I'm so torn............

[WV_mom_of2]

Ds(12 and in 7th grade) has a science teacher who is making a big announcement about a field trip today. He is picking 20 seventh graders and 5 eighth graders to go on an overnight field trip in Nov. My ds really wants to be chosen and he REALLY wants to go! But I am so torn about this. It's an overnight field trip, five hours from home to the middle of NOWHERE! My ds is kind of shy and has never stayed away from home other than with my parents. Even then he still gets nervous about being away. Our school system isn't well known for supervising trips very well and it's SO far away!

Dh says if they will let him go he will take a day off from work and go as a chaperone. He also says if they won't let him go, we should let ds go anyway as long as there are several adults going. UGH!

My ds hates school. He is a thinker and builder, not a reader or book kid. He hates being cooped up inside all day, hates being forced to read, etc. This trip is an outdoor trip where they study water quality in our streams, learn how to test the water, learn about species of fish, etc. They will go to places in our area several times this school year for water testing, etc. I feel that this might be an opportunity to get him interested in school. But it's SO far away!

Sometimes being the mom sucks!

[momofslg]

I say let him go. Maybe this will spark an interest in school and science is such a fun subject. I know that you're nervous about him being so far away , but could you send him with a cell phone for some peace of mine.

[Greebo]

The baby bird has to learn to fly sometime.

[Lady_V]

I agree... you say he hates school, maybe he doesn't totally hate it, just never had anything to catch his interest.

If he wants to go (and money isn't an obstacle) then I say go for it. If he is picked to go, and there is time between now and the date of the trip, can you try a 'night away from home' and see how he does? Do you have friends or family (other than gparents) that you trust that live close?

[cab54]

First of all, I think any field trip where certain students are 'picked', and some don't get to go is so wrong anyway. I think if a field trip is planned ---or birthday party, or any other event,---- EVERY student in that room or grade should be allowed to go. Seems to me that sets up for bad feelings. I'm surprised he's allowed to do that (teacher).

Second--mmm...I'm not sure about the idea of an overnight field trip. Too many weirdos out there. If your child was say--a junior or senior in HS----it would maybe be OK, if you were sure he could take care of himself. But 12 is such a confusing age. What do you think of the guy who's idea this all is? Does he give you the creeps in any way? I think if you tell your DS to stay in groups with people, he could be OK.

That said, my sons went to a hockey camp in Canada (we are in Ohio) at age 9. BUT, we had talked to many parents of kids who went there and we talked to the KIDS too (to see hoe they acted when they talked about the camp), and scoped the place out to the max. I was terrified. But they LOVED it, and said all was cool there. They are adults now and say the same about the place. It was a good experience for them. They went several years. But it scared the gee-willikers out of ME.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm a hypocrite and you just never know. Big help, huh?

[nessarowdy]

I agree with the previous posters, let him go. Ask your son about his comfort levels in going without you. Would he feel more comfortable if your dh went as a chaperone?

Good luck!

-Vanessa

[WV_mom_of2]

There is no cost to us at all for him to go. And I doubt that there is cell phone service there, it's very much in the boonies!

I'm really against over-night field trips for any age. I just don't think kids need to go on them for school reasons (unless it's a band competition or something like that). And the fact that both boys and girls will be going adds to my stress.

I don't know the teacher at all. I volunteered in the school for ten years but haven't been there in three years. He's a new teacher and alot of parents don't like him at all. And I just think that 12 is too young to go that far away without parental supervision. That's just my opinion for my kids. If they were going an hour or two away it wouldn't bother me so much. But five hours and into the middle of nowhere bothers me. I guess I'm jumping the gun anyway because he may not be chosen to go.

[TexasPeanut]

Awww ((( big hugs ))) to a fellow mom. I know where you are coming from. Your son and my son are like one in the same, mine is 11 and science is the ONLY thing he likes about school.

Last year I went through this with him, a field trip 2 hours away just for the whole day but in a large city. I had always chaperoned the field trips since he started kinder but last year the rules changed....the same parents couldn't go every time so they wanted a different batch of parents. Well at my DH's urging we let him go. It killed me...but I got over it, and let him go alone on the next one as well. He has a wonderful memory of the great times he had with his friends and classmates on those 2 field trips even without me or his dad around.

We have to let them grow a bit sometimes no matter how hard it is.

Hopefully this will be a great thing for your son to get him interested in school a little more or at least science, and a good thing for you as well. I would like to mention the only thing that kept me somewhat sane at the time was me purchasing a tracfone with a 120 minutes on it and programmed our numbers and others into it. It cost me $30 or so but it was worth my peace of mind to know he could contact us if an emergency arose.

[AmyBoz]

My personal opinion is that if he is chosen, let him go. He is EXCITED about this opportunity. For a kid who hates school, this is a huge deal! Who knows, this could spark a career interest or at least an interest that will pull him in, because now he can share this experience in the classroom. It could also help him make friends with other, like-minded kids.

We take our 8th graders to DC every year. It's approximately 6 hours away and we are there for two full days and one night. It's an incredible experience for the kids. If you aren't going to let him go, is this an experience you'd be willing to recreate for him? Again, it has sparked his interest...seems not right to me to hold him back.

[TexasPeanut]

Okay after I just posted my mom pep talk, I read your second post. Eh...five hours away and over night with a teacher that's fairly new to the school and you don't know him. That would make me have second thoughts as well, unless I knew very well every other parent/chaperone going. That would be a hard call to make.

[Michelle]

Goodness, I would feel the same way. When I was in 8th grade, we had an 8th grade field trip from MA to Niagara Falls. I was so excited to go, and I don't know if my parents were worried, but I know that if/when Kathryn has one (we live in a different town than my hometown), I will be a nervous wreck.

What is it that the parents do not like about the teacher?

It's a tough call, but I will tell you what I *know* my dh would tell me in this situation: "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it". Don't worry about it until he is selected. There is a chance he won't be, and you will have worried for nothing. (having said that, I know it's so much easier said than done)

[perSue]

Take comfort that this opportunity has been GIVEN to your son... something he may find a great interest in (maybe future job??) AND he gets to learn how HE likes to learn!

Besides, it's with his peers/friends AND adults HAVE to go (since it's a school trip).

I really do hope he gets to go. It sounds like a great adventure and wonderful learning opportunity for your son.

Focus on HIM... not that he'll be away. He'll be safe. The school has to guarantee it.

He'll be ok... and thank you for the opportunity to grow (rather than hindering by keeping him home).

[cheles2kids]

I think it would be an awesome opportunity for him, but personally, either me or my husband would go as a chaperone.
Just my opinion.

[WV_mom_of2]

Focus on HIM... not that he'll be away. He'll be safe. The school has to guarantee it.

He'll be ok... and thank you for the opportunity to grow (rather than hindering by keeping him home).

Unfortunately, our school doesn't have to guarantee anything. Two years ago when dd was in 9th grade they took them on a day long field trip. They were supposed to be back to the high school by 6:30pm. It was MIDNIGHT when they finally got in. Then two days later we found out that two different couples had sex on the bus on the way back home and there were cell phone pictures to prove it! Nothing happened to the teachers who were supposed to be supervising and that same main teacher has taken kids on the exact same trip two more times!

3 years ago a group of students in a neighboring county took a field trip. A parent volunteer used her insulin injecting needles to prick kids on the bus to show them how it feels to be diabetic.

Yes it's a great opportunity for him. It's also five hours away, in the boonies with most likely no cell phone service, with a teacher I've never met before, etc. There will also be employees from this organization there who none of us have met before. There are an awful lot of negatives to this trip. I wouldn't just walk into Walmart and hand him over for an overnight trip with a stranger. Yet that is exactly what this trip would be!

[WV_mom_of2]

Okay after I just posted my mom pep talk, I read your second post. Eh...five hours away and over night with a teacher that's fairly new to the school and you don't know him. That would make me have second thoughts as well, unless I knew very well every other parent/chaperone going. That would be a hard call to make.

Those are my main points in NOT letting him go. It's so far away, I have never met the teacher, etc. My kids go on day long field trips every year, usually 1-2 hours away and even farther at times. Sometimes I go to chaperone, sometimes I don't. That doesn't bother me. But an OVERNIGHT trip with total strangers just doesn't seem right to me.