Male and female posters

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-12-2008, 10:14 AM

I have an observation that I am going to say out loud.

Recently , we have had more male members then in the past. I for one am grateful to have them. Here is why.

Disclaimer: This is a general statement not pointed at anyone.

Females don't always say what they really think. We are worried about others peoples feelings more then we are concerned about saying what they need to hear.

Males- They tend to think that by saying what you need to hear and not what you want to hear is helping you. I wonder if scientifically the female brain has a filter that the male brain doesn't have.

I believe that when a male responds they are simply stateing the facts the way that they perceive them. Because often they aren't as good at choosing the "softer" words what they say is received in a negative tone.

I know that when My dh tells me something I don't want to hear, in hindsight after I have removed my feelings , I see that he is right. And by his telling me the truth he is doing me a greater service by loving me enough to not sugar coat.

We say that men don't wear their hearts on the sleeves , not true. They are far more open with their feelings then woman.

So I urge you not to dismiss what they are saying just because it wasn't laced with flowers. You don't have to agree, but do we really have to try to run them off like villagers with torches?

Just food for thought.

**VanVivCam** · 06-12-2008, 10:16 AM

excellent post...thank you for bringing that to the forefront.

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-12-2008, 10:19 AM

I was little afraid to post it, I know it will offend someone but its the truth the way I see it.

**TheRootedNomad** · 06-12-2008, 10:20 AM

I had just recently posted in another thread that I was enjoying the more recent male perspectives. I'd like to keep 'em all around as well.

**Greebo** · 06-12-2008, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by AnnK

I have an observation that I am going to say out loud.

Sorry, but a thank you click just isn't enough in this case.

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-12-2008, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Greebo

Sorry, but a thank you click just isn't enough in this case.

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

So I take it I got something right?

**Greebo** · 06-12-2008, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by AnnK

So I take it I got something right?

No, it was the craziest thing I've ever read.

(At this point, please allow me to direct you to the picture of my coffee mug, immediately to your left...)

**Persimmon Lace** · 06-12-2008, 10:32 AM

Bravo for speaking your mind with no flourish and flowers! Thanks!

**McD** · 06-12-2008, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Greebo

No, it was the craziest thing I've ever read.

(At this point, please allow me to direct you to the picture of my coffee mug, immediately to your left...)

Hehe this made me giggle.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-12-2008, 10:52 AM

Thank you Ann!! What a well written post!

I hope that ALL villagers read this. If they dispute you ~ a well-loved frugaltarian ~ I'll just throw up my hands in utter and hopeless dispair.

(I hope this was nice and short and wasn't too dramatic!

)

**staciah** · 06-12-2008, 10:59 AM

I personally would like to hear MORE objective advice instead of the poopoo responses that sometimes are given. Yes there are threads that do deserve a "Im sorry to hear that...." But some just need a slap up side the head sometimes with a response of "What are you thinking?"

**fernykins** · 06-12-2008, 11:00 AM

Hey I like reading different posts that have so many sides to it. This is how it is and should be. If you open your mind and remove the blinkers alot of things writen have merit. We are all trying to survive in this day and time....... Thanks AnnK.
Fern

**Ebbie** · 06-12-2008, 11:27 AM

I think you make a really good observation Ann. I know there's several hot topics on the forum right now, and I've been avoiding some of them so I'm not sure where we've been running off the guys, but I can easily see it happening if they're voicing their thoughts in a no-nonsense manner. I know I'm fitting your "female" mold right now just because I'm avoiding those topics because I know I can't say what I really think. I'm too worried about hurting the original poster's feelings, just like you say. But I've never been that great at coining the "softer" phrases either, so I've just been avoiding posting at all!

Anyway, just my long rounadabout way of saying I think you've made some excellent points about the differences in guy/girl communcation.

**tbs727** · 06-12-2008, 11:33 AM

Yep, I think there is a lot of truth in what you said.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-12-2008, 12:24 PM

Oh!! AnnK... I want to thank you for this post again because I just realized...

If I or maybe one of the testosterone laden species posted this thread ... holy CRAP! they'd be hell to pay.

Just an observation- and I can back it up with lots of examples.

disclaimer ?