What would you do if you were in this situation?

**frugalandsimple** · 06-29-2008, 04:46 PM

There was this guy in his early 20's from another campsite that noone knew who invited himself over to one of my friend's campsite. The guy was talking on and on about stuff and his problems. He would even invite himself to hang out with whatever we were doing on the campground. He had no patience and would stop by several times throughout the day and talk. On top of that, he talks LOUD, almost like yelling. One of my friends noticed that he was wearing a hearing aid. I was also thinking maybe that he may be mentally challenged because he mentioned that was in Special Olympics. I avoided him by not talking to him or doing something else if possible

Once, the guy came over on my campsite to one of my friends and he wouldn't leave when I told him to. I was irriated with my friend because he was by me when I told the guy to leave. I didn't want to walk all the way down to the office and report him because I didn't want to cause a scene.

I don't care if people from other campsites visit if they know when to leave. The guy didn't have very good social skills at all. He even tried to invite himself to eat dinner with us but my friend said no. I don't know why his parents didn't do anything about it since they knew he was hanging around us so much. I didn't go on vacation to hear someone I don't even know talk about their life story and problems.

I said something to his dad which didn't go too well. I was scared since I was by myself and by the tone of his voice the guy's dad didn't sound like a nice person.

My friends talked about him but did nothing about it. Yeah, I could of stayed on my own campsite when he was around but the guy was talked so loud that I could hear him from mine.

**Jamauk** · 06-29-2008, 05:41 PM

Since talking to his dad didn't work, I wouldn't gone to the camp host (or office) and reported it. Gently explain the situation and asked if they could politely request that he only join other groups if invited to do so...

**freebs** · 06-29-2008, 05:52 PM

**suki** · 06-29-2008, 05:56 PM

I'm chuckling because, around here... it's just what we call being neighborly. We'd probably would have pulled up a chair, asked him a lot of questions... gotten to know him a bit, invited him to dinner.

**Jamauk** · 06-29-2008, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by Jamauk

Since talking to his dad didn't work, I wouldn't gone to the camp host (or office) and reported it. Gently explain the situation and asked if they could politely request that he only join other groups if invited to do so...

DOH! I just reread my post...the word "wouldn't" should read "would've" sorry.

**Darlene** · 06-29-2008, 07:35 PM

I agree with Jessica, being polite & kind is one thing & being annoying is another. You asked nicely for him to move on and he did not & his father was of no help. You were being neighborly but that doesn't mean you have to be entertaining someone, anyone, when you do not want to.

**LexTysMommy** · 06-29-2008, 08:52 PM

I wouldve told the office too after you tried to talk to his dad. If he was invited or offered something in return for his being, food drinks, etc, maybe I wouldve let him stay IF he wasnt being annoying. But he was so..good riddance. (hugs) sorry you had to deal with this. I wish your friends wouldve stood up to him also.

**cab54** · 06-29-2008, 08:52 PM

I agree with Suki.

**Greebo** · 06-29-2008, 08:58 PM

Originally Posted by suki

I'm chuckling because, around here... it's just what we call being neighborly. We'd probably would have pulled up a chair, asked him a lot of questions... gotten to know him a bit, invited him to dinner.

Neighborly is visiting occasionally and knowing when to leave, not visiting all the time and sticking around even when asked to go. This guy sounds like he's been visiting excessively.

I'm with Jamauk - involve the campground administration.

**Nishu** · 06-29-2008, 09:14 PM

Originally Posted by suki

I'm chuckling because, around here... it's just what we call being neighborly. We'd probably would have pulled up a chair, asked him a lot of questions... gotten to know him a bit, invited him to dinner.

Oh my... call me a meanie, but there's no way I'd encourage that kind of guest. It sounds like they put up with him long enough anyway. Talking loudly and rudely, inviting himself to your campsite and for meals, getting snippy when you ask him to leave? No thank you. The whole situation does not sound safe to me.

I don't know what could help in that situation... it sounds as though if you involved the campground office you might have woken up to an TP'd tent or something.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-29-2008, 09:22 PM

That poor guy. Have some compassion.
He doesn't know any better.
He has special needs that most people have difficulty understanding how to deal with.
If a man in a wheelchair came over - and let's say he had spastic Cerebral Palsy and spoke loudly because he could not express his words well in a whisper - with arms flailing uncontrollably - scaring you.. would you toss him on his way?

Mr. HOH was being friendly. I'm sure he could have accepted simple orders like .. 'Joe, you need to keep your voice down - you are too loud' "Joe, let's talk about something else"

Now the reality as most people see it. (like my husband!)
I'm sorry that he became overbearing - that certainly was the dad's responsiblity to help control. That's were the problem lies.
A private talk with the dad was needed. If nothing changed.. absolutely a visit to the office.
Its your campsite ~ you paid for it ~ you're entitled to enjoy it. If you can't enjoy it because of his presence... then it's absolutely okay to ask for assistance from the staff.

**Nishu** · 06-29-2008, 09:34 PM

I'm very compassionate, I swear.

But having a disabled person speak loudly or move awkwardly because he isn't physically able to do otherwise is completely different than a person who is confrontational and stubborn and just happens to be disabled.

**Holly** · 06-30-2008, 07:17 AM

He talked loud because of the hearing aid I'm sure.
I do also because of hearing problems.
Like Frugal Nurse said he propably needed a simple Joe you need to go back with your dad now. You can visit tomorrow.
I have lived around people like that all my life ( my nephew was in special olympics)
Sorry you had an unpleasant camping trip.

**Kitten20** · 06-30-2008, 07:28 AM

I agree completely with FN. I am a caregiver for mentally challenged adults, so I am around this type of behavior every day. I can see how it may have been scary/overwhelming if you are not used to it, though. Shame on his dad for not dealing with the situation, imo!

**mombottoo** · 06-30-2008, 12:04 PM

Sorry you didn't have a pleasant camping trip, but to me it sounds like you allowed a handicapped person's behavior dictate your enjoyment.

As the mom of a young man with different abilities I sympathize with both your plight and the young man's who was apparently wearing out his welcome during your camping trip. Sometimes people like my son do not have the capability of realizing when they are being inappropriate. I could also see my son doing exactly what this young man did, in the hopes that the people he was trying to associate with would actually be friendly towards him and include him in what they were doing. My son lacks certain social skills which makes it difficult for him to make friends and when people finally treat him like he "belongs" he over compensates...which tends to turn people off (if you know what I mean).

I have no idea what you said to the young man's dad, but if what you wrote here is any idication I can understand why the dad may have felt you were trying to get rid of his son, due to his being handicapped. I remember a camping trip we went on back in 2003 a couple of years after my son's accident. He was walking his dog and I was trailing behind him...he noticed a group of young people and he said hi to them and he was ignored...he continued on his way and as I passed the group I heard them making some not so nice comments about the "retard"...for me as a parent nothing hurts my heart more than the lonliness my son suffers because he is different from the so called normal people. My son did hear the comments made that day and he has heard many comments since that day. Perhaps your friends being kind to this young man will be something he will remember as making this camping trip fun for him.