Spinoff from my own thread about bad guests

**Dutchie** · 10-18-2008, 02:14 AM

When on the way to the hospital with my mother in law yesterday, we were talking about my family who is staying with me.

She said to all my complaints about them - don't forget that you invited them so you have to do everything for them so that they have a good time.
I replied that I do agree with her to a point but there is also something called - being a good guest in someone's home.
It did get me thinking though.

I am very curious, what are your thoughts on this ?

**FrugalMomof3** · 10-18-2008, 08:07 AM

I agree that it's your job to make them feel welcome and comfortable BUT that's the extent of it... they should contribute to food and picking up after themselves.

How long are they staying with you? If it's after a week, then should also be doing more as I consider after a week, no longer being a guest but a roommate.

**Patty A** · 10-18-2008, 08:47 AM

I for one think there are unwritten rules about staying in someones home.
You have to think about and respect boundries. You don't go raiding the fridge, the cabinets, and the closets. You don't make a mess and have OTHERS clean up after you. When you shower, eat, or change it goes without saying that you clean up after yourself. Your a guest, and the host doesn't have to treat you like a spoiled brat by cleaning up after you! Extended stays, before you stay and wear out your welcome you should have it ok'ed to stay longer. And with the extended stay come the "should" in sharing the expenses. They should contribute to household costs, meals, and by all means they should jump in and help out with cleaning and cooking. I just don't think its right that all the burden lay on the host for making the family have it so easy. Its an honor to be ask to stay at someones home, and you have to earn that honor by jumping in and helping out......not by making more work for the people that are kind enough to help you out!

**fernykins** · 10-18-2008, 10:03 AM

You know in May I was a guest in someone elses home for a week. I had never meet these people. They were nice enough to open up their home to me. They were my yds's sponsors. I would never have told them I did not like something or help myself to something even through I was told to. I made sure I didn't add to their burden. They were also feeding 13 young men and women who they also sponsor. I have found you treat people the way you want to be treated......
Fern

**cab54** · 10-18-2008, 11:16 AM

I WANT to be all tough, and say HEY, you're a big girl, wait on yourself and your kids, etc.........but I have to admit, I'm more like your MIL where I would probably feel like I have to turn myself inside-out to make them comfy and fed and clean bedding----and all that. That's why I seldom invite guests......

I would just knuckle down and do what you have to do, and learn from the experience, and seldom invite guests unless you are up to the task of working very hard (almost like you're running a bed and breakfast). I hardly EVER have that kind of energy anymore, LOL!

When they leave, make sure and pamper yourself for a day or two........order out if you can, or make 'easy food' and be generally lazy for a bit. I would.

**leezza** · 10-18-2008, 12:03 PM

Dutchie,

I disagree with your MIL......

I agree with your kids....and I am surprised that your Son hasn't said anything YET??

You know what I don't even check out my parents fridge at their home even though they always tell us to help ourselves......I always ask! and I always clean up after myself.....and also buy groceries and help with cooking and clean up.

These people at your house have done one thing......you will never ask them back so they have burned the bridge......

If anyone from your family asks how it went with them I think you should be honest and tell them......so they can't do this to someone else...

JMHO,
leezza