teachers whispering mean things

[HandyMom]

I'm not sure what to think or say about this. My DD came home from school and told me she heard the teachers whispering and talking about students in another class. She said her new teacher called two boys that she knows "bratty know-it-alls" and another student "grumpy and stupid".

My DD was shocked to hear teachers talking like that about students and she was caught off-guard. She holds teachers to a higher standard as I have taught her to respect them even if she doesn't agree with everything they say or do. She wanted to go tell the kids they were talking about what was said about them but thought better of it. She asked me if I thought it was normal for a teacher to talk like that about students and if I thought they might say bad things about her too? I didn't know exactly how to respond. I told her that maybe these kids had given the teachers a hard time and they were reacting as any other adult might and saying things that her ears were not meant to hear. I told her I was glad she did not repeat what she heard to the kids but I am glad she told me about it. I told her I didn't think they said things like that about her unless she was giving them grief.

Seems she has lost some respect and trust for those teachers, if not all teachers.

Did I say the right thing? What would you have said to your child about it?

[Texasgirl]

I think you said the right thing.

Teachers are human so it does not surprise me that they talk about the students.
They probably should keep the talking about students in the teachers lounge where students are not allowed.

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Awww...that's sad. I know teachers are human, but they SHOULD be held to a higher standard of conduct anywhere around their students.

I think you said the right thing... I'm sorry this has hurt her...it would really bother me, too...

[madhen]

I would probably talk to the teachers involved, if your daughter mentioned which ones. I am sure they did not intend for their comments to be overheard and would want to know that they were inadvertently indiscreet.

[Guest57]

As a teacher, I feel you owe it to the kids to go directly to the principal and tell him about what your daughter heard...can you imagine how damaging this could be to a child...what if this is a habit of theirs and some time one of the kids they are speaking about over hears?!?! SPEAK UP...you'd want someone to do it if it was your child they were talking about!!!

[janelane]

You said the right thing. But honestly this goes on more than anyone who has not been on the "inside" realizes, I think. It was actually a large part of the reason I decided to stop teaching. Some of the things I heard come out of some teachers and administrators mouths concerning students were absolutely appalling. Unabashed negativity. I understand the need to vent, but it shouldn't be done on school grounds, period, imo. If you talk to them, I'm sure they'll be embarrassed, but I can assure you a few nasty overheard comments are a drop in the bucket compared to what really goes on in the teacher's lounge.

[qtkitty]

Teachers talk about students amonst themselves all the time... although some teachers do need to work on how they talk about students it can be an important tool when dealing with students and helps them to learn what the child needs if used correctly.

Although all of that should be done out of ears of students. Sometimes teachers have bad days just like everyone else or say things they shouldn't they are human.

[Parksfamily5]

I think it is one thing for the teachers to comment on someone being grumpy or thinking they know it all but to call a student stupid is absolutely unacceptable. I would also talk with the principal on this matter.

[cab54]

Everything is overlooked today, and called 'it's only human'. It's unprofessional------period. To use basically name-calling (bratty) is not something they should be doing even if out to lunch together. Discussing a student's problems and HOW TO SOLVE THEM would be acceptable.

As a nurse, I was taught to use respect and professionalism in AND outside the hospital. Patient confidentiality. You don't talk about someone you're dealing with, or their personal quirks, especially in a derogatory way. I think all professions should act this way. And you would think someone working with children would!

I wouldn't ignore this, I'd take it up with the principal.

[Gibs]

I do believe that you said the right things to ur dd. But I agree that you should deffinately take this up with either the teachers involved or the principal.

[perSue]

Being a TK I know that this has always gone on...
however, I'd expect those teachers she overheard are relatively new/young/naive.

You CAN as a teacher talk to other teachers as long as there are NO students around about your students for advice. It's known as a non-written rule that you do NOT talk about students when there is a possibility of being overheard.

Now, then there's the problem of your daughter overhearing. Where was she that she overheard this? Many students are at awe w/teachers and who they are, how they live and "do they really live at school" sorta 'syndromes' - and are simply curious as to the "adult life".

That being said, she was not meant to hear what was said. So I'd wonder where she was... near the teacher's lounge, "listening" thru the door to the teachers outside? passing along in the hallway innocently?

IF it's the last one, where teachers were talking openly in the hall where passing kids could _possibly_ be...

here's what you do:

Call up the principal of the school. Talk to him/her about what your daughter overheard. Where she was when this happened, where the teachers were and what specifically was said. ALSO, really important, ask that your daughter remain anonymous.

Ask that you be informed as to what the final decision is.
And defintely do NOT tell those kids that were talked about badly what was said. That's not kind nor fair.

Now what's the final outcome?
The principal will talk to these teachers. If it's a first time offense, say "dont do it again - around the students!!!"
If a multi offense, it can go in their record and depending on the school system and the rules there (and even state laws in some states), can be taken higher.

But most likely, a slap on the wrist... BUT these teachers will be leary of "who caught us?" & not do it again. That's most times enough.

But don't tell your daughter any more than she needs to know.
That is, dont give details. Just state "it's been handled."
If she were to know details and in a few years she'd feel "safe" to say something, there could be repercussions. So, only superficial details.

Now as a last resort, if NOTHING you feel has been done... ie, Principal talks to teachers... teachers say "uh huh" and keep doing it... contact the Administration office.

DO NOT take this promptly to the admin offices. This can not be good for your daughter or you in the long run. Don't overstep the obvious supervisor (principal). The admin office is not there to solve your daily issues. If they do get them taken to them, they expect a big deal. And if it's not, they'll laugh you out the door... and word will spread... i hope you get the point.

good luck!