Ahhhhh the MIL is coming to visit

[qtkitty]

* sighs *

My MIL is coming .. Joe's mom.. invited herself from the way Joe talks about it for 2 WEEKS

I'm already stressing .. i dont need to have her stressing me more..i will not cook meals for all of us .. as it stands now im lucky if i get one real meal completed a day.. sometimes even thats left overs of bulk meals i stashed in the freezer... or what little processed food i have ( chicken patty) mixed with premade biscuits or bread from the freezer. Im not going to clean after everyone. And i am not going to leave the bleach in reach of her either..

But something that sort of calms me down .. i have come to the decision that if she starts "showing A$$" then i will be telling her to get her crap packed and go the hell home. I don't have time in the day to deal with her being rude or interupting ellen and mines rutine. And darnit i will not put up with her being sarcastic to or upsetting the baby. ( now i will have to make sure i stick to it .. i do hate making waves... but darnit if joe will not tell her to chill then i will chill her right out the door. )

He told me that he put up with my family so i could deal with his for a little while. My grandparents and mom stayed for a weekend and they came to the house and fixed things the landlord hadn't and i didn't know how to and Joe couldn't do. My grandmother made some coments about Joe not helping and no wonder i was tired... but he was sitting in the middle of the way from what both he and my fam said.Which was nice.. Last time his mom was here she made comments constantly and sat on her butt in the kitchen and she talked so loud down the hall that it would wake me up. I think i am right to be put out.. i told Joe i wasn't sure if i could put up with his mom for 2 weeks.

Plus the other thing is my family stays at a hotel .. not only so we can have privacy but so they can have privacy... his mom will be staying in our front room. My family often will either bring food with them to cook or bring some fast food while his mom eats off us.

I don't like it that it sounds like she invited herself into our house and i was told that she was coming.. not asked. My family always asks if it would be okay if they come down.

[JustMegan79]

It does seem rather inconsiderate however from your past saga with her I am really not surprised.

Whats important is that you remain solid in your determination not to allow the bad attitude of hers or anyone else to rub off on your nor effect you and your daughters routine. It is your home and while you may have to deal with MIL being there, you can try to make the best of it without compromising your own "rules" or your sanity.

Make things clear and stick to it.

Wishing you luck!

[luv-my-lexi]

Oh, I am sorry you will have to go through all that....and TWO weeks of it???? That is a long time to have someone staying with you in the front room. You know, I love my own parents dearly but when they come and stay for a week (in one of our spare bedrooms) I am definately ready for them to go ~ nice visit now time to go.

Anyway, maybe if she starts her "comments" and they are offensive to you confront her on them. Some people will say things if they think they can get away with it. But if you stand your ground and let her know that it is inappropriate to you hopefully she will "shut up" about whatever it is. Also, if she starts her loud talking let her know that you easily wake up and to please keep her voice down.

I'm giving you and maybe it won't be so bad. We will keep our fingers crossed.

[Dancing Lotus]

I feel for you, I really do.

My mil just invited herself to stay for 3 weeks.

Don't let her upset you or your schedule. Just go about you day just as you would.

[stacye]

Bless your heart!! I am lucky enough to have two sets of in-laws because dh's parents divorced when he was young. Now one set I love like my own family but the other... not so much.

They think that I'm awful because I work outside the home. I tried to welcome them to the new millennium but they refuse to take one step out of the 50's!!

Didn't mean to highjack your thread, I just wanted you to know that you're definitely not alone. You have a good plan in place. I'm wishing you gentle days ahead!!

Stacye

[Russ]

My MIL and I get along great... when she is at her house!
Good luck is all I can say... that and I'm sorry.

[stevie]

Maybe if your attitude was better things would go a little easier. If getting dinner fixed is that difficult for you ask her if she would help, but ask her in a nice way. Same goes for helping out with other things, let her know that you are overwhelmed. People are usually glad to help if asked, it makes them feel needed. I'm not sure what "showing a$$" means.

My MIL didn't care for me much when dh and I got married but I worked hard at winning her over and by the time she passed away we were as close as could be and I still think of her everyday. Things can change but sometimes we are the ones who have to get the ball rolling. I hope everything works out for the best.

2 weeks is WAY too long!

[leezza]

qtkitty,

JMHO:
I wonder did she invite herself or did Joe invite her but doesn't have the guts to tell you???? From everything you have told us over time I sometimes do not have a very good impression of his ways and how he treats you......I think he doesn't appreciate how hard you work to make things work.

Since he isn't doing the right thing it's up to you to call MIL and tell her that now isn't a good time for you and that if she wants to come you could put her up for a couple of days.....if she wants to stay longer she will need to get a room.

Sorry I am not trying to be mean to you at all.....I am just pissed at how Joe is treating you.

JMHO,
leezza

[Darlene]

I'd say no. You have a say in this & it is not a convienent time for you. I don't like that Joe seems to think your opinion doesn't matter on this. It does.

[lwlynch]

goodluck maybe it will turn out to be quick and a bit painless..i hope..big hug for you

[JustMegan79]

I don't like that Joe seems to think your opinion doesn't matter on this. It does.

I was thinking this but was afraid to say it.

[dianne9106]

Awww honey, I am sorry! I know things did not turn out as expected last time she was there I think Joe might be taking an advantage of you, but not in a malicious manner. I think he might just be taking you for granted a lot of the time. I know he is disable and there are a lot of things he cannot do. It is tough, but maybe you should have a heart to heart with him and let him know how you feel. There really is no point in you keeping it in until it blows up on everyone. Please hang in there dear!
Dianne

[FrugalWitch]

Just say no. Put your foot down already. My MIL has been trying to invite herself over for going on 6 years. She announces her intentions, I tell her to get a hotel. Heck she even tried to invite herself over to stay at my Momma's house (before we had to move in to take care of her). She had never even met my Momma!
Momma, DH and myself do not, not, not like having company.

[Katybird]

It sounds like Joe does not take your feelings into consideration about things. Please don't take this the wrong way but since his mother is obviously able to spend extended amounts of time away from her home, now might be a good time to take your Mom up on your offer of staying at her house and taking the job with her friend if it is still available. You could get some finances in order and have some help with the baby at your Moms. Joe's mother could stay with him and take care of him and you would be killing 2 birds with one stone, making sure that someone is there to take care of him and getting your finances in order and the plus would be that you could spend some time in an enviroment that would be much less stressful and you could have some time to destress and enjoy yourself and your baby.

[McD]

QT--I agree with the other fellas. (SEE RCANNON I DIDN"T SAY LADIES!!) I think maybe Joe is not taking your feelings into account on this. If he won't stand up to his mom, maybe you will have to. Especially now that Ellen's in the mix.