Top Priority vent/question

**imagine** · 09-11-2008, 04:15 AM

Everything can't be top priority

(fill in the blank) should be top priority.

Family, work, school, this assignment, that project, personal time, working out, etc .

You hear it all the time. As adults we know this and try to handle the priority list. It doesn't see that even adults are handling it well. Look at all the stress related health issues and medications available to help us handle life.

Are we (as a society) passing down this everyone wants everything to be top priority with all its draw backs to the next generation?

My Son has been thinking a lot about his dad since Hubby has been having surgery and high blood pressure. Son forgot an orchestra assignment. It "slipped his mind". Understandable to me with his mind being so full right now. Today we did receive a rather it seemed heated note from his teacher about this "slipped his mind" and how upset she was that he had missed class ( he went to the doctor for a check up and new prescription for asthma medication). The notes to me felt much like a "this" class " "this assignment" should be top priority. Then yet today my son was able to start church youth group for the first time. I thought this would be good for him a get together with kids his own age, a good stress release activity. I come in at the end to pick him up and hear "This should be Top Priority. You should be here every week. I know you have test and such but this should be your top priority"

Everything can't be top priority
Is the next generation going to have stress related illness? Are they going to need medication to get through the day? Do they already? If so what can be done?

**Missourimom** · 09-11-2008, 09:50 AM

I think your sons top priorities should be his feelings (regarding his concern for his dad,)and school work and then HE needs to make the decision of what follows. Not all of these other people. I feel bad for kids now days.

BTW, I think being treated for asthma is the number one top priority and I'm the kind of mother who would've gone to the school and told his jerk teacher just that.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 09-11-2008, 09:50 AM

I think that we expect too much out of not only ourselves, but those we look after and take care of. People are just too busy these days and don't take the right amount of time for themselves to just relax and get away from everything. Everyone's in such a hurry to get places and no one has the ability to schedule themselves out of a SRI.

People have to learn that they cannot preoccupy themselves with things that are out of their control. There is no amount of wishful thinking that will change a physical situation or the results. You can't just close your eyes, ball up your fists, and then open them after you make the wish and have everything be different. That's just how the world works.

People need to learn to reconnect to being simple, having their lives in order, and knowing what really needs to take precedence in their daily routine. I think that unless parents teach their children to worry about one thing at a time now and not let the rest of it cloud their thoughts, the next generation will end up being worse off than this one. My youngest is always so worried about everything and I have to constantly remind him not to be; that everything he's wanting to do at once can be done scattered throughout the day and with a sense of calm. He's getting way better at it now, sorta.

**Telephus44** · 09-11-2008, 12:20 PM

I deal with this issue all the time at work. People need to realize that we're all human and make mistakes - even if something is "top priority" it doesn't mean it's going to get done perfectly and on time 100% of the time.

It reminds me of a saying from my work mentor - I'm in a manufacturing company, and at certain times of year we get backed up, and then it becomes a case of "well this is a RUSH job" and "this is also a RUSH job" and then "this one too is a super hot RUSH job" - the saying is "When everything's a rush, then nothing's a rush."

Kind of like if everything is top priority - then nothing is really top priority.

**FrugalWitch** · 09-11-2008, 02:01 PM

Unless it is work-related and the boss says otherwise, everyone has to decide for themselves what their top priorities are.

JMHO

(PS) The other exception would be if someone asked for help in getting their priorities straight.

**perSue** · 09-11-2008, 02:46 PM

Wow, you're absolutely right.

The one thing I dislike a LOT with kids today is there's ten times MORE homework than we had at their age!
The material hasnt changed all that much... seriously... history, math, basic science, etc all remain relatively the same ... nothing HUGE has come along yet to change these... why so much MORE hw???

AND, with technology giving us an our kids MORE opportunities in life... heck! BETTER opportunities than we had... and I LOVE that.

BUT it seems grade school/high school teachers "forget" that these kids DO have lives!!!

What I would recommend - being TK myself - TALK to this teacher. Let her(?) know that there's a LOT going on in your son's life. HIGHLIGHT (and emphasize) your hubby's current issues and how worried/distracted he is because of this.

BUT also tell this teacher that you do NOT approve or condone forgetting assignments and will try to work w/him to fix this (ie, buy a day planner!). (This makes it seem like you're on the teacher's side... when in fact you are always supporting your son).

A student telling a teacher "i'm having stuff goin on at home" is meaningless.
When a parent comes in and talks to a teacher or multiple ones... shows that the parent is taking extra steps to try to help the "student"... and gives the teacher a heads-up for any odd behaviours.

Many teachers won't go outta their way to give extra special treatment... especially if "this project/assignment is due _this day_" is announced 2 weeks in advance!

But it can't hurt.

I do EVERYTHING I can to help my dss w/his hw... he comes home and most days has 2 to 3 hrs of homework... where's his time to destress? unwind? socialize? heck, eat dinner w/us??

So, we encourage breaks in hw... "take the dog on a half hour walk... get some fresh air... go hang out w/a few friends for an hour"

It's hard... but communication is key... among everyone!

Good luck