a short summer would be lovely. My DH works from home and his phone rings all times, night and day. His team is around the world at times and so he gets calls at odd times then spends hours in his office fixing problems. I know it can hurt family time, but just hold on. I don't know what to tell you about getting people to pay in a more timely fashion, that must stink. Around here, you are told to expect to pay on the spot for the service call, then again when you have work done.

It's not much comfort right now, but our families have money coming in and so many don't, especially right now. We have to take the big old heaping of bad with the good and count our blessings. You have every right to be frustrated, and block off some family time too. Just remember that being in demand is a good thing.

You might want to sit the boys down and explain that it's dad's busy season right now if you havn't already. Just so they really understand that this is something he has to do to support the family and it's not a choice. Maybe that would keep a situation from happening with his ex.

**ktsmama** · 06-05-2008, 01:08 PM

I'm in SC, too, so I feel your pain concerning the heat. I think you have the right to be frustrated and you can vent here any time. I know he appreciates you so much for trying to hold things together!

Good Luck.

**amlitrocks** · 06-05-2008, 02:51 PM

Thank you! Thank you! I am in the same boat. No ex though. I have small children and my husband owns a fire alarm and security business. He works all over the state. Cell phone always attached and business always comes first. It is frustrating at times, but I just keep telling myself that we are better off than others in this economy. I feel your pain and wishing you the best. Hoping for you to have some family time soon.

**zakity** · 06-05-2008, 03:38 PM

That has to be hard. I agree with sitting the boys down and explaining that their dad wants to spend time with them. But, he is working so that they have money for things. If they are younger, tell them it is for "fun" things like toys or going places or whatever. If they are older, tell them it is to pay the bills and such.

When we moved into our house, we found out the furnace was bad. The boys were all under four at that time. They tried to put us at the top of the list and I wouldn't let them because we had a wood stove. We had heat, we were fine. It was in the middle of a major cold snap and I knew there were other people who didn't have a heat source. About a week later, they were less busy. They called and came out and fixed it.

You know, what about their dad leaving them a message every day on a white or chalk board. It could be as simple as "hi, guys" or "love you all". Just be sure he changes it everyday. They could even write messages back to him if it was big enough. Or have two for them to do messages back and forth.

**SewCrafty** · 06-05-2008, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by zakity

You know, what about their dad leaving them a message every day on a white or chalk board. It could be as simple as "hi, guys" or "love you all". Just be sure he changes it everyday. They could even write messages back to him if it was big enough. Or have two for them to do messages back and forth.

Great idea Zakity!

We don't have kids, but for many years Jack and I passed each other on the highway coming/going from work. It is hard and I bet it is even harder with children involved. I don't know what to tell you but the gals above have some good ideas.

**urbanfarmer** · 06-05-2008, 06:32 PM

There is no easy answer to your problem. My DH worked shift work all the years the kids were in school and summers with 3 in baseball could be so trying.

Our high temp today has hovered around 50. DH had to relight the furnace last night.

One day the kids will be grown and you will wonder where the years went.

**Suzy** · 06-06-2008, 10:09 AM

Hi ya'll,
Thanks for the support, advice and letting me vent. The boys are 14 and 12 (twins). They know and understand why their Daddy has to put in late nights. They aren't the probelm. Do I have to say who is? She doesn't want to be involved their lives, just ours. She doesn't want to "let go". She questions them on what we spent and how much. On where we go and what we do or did. I have come right out and asked the boys if they tell her what they did and what they bought. They say yes but she only asks questions about us. That is another thread altogether.
Again, thanks!!

**zakity** · 06-06-2008, 05:22 PM

Awww... You have three boys, two years apart... I have questions for you!!

So, I have a 12 year old and twins who are 10. They are all hitting puberty. It gets better, right? They are all hormonal. That rubber room and that nice white jacket is looking better and better all the time.

Does the massive hormonal stuff end? Has it calmed down for you at all yet?

I so swear the three of them feed off each other with all the hormonal stuff. No one else I know has the older child and then the twins and all boys. Well, I do know some families with boys who are all close in age, but they are like Stepford families.

**Suzy** · 06-07-2008, 05:30 PM

My oldest DSS and my oldest DS are both 14. Then the twin boys (SS's also) are 12. And my DD is 12. Hormones are rough!!!! Girls mature faster than boys so my daughter and the 14 year olds hit at the same time. My advice-pray (and get measured for a straight jacket and reserved that padded room) Things have even out some. Until that time of month with my daughter. But the twins boys are coming along so they are the next ones. But things do get better. (until they start driving) Boy, I am just full of good news today-lol.

**Missy** · 06-07-2008, 06:11 PM

DH is a flooring contractor...i feel your pain, lol. Sigh.

**zakity** · 06-07-2008, 07:11 PM

My oldest DSS and my oldest DS are both 14. Then the twin boys (SS's also) are 12. And my DD is 12. Hormones are rough!!!! Girls mature faster than boys so my daughter and the 14 year olds hit at the same time. My advice-pray (and get measured for a straight jacket and reserved that padded room) Things have even out some. Until that time of month with my daughter. But the twins boys are coming along so they are the next ones. But things do get better. (until they start driving) Boy, I am just full of good news today-lol.

So, I have no hope... Bummer... Thanks!