UPDATE to Irresponsible Adult Kid thread..

**suebeehoney** · 08-08-2008, 09:35 PM

I decided to post a new thread, since the other was getting rather long.

First, let me say THANK YOU to everyone who posted suggestions, caring thoughts, promised to pray, or simply voiced support for me in this situation.

If you haven't read the original thread, it's here:

[ame="http://www.frugalvillage.com/forums/showthread.php?t=106204"]Irresponsible Adult Kid (WARNING - RANT!) - Frugal Village Forums[/ame]

If you don't care to read it, the long and short is that my DD20 is living with her fiancee in another state, after living with me, her dad, back with me, then the fiancee's mom, and now in their own apartment. But they have used everyone along the way, and are now in serious financial trouble, including possible eviction from their apartment very soon. I strongly suspect there are drugs/alcohol involved, as all the signs are there. They're both extremely irresponsible with money, like paying the cell phone bill instead of the rent.

Fast forward to today:

The fiancee's mom called today, and everything DD20 told me about making arrangements to pay the rent yesterday, getting a new job in housekeeping at a motel and everything being 'fine' was a total lie. (Which I pretty much knew, but it was nice of her to at least confirm it.)

DD20 and her fiancee have not paid the rent. It was due yesterday. Their cell phones are now turned off for non-payment. The fiancee's mom was going to talk to them today to see if they were also about to have their utilities turned off for non-payment, since everything else was going unpaid.

Things are rapidly approaching rock bottom for them, and I don't know where they are going to end up. I do know they are not coming back here to my house. Been there, done that, and it took me almost 4 months to catch up after they left.

Please just keep a prayer and good thought in mind for them - and me - as this progresses. I wish I could just leave this alone for a couple of weeks, as Darlene suggested - but I simply need to know that my DD will be someplace safe - and the only truth I am getting from anyone involved is from the fiancee's mom.

**Greebo** · 08-08-2008, 09:45 PM

It's tough, but you're doing the right thing. DD is going to have to grow up very quickly.

**Jamauk** · 08-08-2008, 09:48 PM

This has to be horrible for you. I can completely understand your needing to know where DD is ~ as any mother would.

But you are doing the right thing. Its a hard lesson to learn, but I have faith that in there somewhere is the amazing young woman that you raised and she will learn this lesson quickly and get started on turning her life around.

You, your family and your DD will be in my thoughts.

**mombottoo** · 08-08-2008, 09:53 PM

((((hugs)))) I will keep you & your dd in my prayers. I hope that your dd is able to find herself and straighten out her life. I watched my sis do the same thing for years and her behaviors all but ruined my parents financially and emotionally.

Perhaps the bf's mom can suggest they go to a shelter...maybe one that is operated by a church??? We have a rescue mission here and in order to stay you have to attend sermons, etc...

**azangie** · 08-08-2008, 09:55 PM

It's so hard but you have got to let them go and find their own way. I'm learning this the very hard way.

It seems almost tougher on me than on my DS. But I have got to let things happen.

Unfortunately, I'm realising it's better and easier on me if I don't hear from him or even know what's going on.

My thoughts are certainly with you.

**Mom23boys** · 08-08-2008, 10:02 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DD. I know this is part of the tough love of parenting. It is not just tough on the child; I think it is tough on the parent as well.

It is hard to watch your child fail.

**jamie79** · 08-08-2008, 10:09 PM

Helping her would to be to let her hit rock bottom and hard

**Nishu** · 08-09-2008, 12:06 AM

It's all been said, but I just wanted to add I'm still hoping for the best and keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

**HandyMom** · 08-09-2008, 02:51 AM

I'm sending some good thoughts your way. I hope your DD is ok, too.

**Michelle** · 08-09-2008, 07:46 AM

Originally Posted by Mom23boys

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DD. I know this is part of the tough love of parenting. It is not just tough on the child; I think it is tough on the parent as well.

It is hard to watch your child fail.

I agree. I hope she gets her act together *soon*, and you can breathe a sigh of relief.

**cmdarlin** · 08-09-2008, 08:25 AM

Your doing the right thing. Your all in my prayers.

Debbie

**momof2joys** · 08-09-2008, 01:38 PM

Stay strong!! You ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!!!! Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can truly understand what has gone wrong!!

Just keep praying and hoping for the best!! As many of us are already doing for you!!

This is just one of those "bumps" in the road of life for your daughter. You never know what might come of this!!!

Best of luck, and please keep updated whenever you hear any news!!!

**C@rol** · 08-09-2008, 03:18 PM

Sending prayers and hoping your daughter stays safe and wakes up soon and realize this is not the way she was raised. Hang in there.

**Buckeye5** · 08-09-2008, 03:50 PM

I am so sorry that this is getting worse for you, but I do think that you are right about the bottom coming soon. I can only imagine what must be going thru your mind. Hang in there and let us know how things progress. Praying for you and sending you good vibes.