Going to a graduation party this weekend but have no money for the graduate

**frugalandsimple** · 06-12-2008, 08:16 PM

He's my cousin and nowdays, I rarely ever see him since on that side of the family, we don't do get-togethers on holidays or anything anymore which is sad when you think about it. My parents are going and I know will be giving money. I don't have the extra money to give and I have a few graduation parties to go to this year

**Nishu** · 06-12-2008, 08:29 PM

So, are you asking for advice or something?

Do you have an extra buck for a .99 card? Just write out a heartfelt congrats on a card and call it good. Most people know better than to expect everyone they know to be in a position to give in a case like this, and if he doesn't... well it will be a good lesson to learn.

**Darlene** · 06-12-2008, 08:36 PM

I'd give him a Congratulations card or nice note and invite him for lunch so you can get to know each other again. Also, if he's going away to college, maybe you can give him and iou to bake him some cookies and mail them to him.

So nice to get homemade stuff when away from home.

**ErikM02** · 06-12-2008, 08:37 PM

I wouldn't worry about it... If you don't have money what can ya do? Maybe you can get your parents to sign the card with the kids included?

**frugalandsimple** · 06-12-2008, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by Nishu

So, are you asking for advise or something?

Do you have an extra buck for a .99 card? Just write out a heartfelt congrats on a card and call it good. Most people know better than to expect everyone they know to be in a position to give in a case like this, and if he doesn't... well it will be a good lesson to learn.

Little things add up even if it's just a few dollars. I just don't have any extra money to spend on someone else. I was thinking of going there early to see if they need help with setting up or anything.

**Nishu** · 06-12-2008, 08:43 PM

Oh ok. I totally didn't mean to be snarky, I just thought you meant you weren't going to do the typical $50 grad present type thing...

You know what I would do? I'd just ask my parents if I could sign their card. And they'd let me.

Of course helping to set up would probably be appreciated... and I'd be willing to bet staying to clean up would as well.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-12-2008, 08:44 PM

A card and a note is all that's needed.
Gifts are not meant to break the bank.
And nobody should EVER expect a gift.
It's okay to go with nothing.

"back in the day" (hate that term) when I was really broke... I didn't even get a card, because I didn't want to make it obvious that I didn't put money in it. He'll be so wrapped up in the cashe he/she got.. hardly notice you didn't bring anything.

So.... go enjoy.. give well wishes and know that you were invited because they wanted your presence not your presents.

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-12-2008, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by frugalandsimple

I was thinking of going there early to see if they need help with setting up or anything.

That's a great idea. When I had DS's 2nd birthday party, I was running around like crazy and a couple of our friends showed up 45 minutes early and said "Hey, what can we help with?" It was a lifesaver!

I'm sure a heartfelt congrats will be good enough!

**Lady_V** · 06-12-2008, 08:48 PM

Advice is always free... maybe you can type up "words of wisdom", roll it in to a scroll and include it with home-made cookies or bread...

Q- why cookies or bread??? A- No matter how crumb-y it (life) gets... it's still cookies/bread (life)...

**suki** · 06-12-2008, 09:18 PM

My youngest just graduated and she really wasn't looking for money... just joy!

**LuvMyHubby** · 06-12-2008, 09:35 PM

I agree, when my dd graduated highschool we didn't invite people for what she might get, we invited those who meant the world to her. But, I bet the offer of helping to setup and/or clean up would make that day a lot easier for the people hosting so that they can enjoy the party also.

**momof2joys** · 06-12-2008, 11:58 PM

Maybe you could try putting a coupon for something in a card. Like a coupon to help move him to college or pack. You could always find something on the internet to print off. My little sister just graduated in May, and one of my parents friends put a list of what to take to college from like 1979, it had things like don't forget to bring plants and plant holders, type writers, dress shoes, pants, clean underwear, records and record player. Maybe something like that would be something that he would enjoy. If anything, it just might help lighten the mood a little after the stress of graduating. JMHO

**dolphin** · 06-13-2008, 01:21 AM

If you truely don't even have the money to buy a card, then don't even worry about it. Just say something like, "sorry, the party caught me on a bad week". You are family and family is expected to appear but not obligated to give money or presents. Give him a hug and a congratulations and go on. If someday you have some extra cash and can give the Grad a helping hand, then by all means, do it. Hugs...

**ButteredPopcorn** · 06-13-2008, 06:14 PM

Frugal Nurse is right. No one should ever expect a gift (unless they are the honoree at a wedding or baby shower where the premise is all about presents).

Write a note. Plain paper, nothing fancy. Call up the best advice you received when you graduated and tell him that in your note, and add your congrats and best wishes for his future. Short and sweet.

Sometimes the best gifts are those that are the hardest gifts to give (but the least damaging to our wallets) ... words and thoughts from our hearts committed to paper. It always fits, it won't be sent back to the store, it won't show up on your credit card, and it will likely be the only gift he will remember in years to come.

Cheers!

**inneedofhope** · 06-13-2008, 06:29 PM

Got any cute pics from when he was little? It might be cute to add to a personal note. Maybe with a funny memory of him.
My nephew's graduation party is tomorrow. it's a backyard bbq, so ds and i are bringing loaded water guns and water balloons and plotting an ambush!