Acceptable Amount For Engagement Rings/Wedding Rings?

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 07-02-2008, 09:53 AM

Need some advice on something. DF wants to go to a jewler and get my set. I always assumed I would just get one from walmart or somewhere like that. There are some beautiful sets there for 300-500ish instead of the much much higher price we would have to spend at a jewler. I'm sure the quality of everything is much better there but considering I already have kids from my first marriage I'm already pretty hard on my rings so I would be worried about that, not to mention if I lost it. Guess I would have to buy insurance,ugh, just doesn't seem worth it.
DF has alot of debt between a truck, student loans,a few credit cards from several years ago. We're really working on a post-marriage budget to get at least the credit cards entirely paid off while still paying what needs to be paid on the others. I just don't feel I need to add more debt to that you know? DF says "Well if you're going to wear it forever, it ought to be good quality and I would to get you a cheap ring and then you resent me for the fact that we're still paying off some of the stupid "toys" he felt me needed over the years"
What do yall think? Go ahead and let him buy an expensive ring? He said "Well aint the rule 2 months pay? Which would be about 4500?" Crazy Crazy Crazy. Do I have a leg to stand on here with not wanting an expensive ring or should I just let him buy me whatever he wants?

**Greebo** · 07-02-2008, 09:59 AM

Cheap rings can be replaced later. Our wedding bands, and ceashel's engagement ring, are silver, from a designer she loves, and cost us about $150 for the three. We never intend to replace them.

A pretty rock on your finger that won't be worth half the sticker price, let alone a quarter of what it costs with interest, ain't worth it.

**AmyBoz** · 07-02-2008, 10:09 AM

To each his own, is my motto in all things jewelry related.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 07-02-2008, 10:11 AM

DH and I actually got our rings at Wal-Mart mostly because our wedding was last minute. I think we spend 150 for all three on ours and that was in 2002 in North Dakota. They're really durable and we spent about 40 dollars to have them both fitted. I haven't had any problems with mine.

**Cricket1** · 07-02-2008, 10:13 AM

Typically, jewelry isn't an investment meaning that it won't go up in value. Yes, recently the price of gold has gone up.

My set (which I love) cost about $500 for the engagement ring, wedding ring, and (later) anniversary band. We got it from Service Merchandise when it was around.

I say (especially where there's debt), go for the cheaper set. Ten years down the road, he could buy you a more expensive piece of jewelry for an anniversary if he wanted.

**PrairieRose** · 07-02-2008, 10:19 AM

Since we're all frugal here...and since so many of us love 2nd use things.....you really should check out the pawn shops. I mean, yeah, they're used...but my goodness when was the last time you stayed in a hotel that bought new linens just for you?
My brother owns a pawn shop and I can tell ya that some of the jewelry that comes through there is to die for. You could buy a very nice set for way less than 1/2 the price of a jewelry store and who in the world would ever know? You could even take it to a jewelry store, have it polished up, engraved if you'd like and you'd still have a wonderful bargain, beautiful set. A little secret that only the 2 of you will ever know

. (and like a car, it's used as soon as you take it out of the store anyway right? it's not like you could ever resell it and get what you paid for it)

ETA
Oh, and "acceptable" is whatever you will be happy with. It's about the commitment to the man, not the minerals on your finger, right?

**Mamaof2rugrats** · 07-02-2008, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

Since we're all frugal here...and since so many of us love 2nd use things.....you really should check out the pawn shops. I mean, yeah, they're used...but my goodness when was the last time you stayed in a hotel that bought new linens just for you?
My brother owns a pawn shop and I can tell ya that some of the jewelry that comes through there is to die for. You could buy a very nice set for way less than 1/2 the price of a jewelry store and who in the world would ever know? You could even take it to a jewelry store, have it polished up, engraved if you'd like and you'd still have a wonderful bargain, beautiful set. A little secret that only the 2 of you will ever know

. (and like a car, it's used as soon as you take it out of the store anyway right? it's not like you could ever resell it and get what you paid for it)

ETA
Oh, and "acceptable" is whatever you will be happy with. It's about the commitment to the man, not the minerals on your finger, right?

Well that's a good idea. I hadn't thought of that. I really know I will be so much happier with something we could go to the store and purchase with money in hand. It's just not worth it to me to pay it off for years but yet I keep feeling like I'm butting in and should just let him pick it out. I'll mention this idea and look a bit. Thanks.

**Lady_V** · 07-02-2008, 10:24 AM

You have to wear it... what do YOU want to wear? If you get the more expensive set, it can still get banged around. It wasn't what you really wanted anyways.

Do you have to have an engagement ring? The reason I ask is, you can get a lovely diamond wedding band. It costs more than a plain gold band but far less than a solitaire. You are already concerned with damages.

**tammy88** · 07-02-2008, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by PrairieRose

Since we're all frugal here...and since so many of us love 2nd use things.....you really should check out the pawn shops. I mean, yeah, they're used...but my goodness when was the last time you stayed in a hotel that bought new linens just for you?
My brother owns a pawn shop and I can tell ya that some of the jewelry that comes through there is to die for. You could buy a very nice set for way less than 1/2 the price of a jewelry store and who in the world would ever know? You could even take it to a jewelry store, have it polished up, engraved if you'd like and you'd still have a wonderful bargain, beautiful set. A little secret that only the 2 of you will ever know

. (and like a car, it's used as soon as you take it out of the store anyway right? it's not like you could ever resell it and get what you paid for it)

ETA
Oh, and "acceptable" is whatever you will be happy with. It's about the commitment to the man, not the minerals on your finger, right?

i agree

i dont know what my husband paid for my engagement ring..its almost a whole carrot..marquise cut..but i do know that when i found out i was pregnant we really had to rush things with no money so we went to a pawn shop and tired to pick out bands that didnt have any markings on them..i think we paid $30-40 for both

after getting it on one day i looked at it and the inside says bud & blossom 14k..so i dont know if thats someones name or a company..LOL

i did get my husband a new one a few years later from Kays it was that titanuim and its cost $79.00

**mombottoo** · 07-02-2008, 10:29 AM

The ring is a gift from him to you, so I say let him spend what "he" can afford without putting the "both" of you into more debt. If he can't afford to purchase an expensive ring without putting both of you into more debt then I think your wishes should be followed.

My first wedding band came from K-mart...I loved that ring, but it did get lost. I'm not wearing a ring now, because the replacement set broke & I haven't got around to having it fixed.

**Darlene** · 07-02-2008, 10:38 AM

Don't forget that you don't have to go the diamond route. Plenty of other stones out there that are beautiful too.

I never wear my engagment ring because it was a pain, had to replace prongs a couple times. It just sticks up and gets in the way. Simple gold band is good enough for me.

Hope you find just what you want.

**Momof4cats** · 07-02-2008, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by Darlene

Don't forget that you don't have to go the diamond route. Plenty of other stones out there that are beautiful too.

I never wear my engagment ring because it was a pain, had to replace prongs a couple times. It just sticks up and gets in the way. Simple gold band is good enough for me.

Hope you find just what you want.

This is true. Princess Diana had a sapphire set with diamonds, and the Duchess of York (Sarah Ferguson) had a ruby set with diamonds. If it's good enough for royalty.....

My manager recently proposed to his girlfriend, and he spent about $5000 on the ring (diamond solitare). And he deliberated about going higher. I'll probably be getting an engagement ring soon, and he's planning on spending around $500, mainly because he doesn’t have the money to spend more and doesn’t want to go into debt, and also because he knows I’d kill him if he spent that kind of money on a ring! I might run the pawn shop idea by him. A friend of mine adds on to his wife’s ring on special anniversaries. I think for the 10th he put diamonds around the center stone (ruby).

But no, I would definitely try to talk him out of going in hock for a ring just because it’s supposed to be special and the diamond industry has put a guilt trip on guys, thinking it’s not special enough if they don’t drop a lot of dough on it. Tell him that if he goes into debt for the thing, seeing it on your finger would only be a reminder of that.

**shoiji** · 07-02-2008, 10:57 AM

Definately discuss how you feel about the ring. You can look at pawn shops, walmart, jewelry store going out of business, warehouse places. If you go with something nice and simple now he can always buy a large diamond ring later once your finances are straightened out. It is sweet that he wants to buy something now but you are the one that will be wearing the ring so it is best to get a ring you would want to wear.

I am sure you will figure out the best thing to do.

**Michelle** · 07-02-2008, 11:02 AM

I'd do like others have suggested and get something simple and inexpensive. If you feel the need to replace it, you can do so further on down the line--maybe as an anniversary gift.

**heartofmine** · 07-02-2008, 11:07 AM

Hi and congratulations on your engagement. I would let him do what he wants on the engagement ring. The only suggestion I have is to consider comfort fit wedding bands. They are a bit more but are so comfortable. I have fibro and arthritis and because of that I couldn't wear my regular wedding band anymore. We just had our 25th wedding anniversary and my husband bought me a beautiful gold comfort fit wedding band. I can wear it and it doesn't hurt. The underside is round instead of flat so it doesn't cut into your finger. Its a huge difference.