Ahhhhh the MIL is coming to visit

**IntlMom** · 06-11-2008, 02:40 PM

I feel your pain....really I do!! But I agree with the others, you need to take a stand, unfortunately both with Joe and the MIL.

**nerdbynature** · 06-11-2008, 03:10 PM

I agree with Katybird! I think that maybe you and Joe need to have a serious heart to heart and you need to tell him everything you feel about everything. If he is still not considerate of you and your needs I would be moving to my mom's for the time being.

**CarolBee** · 06-11-2008, 03:50 PM

I'd be asking what hotel she preferred to stay at - and if she had no preference, I'd make reservations for her!

**LuvMyHubby** · 06-11-2008, 07:13 PM

Inlaws and juggling them can be tough and please don't get mad at me but just playing devils advocate for a second:

You mention that Joe said that he had to put up with your family so you should be able to put up with his mom. Now your family seems wonderful kind and caring to you and Ellen however, perhaps this was not the case for Joe. Perhaps, he feels the disdain that seems to come from your family for his inablility to give you more help and perhaps he felt that he needed to have someone come visit who would be squarely in his corner and he didn't feel would be making disparging maybe even snide remarks behind his back or even to his face.

Like I said it can be tough and I don't want you to think I am being harsh because nobody should just invite themselves for two weeks but it may be that Joe invited her and won't fess up. Just tell him that there will be ground rules or she will need to go to a hotel or home.

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-11-2008, 07:33 PM

I have been thinking about this and you should let her come. AND PUT HER TO WORK.

When she arrives grab her bags and tell her how grateful you are that she has come to help you. Let her know that you are so overwhelmed that you and JOE could use her help for a while. Then walk away and go read a book while she takes care of JOE.When its dinner time tell you that the two of you have become used to eating cereal for dinner, after a night or two I would bet my dog that she starts cooking.;-)

**qtkitty** · 06-21-2008, 02:15 AM

*lol* After all that she decided not to come after all .. and is supposedly going to come at the end of next month.. so she has more money... We will see.

My work put me on to work 4 straight days this week .. which i found out about when i called in sick Saturday night i almost freaked out.. then my manager called me back and asked me if i was going to be out the next night and when i said i didn't know she decided for me that i was going to be off since i wasn't sure.. i had either stomach flu or stomach virus.. because the next day Ellen had it ( thankfully it wasn't bad or for a long time ). I do not know what they were thinking since they know i can hardly do 2 days straight. Anyways my mom and grandparents have come down to help with Ellen. ( today i found out i work monday too so thats 5 days straight) I am thankful that they could do so.

We found out that Joe will be having surgery July 9th to put in the VNS .. and his mom started complaining that she guessed that we were not going to come visit her before his surgery. * sighs * And we told her we would visit when we had the money .. and we don't have the money to do it expecially with gas prices going up and him going for this surgery. It takes $15 round trip to go to the hospital he needs to get to every trip and he will need atleast 3 trips next month.

The other day he handed me the phone to hold while he went to get something or other .. i said hello she never talked to me and i could hear her breathing .. so i just held the phone and when he got back i gave him the phone back and they started talking again. So there is a massive amount of hostility there i believe. When they finished talking i told Joe his mom just didn't talk to me and he didn't even blink or say anything to it.

My mom has brought it up that she thinks that his mom really has some resentment towards me and that if i wasn't in the picture that she would be up here in a heartbeat helping to care for Joe. And that i should move up to live with her and have Joe's mom come take care of him so we can get things back to "normal". My mom also said that the bad thing about doing that would be that if Joe's mom did harbor some resentment towards me then she would try to poison Joe against me while we were apart and it may end up where Joe wouldn't want to get back together afterwards and i would have to raise Ellen on my own.

**AmyMCGS** · 06-21-2008, 09:37 AM

Well, I'm glad the two-week visit is off for now, at least. Now you can worry about the surgery and getting through that before you have to deal with her again.