Well I have done it *rant*

**janis362529** · 10-03-2008, 12:46 PM

I have told the women on my Mommy board how I felt anthe backlash hurts so friggen much. I have know these women for almost 4yrs and 9tms. All our kids were born in Nov. I have gone through out with them and man it is hard to say good bye but I am so diffrent from them there is no way I could have stayed.

It started yesterday when I posted how Biden offended me buy saying that people havve no choice but to use credit for gas b/c it has gotten so expensive. Wow they started ripping me that it should not offend me b/c I do not communte( my hubby does) and that they while having to commute and pay bills have no choice but to put it on credit. I stated how hubby and I have a budget for that reason and have given up alot to avoid credit. Then before I knew it the queen bee came on and started blasting me for using credit called foodstamps. And how with out I would not be able to afford gas or anything. She brought up my spending from 2 yrs ago. I swear she must have had them, stored some where it was almost an exact quote.

Yes we are on food stamps. Yes everyday I work till getting off and I am almost there. Once our rent is up to date out it goes. But I know how slippery it can get when you use just one card for an emergency how quick you are to use it again and again. I have worked out a plan with our landlord that allows me to pay my important bills( necesities), catch up on rent, and still allow a small bit to go towards student loans and paying the last of the credit cards off.

Am I a horrible person for being proud of myslef. Am I a horrible person for pointing out you are going intro debt to pay for gas yet you can afford to pay $400 on your kids 4th birthday. That is the only time I made a specific sentence the rest was all general how people do not want to give up anything ,buy more house then they can afford, buy more car then they can afford, ect ect.Am I wrong to be upset over losing these women in my life.

**AmyBoz** · 10-03-2008, 12:50 PM

I think there is always a sense of loss when a relationship, of any kind, ends. However, I think it is important that people surround themselves with people who encourage, inspire, and challenge them. If the Mommy board was a toxic environment for you, then it's best you left.

**Missy** · 10-03-2008, 12:50 PM

You are doing well, digging out and working hard. Don't let them get to you. Seems friends should build you up...not tear you to shreds.

**chevy_chick95** · 10-03-2008, 12:54 PM

heck no you should be upset! I am apart of a mommy board too and if they acted like this there is NO way that I could deal with that!

great thing about my mommy board is that it is the frugalist much of women I have ever met, beyond FV. I love them!

I'm glad you stood up for yourself! :clappy:

**Greebo** · 10-03-2008, 12:57 PM

When someone says, "I didn't have a choice" what they're really saying is, "I chose to be a victim of circumstance".

They had and have choices. Nobody made them live in an area they couldn't afford on one income.

**my4littlebuffaloes** · 10-03-2008, 01:11 PM

I think you did the right thing. You couldn't have kept going to that board and pretending to be their friend and not say anything. Honestly they needed the wake up calll that it is not ok to spend $400 on your child's birthday and put your basic living expenses on your credit card. They will wake up some day and hopefully your being brave enough to say something will help them sooner rather than later. they don't have a clue as to how bad their situations are if this is how they are living. I am sorry you are taking the bad posts, that has to be tough. I still think you did the right thing.

**janis362529** · 10-03-2008, 01:15 PM

Thank you all. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. I know some of the women I will stay friends with. They sent me PMs thanking me for saying what I have and are proud of what I am doing and asking for help but to the rest of them I am cutting them off.
I really don't need the reminders of everything I am giving up and the competion between the girls. I want real friends who will not shred you for working hard. I am so glad I found this board where everyone works together.

**Greebo** · 10-03-2008, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by janis362529

I really don't need the reminders of everything I am giving up and the competion between the girls. I want real friends who will not shred you for working hard. I am so glad I found this board where everyone works together.

We only shred you for slacking off and making excuses here.

(Unless its the politics forum...)

**janis362529** · 10-03-2008, 01:29 PM

Well in that case shred away if I slip. I deserve it for being an idiot again and fallen into the alge lake. Geez everyone told me it was slippery but I still had to try for myslef.
And wait we can't shred in the debate.

I get my giggles readding it

**Squirt** · 10-03-2008, 02:26 PM

I don't see how anyone can begrudge you your foodstamps when you are probably one of very few families who actually use them as a tool to help get back on your feet. Those women who ripped on you should be ashamed of themselves.

**frugalbabe** · 10-03-2008, 02:37 PM

Sometimes the reasons we become friends with people aren't pertinent anymore. Think back in your life, how many of your friends from high school or whatever are still around? That's how life works. Some friends "stick" and some kind of fade in and out. That doesn't make it feel any better I know but just know that what you are experiencing is normal. I have just been through this myself recently. One night I was out with my friends and they were discussing their latest shopping, or scrapbooking or whatever. And I realized that I was forcing myself to laugh and smile. I wanted to talk about the economy and the election and they just couldn't give any input on these things. I guess I realized it had been a while in the making. I still love them, I don't look down on them at all but we've grown apart, the reasons we became friends are just no longer there. It is time to gravitate to other circles and that's OK.

**itsahumanzoo** · 10-03-2008, 02:43 PM

I am very proud of you for saying something! And any off those ladies who are ripping on you are just showing you that they are real friends anyway. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them anyway.

**joyofsix** · 10-03-2008, 02:50 PM

I agree totally with frugalbabe.

**FrugalMomof3** · 10-03-2008, 03:12 PM

Dont let it get to you. You dont have to answer to anyone but yourself and God. You've done well for yourself so be proud for sticking up for what you feel.

**cab54** · 10-03-2008, 04:13 PM

You've outgrown them.

They are shredding you because they know in their hearts that that is what THEY should be doing. Being wise with their money. They want to live the high life and hope that a miracle happens before they're middle aged.

They will end up 45-50, and having kids go off to college and retirement coming up an be like, OH now what are we gonna do?

They will be way in over their heads and you will be all planned, saved, and set. Trust me.

I've had to say "goodbye cruel board' to a couple of forums I've been on. I outgrew them. They were children and I was an adult. It was hard. I didn't say anything, I just left. I'm of a mind that you can't change people. It hurt cause some of them were cool and friendly. But others had gotten SOOO about material things, clothes, beauty (REALLY into beauty and lots of plastic surgery), and having all the latest everything. It wasn't just that it had gotten so unFRUGAL, it was just so childish for grown women!

It got sickening. Truly. They would cut up people who got fatter (like me

) and people who didn't have a gym membership, or drive a cool car. It was SOOOOO 5th grade.

In time you won't feel the hurt as much. We're here for ya!