Some opinions, please (sorta long)

**Michelle68** · 08-12-2008, 07:24 PM

Just wanting to pass this by the good people here. My DD (as maybe some will remember) is 20 years old and lives at home. She was born with developmental delays and learning disabilities. She has been in special ed throughout her school career. After high school, because the public schools did not offer such extensive testing, we had her tested through the Texas Department of Assistive and Rehabilitative Services. (DARS) The results of the testing were not a big surprise to us, but it helped to pinpoint what areas of the brain had been affected. It also showed her IQ at 95.

My DD is a great kid and she has always dreamed of being a chef. Unfortunately, she was unable to obtain her Associates in Culinary Arts because she is only on a 5th grade level for math (a specific part of her brain that is affected) and was unable to pass the basic math levels to take the college level math, although she had a "C" average in the other college courses.As a result, she has been working at fast food restaurants and getting very frustrated because they underestimate her abilities and do not give her the amount of hours that she wants.

She has finally realized that fast food is not the way to go if she wants to achieve any kind of independence (which she desperately wants). She has decided to go for Certified Nurses Assistant training. Unfortunately, there is no free training programs in the area and the schools that we have found run around $1000- $1500 for tuition for the 3-4 week program.

She has only been able to save $200 and she's barely making enough money to cover her gas and insurance. She's very frustrated with her job situation and wants to start the program as soon as possible--the next classes start September 1st.

Here are the options--she has made an appointment with her DARS counselor to see if there are any financial aid or grant programs which could help her pay for it. Unfortunately, the guy keeps postponing their meeting and it's getting closer and closer to the date she would have to enroll. She tried applying for a Career enrichment loan through Sallie Mae for $1520, but was not approved because of her lack of credit, income, etc.

Sallie Mae states that she can reapply with a co-signer (us). I have no doubt she'd be approved with us co-signing because we have excellent credit, no debt (except our home), etc. But I am sooo adverse to taking on any debt (even $1520) that the whole idea of co-signing makes me break out in little dollar sign shaped hives.

At the same time, I know this would help her establish some credit.

Another option is dipping into our EF and loaning her the money then having her pay it back when she finishes school and starts working. I am hesitant to do that because we have a goal of building up our EF by January then beginning the process of paying off our house early.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. I just wanted to get some ideas and input from all you fellow Villagers. Thanks in advance!

--Michelle

**elphie** · 08-12-2008, 07:45 PM

When I worked as a CNA the nursing home I worked for paid for my training... many are so desperate for help that this is one of the perks.

I would look at interest rates to determine where the money should come from... If you will be paying more in interest than you are earning in the bank then it only makes sense to use the EF money... however if you think you are going to make a significant dent in the mortgage after building up that EF and the interest on the mortgage is higher than the SL interest then the loan may be the best move. Of course if dd is paying off the loan herself, including interest then that point is moot and you just have to decide what you really feel comfortable with.

I know that others on these boards will disagree but, I think debt accrued to secure a person's future and ability to pursue true hapiness is worth it. I am not talking about the false high of having stuff but the true joy of doing something meaningful.

Normally I don't condone parents risking their own financial stability for a child to pursue an education but this is a very small amount and the rewards will far outweigh the risks in your particular situation. I also think you need to think about where your daughter would be if something happened to you and dh... a certificate that will keep her gainfully employed is an important part of her security.

**Michelle68** · 08-12-2008, 09:20 PM

Elphie, thank you for your thoughtful response. I too thought about how important it is that she have a skill, especially if something should ever happen to my DH and I. I wish there were nursing homes or facilities in our area which would pay for her training, but the only one I've found (and I've called many here in our city) is in a surrounding town about 45 miles away from us and they don't have any classes planned currently.

It's good to hear from a CNA about this. My DD is a very caring individual and she's always been great with older people so I think this type of career would be a good fit for her and she is excited about it. Also, I'm an LVN so I'll be able to help her with her training if she needs it.

Thanks again!

--Michelle

**annymoll** · 08-12-2008, 09:33 PM

You have a wonderful daughter Michelle. You must be so proud.I do not know what anyone else would do, but I would take from my account to assist her. And you should know me well enough to know I would not advise that for just any ole kid.(Grin)

**brainyblonde** · 08-12-2008, 09:35 PM

I am in a similar situation with one of my children. I think $1500 is a small price to pay for your child's chance at a real career and independence. I think it would do so much for her self-esteem. I would use my EF money, and let my child pay me back.

**missyali** · 08-12-2008, 09:52 PM

I think that the benefits GREATLY outweigh the expense. She is worth it! Does she have a 504 (rather than an IEP) now that she is not school age? That should address her math deficits and allow for accommodations to help scaffold her learning to allow her to achieve in her math classes. Best of luck, and when can I come over for a celebratory dinner?

**PrairieRose** · 08-12-2008, 10:50 PM

I would seriously check into what the area nursing homes have to offer as far as 'scholarships' etc..... They are desperate for the workers so I'm agreeing that there may be something out there. I also agree that this is the kind of debt that is worthwhile. If that's the best option for you all, I'd do with it, just making sure that dd understands that she's completely responsible for repaying it.

**IntlMom** · 08-12-2008, 11:05 PM

As a mom of a SN kid, it;s always exciting to see one of our kids "making it"......I'd help her no matter how. It's a small enough amount no matter how you choose to help.

**cissylu** · 08-12-2008, 11:15 PM

Michelle I would also help here no doubt about it. she`s worth it.
this is what she wants. I`d borrow the money if I had to in a heart beat.

**Michelle68** · 08-12-2008, 11:49 PM

Awww, thanks everyone! She really is a very special young lady and I'm always amazed at what she has accomplished in her life. The DARS counselor called her earlier this evening and set a new time for a meeting (again!) for Friday at 9:15 AM. She wants me to go with her and I'm off, thank goodness, so I can be there in case she forgets to ask any questions. We'll wait to see how the meeting goes and then we'll go from there.

In any case, DH and I talked about it tonight and we will find a way to help her attend these classes, one way or another. I'll keep y'all updated.

BTW, Missyali--no, she does not have a 504. How would she go about getting one done?

--Michelle

**Holly** · 08-13-2008, 08:26 AM

Wishing your dd the very best Michelle

**cmdarlin** · 08-13-2008, 08:51 AM

I hope it all works out for your DD, Michelle. This would be a great investment in her future.

Debbie

**Mom23boys** · 08-13-2008, 09:08 AM

Michelle, if she was in special ed in school then she either had an IEP or a 504 Plan. My oldest son had a 504 and my middle son, who is learning delayed, has an IEP. They work almost in the same manner. They both allow for time allotments and work modifications. Even if she had an IEP, she should be able to take the last one she received from high school to a college counselor to receive help. They can not shorten her assignments, but they will allow her to take the test in a testing center away from distractions. I have already went through this process with DS#1 that is the only reason I know this and I am already preparing for DS#2 to go through this. The diagnostician at our high school is already preparing for his transition to college after this year.

As for as funding your daughter's education, I think it is an investment that is well worth it.

Sending good vibes for Friday's meeting. I wish your daughter the best as I know how frustrating it can be.

**thriftstorequeen** · 08-13-2008, 09:14 AM

I do agree with the others that it would be a very good thing to help her out. But I can't get past the dream of hers to be a chef. I was thinking that maybe you could get tin touch with restaurants in your area and see if they could offer her an apprenticeship. Since I tend to be a dreamer I like to follow my dreams.

**elphie** · 08-13-2008, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by thriftstorequeen

I do agree with the others that it would be a very good thing to help her out. But I can't get past the dream of hers to be a chef. I was thinking that maybe you could get tin touch with restaurants in your area and see if they could offer her an apprenticeship. Since I tend to be a dreamer I like to follow my dreams.

What a fantastic idea! I was racking my brain trying to figure out how she could still pursue this avenue; good thinking.

I also want to say, as someone who worked as a CNA, it is rewarding but also physically and emotionally demanding work. Make sure dd is up to not only the hardships of moving and helping to lift people 2-3 times her size but also, the more difficult hardship of growing attached to people who are likely to die soon. People passed on a regular basis, sometimes it would be several weeks, sometimes within days of each other. This was a very difficult for me to deal with and I found myself closing myself off... one of the reasons I only did it for three semesters then went to work at Wal-mart until I finished school.