Absolute Frustration - With Myself!

[suebeehoney]

ARRRGGGHHH! Boy do I need to vent. I went and did something totally stupid today, and I'm really ticked at myself over it.

Got my stimulus payment today (finally). Since I was on a vacation day from work, I decided to take my older son (16) and go grocery shopping. I had planned to spend VERY little (comparatively) on groceries out of this check, having already earmarked the bulk of it for other things - like bills I wanted to pay off. Well, we got into town and were hungry...so I allowed us the 'treat' of going out to eat - $26. Then we went to the grocery store, used coupons, but still ended up spending way too much, due to our cupboards being pretty bare, and my wanting to stock up - $263. Another grocery store, great deals on markdown meats for the freezer - $40. Discount bread store (again, to stock up and put in the freezer) - $16. Discount merchandise outlet store (drapes for son's room, a few discounted grocery items) - $40. A few other expenditures were made and a small bill repaid, along with 2 regular small bills - $105. I knew I was overspending, but didn't really realize by how much until I got home and started looking at how much money I had left of the stimulus payment and adding up the receipts.

All told, by the end of the day, I had spent almost 2/3 of my stimulus check, and hadn't done what I planned with it at all. So here I sit, at 1:00 a.m., fretting, stewing and generally ticked off at myself for it, and trying to figure out how to deal with it. I can't believe I did it. I know we all have moments of lapse when it comes to our budgets and frugality, but I really lost my mind today, I think. The only excuse I can give for the excessive grocery bill is that I was VERY tired of seeing an empty freezer, barely any meat in the house, very little in the cupboards except Ramen, tuna fish and pancake mix, along with a few veggies, and when I got into the grocery store and found really good deals on a whole lot of things we needed (but could have waited on)...I went a little nuts.

Am I alone on this? Has anyone else totally blown their budget in this manner and then felt absolutely rotten about it, including insomnia, upset stomach, the works?

I've got something of a plan worked out, but I don't know how well it will work out at this point. I have set down a list of what needs to be paid, and marked the most important ones at this point. The others, I will have to contact the 'powers that be' on and see if they can give me a little more time. There are 2 major bills that need to be paid this week, if possible, and I'm finding myself about $230 short of paying them, let alone the rest of the bills I will need to get paid in the next week or so, plus the next month's rent and other normal bills. (In the meantime, I'm listing like a madwoman on Ebay and hoping to make some decent sales in the next week to at least offset some of this mess.)

I know where I failed on this - I didn't set the money aside as soon as I got it, and it got spent. The majority of the expenditures were needed food items, but it could have been pared down dramatically, to say the least. I've probably got the equivalent of about 5 months worth of meat in my freezer right now, and while seeing it there is a good feeling, seeing my nearly emtpy wallet is not.

Sorry for the long post - I guess I just needed to vent and get this written (typed) out to get it off my chest. Being a single parent really stinks sometimes, because not only do you not have someone to talk to in times like these, you also don't have someone to be the voice of reason and rein you in when you go a little haywire!

[Cricketlegs]

Bless your heart! You are right, you are not the first woman to go nuts and lose it and buy--gasp-- FOOD!

I hope it all works out and good luck with Ebay.

[earthymom]

I bet your son enjoyed the shopping spree with Mom. What a treat to eat out and stock the cupboards and freezer. Please don't beat yourself up too much.

Single parenthood is tough -- and lonely sometimes. I know that unpaid bills can be an enormous source of stress. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself everything will work out. I hope everything you put on eBAY sells quickly.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[freebs]

Hugs to you, have been there and done that, so sick and tired of nothing in the house i hvae spent my dh whole check buying groceries and not paying billls that i had to get a loan from a family member to pay my bills . Good luck with the ebay sales!

[MVS0122]

I agree with earthymom- your son probably enjoyed the day you spent together, you didn't buy anything outlandish, and you have a plan for what to do next. You could have done a lot worse! Good luck with ebay.

[emily_hope]

I am sure your son enjoyed his day with you. With purchasing the food, at least that will help you down the road. You won't be having to purchase meats for quite some time. I am sure something will work our for you to pay the bills, maybe all your ebay items will sell quickly. You shouldn't stress so much, especially making yourself sick over it. Think positive thoughts. (((HUGS)))

[suebeehoney]

thanks everyone, so much! Your support here is a major help for me. I'm feeling a little better about things this morning (though very tired!), and have to head to work - so at least I'll have something to keep my mind occupied today so I don't get too far involved in this mentally/emotionally.

I'm going to be working on my Ebay listings every night this week in an effort to get the major piles of stuff I have listed, and I'll make most of them 3-5 day listings instead of 7 to try and bring money in a little quicker.

I really appreciate everyone's support and well-wishes! And you're right - at least I won't have to purchase major groceries anytime soon!

[Darlene]

Glad today is a better day for you. You and your son had a good time on relatively little money, you got food which is a necccesity and your on your way to earning some money with ebay. Sounds like a lot of positive things got done & will get done.
Don't be too hard on yourself.

[jamie79]

Look at it this way... you have lots of food and you spent time with your son. That alone is priceless.

[favesis37]

hugs! i did the same thing, had all these plans then blew the money, still kicking myself, but it does no good.

[cissylu]

It happen`s to a lot of us. I`m one of the worst.
at least you and your son ate out and you`ve got food . and a plan so good luck. and don`t beat your self up about it.

[VanVivCam]

hello....totally understand what you went thru. don't be hard on yourself and make some wonderful dinners with your son.

the money will come to you.....you are working on it.

[larabelle]

Look at it this way... you have lots of food and you spent time with your son. That alone is priceless.

I completely agree!!
I have the same problem on spending my money on things which it is not intended for. I have found that I have to discipline myself to the point that the minute I get the money I have to make out the check and mail each bill. I can not plan to do it the next day or later in the day. I have to do it right away or else I will spend the money on other things.

[FrugalWitch]

Aw sweety, I believe everyone has done something similar at one time or another. Nothing can open my wallet quicker than a diminished stockpile or bare cupboards.

You have a tidy stash of food now, and that is good as prices continue to rise. You didn't shop on an empty stomach, which is also good. Shopping for food when you're starving is a guarantee to overspend. So, really it may not be as awful as you think.

[JPolito830]

I agree...its happens to the best of us!