Help!! Need Some Advice and Support-long

**Hamada** · 07-29-2008, 05:41 PM

I may be moving to another apartment in the same complex. The reason is that my neighbor insists on saying things to me when I go to open my door to get in. Plus he does other things. I would post what is said but nothing is suitable in polite company. I have spoken to three people who work in the mental health profession and they all say "sounds like the person hasn't taken their medication". One went so far to say sounds like they are obsessed with you. WHAT???? I have been called many things in my lifetime but all those times warning bells did not go off in my head like this time(s). It is the kind of creepiness that you get when you watch hannibal. So to take care of this matter I get to move or stay here. (Which really peeves me since I am not causing the problem.) The money is not that much of an issue since I can use the money I saved for a computer to move. Have called the utilities, directv, and moving companies to see about costs and everything seems ok so far. Not sure what the complex will say if I have to pay additional money to transfer. Lease is up in end of September. One of the things I need to do is fill out a complaint form that will be sent to the complex's lawyers for the reason I want to transfer.

Anyway I am starting to get sick over this. Fortunately I do have someone helping me with the complex issues. One of my concerns is that they will slap an additional $200 fee for me to move. Which just angers me since I moved in here and nothing was done to begin with. I had to sign a waiver before I moved in saying I knew nothing had been done to the place. Was in a hurry to move which is another story. Have been here for years and have no idea the amount of time other tenant lived here.

So I am pretty sure I will be moving. I have to wait to hear what the lawyers have to say. I live on a very limited income and this moving was definately not something I was anticipating which is also adding to the stress. But I can't help and feel that for my sanity and safety I should do it. Would rather do it now before another shoe dropped and I was in some kind of danger.

Do you think I am over reacting and should just tough it out or just start packing now and say bye bye and be greatful I have the money to move now. My frugal side of me is screaming because I have to spend money on this. LOL Also if you have any suggestions on how I can save money on this move let me know. (Having friends move me is not an option.) Right now I am stressed and having trouble seeing straight.

Thanks for listening.

PS: I hope I don't sound unsympathetic to people with mental illness. Don't mean to sound that way. Right now I just feel like I am in need to protect myself mode.

**Michelle68** · 07-29-2008, 05:49 PM

It sounds like you definitely are doing the right thing in moving. What I'm concerned about is that you will still be in the same complex and he may still harass you. Have you filed a police report? If not, please do and show it to the manager of the complex. I would think they would rather accomodate your move (even out of the complex), than take a chance that something happen and they possibly be sued. This is a scary situation, please be careful and keep us updated.

--Michelle

**Shoshana** · 07-29-2008, 06:02 PM

I agaree with Michelle. Document the occurrences of inappropriate comments/behaviors with the apartment management and police department. I think it's important to listen to those warning bells. Your safety and peace of mind most important.

Are you sure you'd be safe and feel comfortable living in another unit in the same apartment?

**Hamada** · 07-29-2008, 06:46 PM

There are apartments in a different court. The reason I would like to stay in these apartments is one price, location to everything I need. Don't have a car and getting one is not an option. There are other complex's that are less money but unfortunately have a higher crime and gang related violence. Where I am now is a pretty safe place. But thanks for stating this since it has crossed my mind. Upstairs apartment would be better. The ones available are downstairs (supposedly). Might as well say hello, come on in with a downstairs apartment.

**prftstrngr** · 07-29-2008, 06:47 PM

I'd definately move..... not sure I would stay in the same complex though? Do you run into this person anywhere else? or just as you come and go? I would also file a complaint with the police and keep track of dates and times this happens. Maybe management would be more willing to have the other tenant move if there were police involved?? Be careful!!

**Hamada** · 07-29-2008, 07:35 PM

The only time I see the person is sometimes around the complex area down the street, obviously around my apartment. I try to keep my distance and be as friendly as possible. Know things could really go south if I started confronting the SOB.

**jamie79** · 07-29-2008, 07:37 PM

Yep I would get the cops involved too. Good luck

**C@rol** · 07-29-2008, 07:47 PM

But I can't help and feel that for my sanity and safety I should do it. Would rather do it now before another shoe dropped and I was in some kind of danger.

Do you think I am over reacting and should just tough it out or just start packing now and say bye bye and be greatful I have the money to move now.

I agree with you. Your safety and sanity are of the utmost importance. And no, I do not think you are overreacting. I think you are properly reacting to take care of and protect yourself. Have you filed police reports so that this is on record. I apologize if I you answered this question already. All the best to you.

**wanderinggrandma** · 07-29-2008, 08:24 PM

I would carry a recorder and tape what this guy is saying. I would then let the managers hear it right after the police heard it.

My personal feelings are that any time I get that gut feeling or the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up, I better darn well heed the warning.

You need to talk with the police and get their advice. My middle DD had a male room mate that after 4 years started to do VERY inappropriate things when her DH was out of town. My buddy the police sargent said she had to verbally tell him to knock it off and THEN if it continued the police could step in. She was pretty upset and didn't want to confront him by herself and of course he never did these things when DH was in town. Her DH told him he had to move out ASAP, but then he started calling late at night and would hang-up when DD answered the phone. If she ignored it he would just keep calling back. Again DH confronted him and he denied it. But that finally stopped the calls.

Maybe if the police talked to him it would help. Good Luck.

**Ceashels** · 07-29-2008, 09:00 PM

Definitely tell the man to stop and if you can hold the tape recorder up (after you start recording some of what he says) and tell him directly to stop. Then take it to the management, DO NOT GIVE THEM THE TAPE, make a copy and then contact the police. The apartment complex should be able to accommodate a move into another building without much trouble as it is a safety issue and you really don't want to move. Remind them of how many years you have been there and plan on staying longer but you feel you safety is in jeopardy. I would think that the management would rather a person be safe then have things on tape and documented with the police should anything occur, they could be sued for some part of liability.

Be Safe.

**StaceyS** · 07-29-2008, 09:29 PM

I agree with what everyone has said. You always need to listen to that inner voice - It's always right! I've done a few "unfrugal" moves because of this exact reason. Listen to yourself - you'll be happy you did!

**Hamada** · 07-29-2008, 10:43 PM

Thanks everyone for you support. I am normally asleep by now but am still wound up. Anyway, I am really concerned about calling the police on this matter. I really do think it will cause more problems. I am pretty much resigned to the fact I will be moving. UUUUGGHGHGHHHH! Everyones advice is exactly what I would be telling someone else in the same situation. Just need to find out a few more details before moving.

Thanks again.

**Libby** · 07-30-2008, 12:35 AM

I dont see what harm it would do to contact to the police to see what you 'technically' need to do should something start up. If everything is documented the way they suggested including your visit to the police station then they can just 'act' on your behalf vs starting from the beginning and pro-longing everything. Besides, maybe others have complained as well but are afraid to contact the landlord/police or even have this problem properly documented.

If you truly are that bothered, scared and upset...how are you harming yourself in protecting yourself?

JMO

**Hamada** · 07-30-2008, 07:26 AM

I have thought about getting a tape recorder. Not sure if it will pick up what the person is saying. I am worried about calling the police since if they get involved it could just anger the person. If someone is not in their right mind no warnings from the police will stop them. It is easy to say well atleast you notified someone. Would rather just have a nice quiet move where the person has no idea they are the reason. Which to me means less fuel for the fire in an individual who is unstable. Think about it. If the person decides to harass me where I move. Yup, then the police will be called.