Could use some encouragement...

**DonnainME** · 09-21-2008, 11:45 AM

My ex is a butt head also. His new wife does pay his $200 a month in Child Support. Things were different when we divorced and set up everything. He has 2 of our children and I have the oldest. I was a SAHM for 9 years. He agreed to the $200 and lots of other things. The divorce papers only have the $200 on file. Since he got re-married, this new wife controls his Ba**s. He won't do the other things that he had agreed to (not in writing). Now, get this - they make about $175k per YEAR and we make about $12k per year. They are complaining about the $200 per month. They are NEVER home for me to contact my other 2 kids. I haven't talked to them in 2 weeks. Have left messages - no calls back. My bday is Tuesday - I doubt I will hear from them. Child support check is supposed to be sent on the 15th - it's the 21st and I haven't seen it yet. DD needs some of the money from it but it's not here yet. I feel your pain.

**Megareader** · 09-21-2008, 01:05 PM

Your ex's income went up and his child support went down?? What was the judge who signed that order thinking? Costs of food, clothing, and everything else your kids need have gone up...how are you supposed to pay for these things with LESS money? Does the judge have any kids or do the grocery shopping for himself/herself? Does he/she have a clue what a pair of shoes cost? School supplies? What if your kids need to go to the doctor? Even with insurance there are co-pays, meds to buy, etc...

Dh paid child support for many years, until his older kids were at the age where you don' t pay any longer. But as his income increased so did the support...and the kids were entitled to it. No way did we expect them to make do on less.

I am so ticked at the judge who signed that stupid order lowering your support!

**ATLCheap** · 09-21-2008, 03:01 PM

My dad paid ridiculously low child support when I was growing up. One of the techniques my mom used was to have us call our dad when we needed money for big expenses--marching band or other camps, music lessons, etc. It worked, for the most part. It kept them from bickering at each other, and it forced my dad to say yes or no to *us.
Good luck,
Jenn--

**Gabe** · 09-21-2008, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by ATLCheap

My dad paid ridiculously low child support when I was growing up. One of the techniques my mom used was to have us call our dad when we needed money for big expenses--marching band or other camps, music lessons, etc. It worked, for the most part. It kept them from bickering at each other, and it forced my dad to say yes or no to *us.
Good luck,
Jenn--Atlanta On The Cheap

I like this technique.

**Dancing Lotus** · 09-21-2008, 03:40 PM

I don't understand how men can detach their feelings so easily.
How my husband feels about me would never have any affect of how he feels for his children.

We have a friend who's EX-wife is awful so he just pays the for all the kids directly. He pays for their activities , health insurance , car, directly. He even went so far as too give the mother gift cards to the grocery store rather then grocery money. But never once did that anything for the children.

I hope things can get worked out for you.

**caradana** · 09-21-2008, 05:58 PM

What happened? What were the circumstances the judge cited as he signed off on this change?

**Mom2Many** · 09-21-2008, 07:04 PM

He now has a support order in place for some other children. However, my attorney ran the numbers with both orders (when he originally filed) and our income and it showed my support going up by $100 or so EVEN WITH THE OTHER ORDER! I'm just floored. Every online support calculator I've used with the numbers he's provided shows my support going up. I'm contesting the new order. I think there's been a mistake at the judge's office. If not, I'll just suck it up.

**Goodwin17** · 09-21-2008, 09:21 PM

No advice, just lots of hugs!

It makes me mad to see men getting out of paying for their children.

**angeljzmom** · 09-21-2008, 11:26 PM

Sorry to hear about your CS amount going down. The same thing happened to me. My ex took me to court to have the CS lowered. He lied about his income. He said he was making $35,000 a year (which is about $10,000 a year more than me) when he was really making $65,000 a year. The judge lowered the support from $1200 to $207 a month. The judge kind of hinted that my ex's business records were a mess but still lowered it anyway. The judge said if he tries to lower it again than he will make my ex prove every cent. I thought that was the craziest thing I ever heard. So I have learned to survive without it. I do hope things work out for you.

**PurpleSnowflake** · 09-22-2008, 12:33 AM

BTDT

Unfortunately you really should NEVER count on CS in your budget... life will be better that way!

You can do it!

**Mom2Many** · 09-23-2008, 02:42 PM

I got my objection filed. The original order will stand until we get a hearing. The CS worker said that could take 6 months or more.

**memoe** · 09-25-2008, 09:31 PM

6 months? Wow. I hope everything works out for you.

**qtkitty** · 09-25-2008, 11:31 PM

Check out consignment stores in your area .. there is usually a few that are ritzy where you could take spotless clothes that you could get better $ for and then lightly used clothes to regular consignment stores.

Also check out thrift stores i know that there is one in town here that you get a bag the size of a walmart bag and you can stuff it full for $10 and then bags after are $5.

For food check for programs that help with food.... but then look for bulk food stores, farmers markets and road side booths where you can hagle, Salvage food stores ( check their return policy first AKA if a can is bad when you open can you take it back for 100% refund), and if you have a local flea market check around often there are lower priced food places inside that buy bulk pallets of damaged freight thats still good.