Relatives! A rant!

**hollyhill** · 10-14-2008, 01:49 AM

Don't read the following if you don't want to hear my long winded complaining!
It was Canadian thanksgiving here and my sil contacted me 3 weeks ago (I haven't heard from her since Christmas) and wanted to know if Dinner was at my place (Mil was on Vacation) and so I said yes.... I will have the family over because it was probably my turn. I right away sent a list out to those attending of what to bring....

You know that money is very tight and I have been worried about DH's job future and so have been very financially careful... But I managed to get a turkey, and served mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, carrots, brusselsprouts, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, homemade apple pies (apples from my trees), ice cream and even bought a bottle of wine. I made it all from scratch ( no short cuts) and worked like........ the last two days to carry it all off.

Sil brought wine and a ham (cooked) it was very nice of her....
Bil brought ZIP. This is after he arrived 3 hours before dinner was supposed to start because his kids were driving him nuts.. (3 and 7).... no problem I thought my kids were delighted to be with their cousins.... But my Dh and Dd (17) were at the club training.... and so I was left entertaining Bil while trying to cook dinner.... while he watched and bragged on and on about how much money he made last year, how hard up his Ex was ( he gives her as little as possible, makes me sick)..... how much he spends on his hobbies every weekend (his kids race mini cars and motocross and it costs at least $500 every race weekend).... he just wouldn't stop..... I felt physically ill... all that money he makes and wastes and he couldn't bring ONE D****** THING... If he hadn't brought his sons I would turned him out, I swear I would have! Then after Dd took care of 3 year old the whole afternoon and evening she went to Bil just as he was leaving and asked if he would buy some popcorn (a scout fundraiser) well the cheapskate said NO! How dare she try and sell him something and NO he would not buy anything from her and how about US buying some wheels for him or fancy car oil or on and on and on he went.... (referring to his hobbies). My Dd was devastated.... heck strangers are nicer than her own uncle (granted he did drink nearly a bottle of wine by himself).....
Other Bil was mortified and bought two pkgs of popcorn by himself....
It is hard enough having to deal with stupid relatives but when they are obnoxious to your kids what do you do! Dd would have been happy with a "not this time" or what ever... but he was nasty.

Anyways, it was especially difficult after all my work and I felt he basically freeloaded on our generousity and yet he is "rolling in the dough" , makes me sick! Thanks for listening.... I am in the midst of cleaning up the thanksgiving dinner mess. I sent Dh to bed, he has to be up for work at 4:30 AM and I am feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.....

**Holly** · 10-14-2008, 06:13 AM

Sorry Holly.
I'll take people saying things to me ,but don't hurt my kid or kids I love.
I won't take that even from family.

**Dixie** · 10-14-2008, 07:55 AM

What a jerk!

**Kellili** · 10-14-2008, 08:19 AM

I would NOT invite him next year. What a jerk.

**Greebo** · 10-14-2008, 08:21 AM

Would your DH support you if you suggested you stop inviting this BIL? He doesn't deserve your good graces, by the sound of things.

**baxjul** · 10-14-2008, 08:23 AM

I wouldn't invite him back anymore. I would also write him a letter, or call him and tell him just how hurtful he was to you and your family.

**Patty A** · 10-14-2008, 08:32 AM

Leave it to a family member to treat strangers nice and family like S@*^! I know the feeling all to well as it sounds like my Dh's family. They always sent their kids here to have us buy things, but when it was my kids turn to go to their house they never had the money to help them out. I know it was hard for you to hear him rub it in on how good he has it, but what goes around comes around and he will get it coming back to him. (((((HUGS))))) to you and your daughter, don't let him get to you! Hope you have a better day today!

**joyofsix** · 10-14-2008, 08:34 AM

Oh Holly, I'm sorry. You are a good person. I'm afraid of what I might have done or said.

**perSue** · 10-14-2008, 09:13 AM

wow, i can't believe it.
I'm sorry this happened... and on your thanksgiving!

Why does it seem that thanksgiving (doesnt matter what country's or when it is) is THE holiday that family ruins??

Next time on the invite I'd state: Don't bother coming if you aren't bringing any food and drink.

Have a great holiday!
LOL

We empathise with you... and we're sorry this happened as well.

**Trishagirl** · 10-14-2008, 09:26 AM

Oh how awful of him.beat: I hope Thanksgiving is at his house next year!

**DonnainME** · 10-14-2008, 09:29 AM

I agree - don't invite him. I doubt we will have family over any time in the near or even foreseeable future for similar types of reasons.

Right now, i can barely deal with any of them (in laws) because of the miscarriage this weekend.

With my hormones the way they are, I would have let him have it and then felt bad at myself later, but not too bad cause he would have deserved it.

**Darlene** · 10-14-2008, 10:02 AM

Ahh... the holiday season is upon us once again. Falalala

Only one more holiday to go for you Holly. Hope the Grinch gets coal in his stocking and a swift kick in the keester.

Now is the time for all of us to plan to not be ruffled by those in our family that drive us nuts. Plan to have as little if any contact with them & choose to make this holiday season the calmest, nicest ever. Don't give those who make your life miserable any power over you.
Don't be afraid to opt out of any family thing that is going to make you mad. You can still accept invitations if you want but limit your time at them. You can't please everyone so don't even try.
It's your life & you have what it takes to make it as pleasant as possible. Just do it, you'll be glad you did.

**rainbowgc** · 10-14-2008, 12:45 PM

Well aint he just so special. I would leave him off my next invite if I were you. Who needs the stress and strain of dealing with a self absorbed AH

**Ceashels** · 10-14-2008, 01:41 PM

Sounds like you got the "Good Genes"! I would agree that if he is to come next time that he is expected to bring a dish or not come at all. His behavior toward others was inappropriate.

**Dot** · 10-14-2008, 03:08 PM

If he is anything like the jerks in my family, if you ask him to bring anything you'll probably not have to even look at his smug mug...he'll opt out if he is expected to contribute. At least that is how it is here.

Is he your husband's brother? If so, it would actually be more beneficial if your dh handled future dealings with him.

Those poor kids will be the ones to suffer. Imagine how their mother has to feel.