Ahhhhhhhh! Dont know what to do?!

[lauraashley2006]

Ok, So I really needed a place to vent and get advice .... so here it goes.. I am having issues trying to figure out which "Ashley" I want to be. I am trapped between 2 and I am losing sleep everyday over this. So I am gonna describe each Ashley toyou and go from there.

Ashley #1: I really want to go to nursing school. I do already have a degree in Pharmacy Technology and I work as a tech, but I feel like I don't help people enough. I would get finincal aid and all that jazz, and I am positive that an RN is my carreer of choice.

Ashley#2: I love love love being a mother. It is the best job God ever blessed me with being able to have. I want to buy a house. Not a big one, but I want one. I love the simple things in life, and I am slowly learning that you dont have to have money to be happy.
I want another baby.

My delimia: I can't currently have both. If I go to and jump in full-force to get into nursing school, I cant work full time thus we can't buy a home for a few years. If i go to nursing school, my husband won't let me get my IUD taken out bc then we would have to pay for daycare for 2 kids. I am scared to go to nursing school, bc I missed my daughter "firsts" (steps, words, etc... cause I was in school). I don't know if I can handle the guilt of not being able to spend much time with her.

My other delimia: Between my husband and I currently we make about 44000 a year. It feels like much less cause of taxes and insurance, etc... If I went to nursing school, thing would be finincally rough for a few years, but then I would be making alot more money. I don't know..... i just donot know.

What do you all think?

[The Muse]

I advocate the education route. You're only 25 and there's plenty of time for more babies. Going back to school and becoming an RN will make it even easier for you to get a house, raise your family, etc.

Raising a family on $44K/year isn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

[Greebo]

You are 25.

You can have children into your late 30's with not too much risk.

Would you, then, rather live a life doing something you love for a career, or a job you hate so you can have what you want now?

I'm leaning on the delayed gratification so you can have a career you're motivated about, m'self.

[Marie78]

It sounds like you are making big decisions in your life, which is great . If you had another baby, would you still be able to go back to nursing school when both children were closer to school age? That might give you more time to focus on school, if the children were in school already too. I know nursing school is a huge committment and you don't want to miss out on your little ones, while they are little Good luck with your decisions.

[AmyBoz]

I have to go the education route, as well. You are only 25 and have many years ahead of you. Pursue your dream. You'd hate to look back and think "What if?"

[rachelj]

I teach for a university that is helping people get their BSN (RN) thru an "accelerated program". Basically, classes are offered one class at a time, one night a week for 4 hours. They are set up this way for people who are working to get their degree. So like when I teach a class it would be say every Tuesday from 6-10 pm for 5 weeks. I have no clue what kind of training a pharm. tech. has but you would probably be able to transfer credits etc.

There are programs out there like this. Obviously when it came time for clinicals things would change but that is only one year compared to the whole time.

Just a thought...

[prftstrngr]

Im with everyone on the education..... then you will be better able to support the children you chose to have. Its not going to take forever and may be more affordable now with just one child as opposed to trying to go to school and study and care for 2 or 3 children....follow your *RN* dream and the rest will fall into place!!

[FrugalMomof3]

I am at a cross between really. I think education is super important and as you said you already have a degree in Pharmacy Technology and a Tech which if you found the right job you would be helping people AND getting the pay you deserve.

I think raising a child or just having a child is a special gift, you should be there for your children always but you can't you wait to go to nursing school until the children go to pre-school/kindergarden?

If it were me, I would personally put my education on hold for my child or children if you plan to have more as they need me more. Once they were old enough to go to school I would then pursue a career as an RN. This is just my opinion.

IF you dont plan on having a child in the very near future than I would choose just the opposite and go to school part-time, work part-time so I can be with my child.

Also, raising 1 child and even 2 children on 44,000 a year isn't hard at all, my DH made LESS than that and we live fine, we paid child support of $560 per month + $885 mortgage, bills, cell phones., etc... it is very doable.

[Nishu]

Ok, I know this is against the grain here, but I'm going to have to offer a different opinion.

I had my first two within 3 years of each other. I thought I was done, and I loved it. I was going to move up here to Washington, put my youngest in preschool and completely focus on my education. It was very nice, to know that I was done waiting and I could start focusing on myself for awhile.

I really liked the fact that I had my kids young, that I had my family complete at a fairly young age. My girls are close in age and I too love being a mom, so the added stress of going to school with the kids is no big thing.

Of course, Lily came as a surprise so she kind of threw off my plans, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I know that everyone is saying you have a long time to have babies, but really you have even longer to go to school.

I think the big question here is, is nursing a 'dream' type job, or a necessity type job? In order for you and your family to be financially secure, do you have to make the jump to RN, or can you chill for awhile and live on your current income, even with adding a baby.

And are you sure that you'll be able to just jump right into motherhood after you're done with school? Are you going to feel comfortable getting a job as a nurse and then taking off the time to have another baby, or are you going to have to put off the baby-having for another couple years after you're done with school?

Is there any way you could merge the two plans? It may be possible to go to school online for the core subjects. You wouldn't even have to be a nursing major. You could go in as something like a science major and work on any kind of classes common to the two degrees and take the classes online. Would that be an option?

[DJ1972]

I am an LPN and was often asked why I didn't go back to school for my RN degree. For me, raising my kids was my first priority. That being said, I think this is a very personal decision that you have to make all on your own. With either option you are going to have to make a sacrifice. After weighing both options, which one will you regret the least in 20 years?

[Jellybeanz]

Yea, a really personal decision here.... but you asked sooo.. I'd definately go for the education first. I personally found it to be extremely hard to attend college with school age kids, and of course, I didn't start till after the last one ( I had two) started kindergarten. Actually I never got to finish because I had to have emergency surgery the very day I got accepted into nursing school and then my youngest got very sick and had 5 surgeries in the span of like 7 years that totally put him out of school so I had to homeschool.

I could go back now, but honestly somewhere along the way thru all this I lost my drive for it . I'm a perfectionist, nothing less than all A's would do fo me , but back then that's what it took. I don't know about now. I found my niche at a home business but I don't make nearly what an RN would make nor have the benefits.

My point is, kinda like what everyone else said.. kids can be put off ( but it's not a SURE thing there either, you gotta take that into consideriation) but education, once gotten will be with you from now on. And you'll be able to work your shifts, come home, enjoy you kids instead of intense studying when you are home.


Just my two cents.. I wish you the best with either decision, I know this one is a toughie...

[Darlene]

I'd gather more info. I like rachelj's idea about seeing what ways there are to get that education.
Good luck & keep us posted!

[LuvMyHubby]

I think I would opt for doing a bit more research on the education, like what Gen Eds you have already taken will transfer and what pharmacology classes etc. perhaps you won't have to put as many credit hours as you think. Also, online courses through the institution you plan on attending. Perhaps you may be able to get your education done more quickly and then find a job and take a shot for the additional child. Whichever direction you go either school or work you are bound to miss a few things in your childrens lives, that is something that goes with the territory.

I think that it is a very personal decision and you have to do what you feel is right for your family. Good luck in whatever you decide.

[zakity]

These are questions that pop into my mind. They are things to ask of yourself and not really answer on here.

How important is it to you that your children are close in age?

Would you be happy being a pharm tech for a few more years?

Can you switch your hours so that you don't have daycare to pay for the other child? (Side note: I am looking into going to school to be a pharm tech because I can work at night and still be able to be home during the day with the boys because we homeschool.)

What would make you happier, another child or nursing school?

Which path makes you feel more at peace with yourself?

Is it worth it to put off schooling to have another child?

Is it worth it to do the schooling and have the child later?

What does your DH think/want to do?

Could you handle a demanding job (I always considered being a nurse demanding) and having a young child? Would you be happy with that lifestyle?


Hmmm... That is all I can think of.

I wanted to be a CPA. It didn't work out for me. We had kids before we could afford them and I didn't get a chance to go back to school. And then, we had to homeschool them (crappy school district and learning issues in the mix). Being a CPA is not what calls me now. I am sort of lost as to what I really want to do, but being a pharm tech would be a good fit and the hours would work well for the family.

[heartofmine]

Another question I'd ask myself is with already having children am I going to have time to do the studying necessary to be a nurse and still have time for my children.
Also nurses work long hours. Are you willing to be away from your children working those long hours?

Its going to be a personal decision and everyone is going to give you a different answer. Myself I should have went back to school to teach before I had children but at the time I didn't know what I wanted. After my children came along I wasn't willing to be away from them to go to school. Now that my children are both in college I'm ill and can't go to school let alone work. I *wish* I had gone to school before children but I don't regret staying home with them and raising them. I've got 2 wonderful kids.