update on family staying here!!!

**Dutchie** · 10-20-2008, 06:26 AM

They left this morning !
Be warned - bad language/shouting in this thread.

Usually when people leave here (or anywhere else I think in normal circumstances), one of the things said is - 'well we will have to do this again sometime' or something like that.
No such words came out of my mouth this time.
I thanked her and her kids for coming and being at my 50th birthday party yesterday and told her that I hope that she has a safe flight. That was it.

Just for info - neither of the kids showered or brushed their teeth before they went. They got up, threw (yes, threw) their clothes in a suitcase, got dressed, had some dry cereal (don't dare to put milk in their cereal) and left.

My DH had to go to Amsterdam anyway so he took them with him - this saved me time/gas for the car (about half a tank full) and gave me some much needed time to tidy up and air out the house. I also relaxed for 30 minutes with a quiet mug of coffee.

Yesterday I managed to keep my mouth shut but it took a lot of trouble.

We had a party yesterday for family, friends and neighbors to celebrate my
50th birthday. Afterwards we had arranged to have dinner with my kids and also of course my cousin and her 2 kids in a good (quite expensive) restaurant. We had gone there a few days beforehand with her kids after I had discovered how difficult the kids were with food.

We arranged (with the restaurant and with the kids) that they would get a special menu so that they would also be able to eat something there.
We arranged that these kids would get a plain burger with fries which they agreed would be food that they would eat. (We had fabulous food which my cousin and my own kids thoroughly enjoyed.)
About half way through the dinner I noticed that my cousin's kids weren't eating their burger but only the fries and the french bread on the table. When one of the kids came to their mother (I was sitting next to her) to ask something I asked the child why she wasn't eating the burger. She replied that it wasn't the kind of burger she liked. (No it wasn't McDonalds - processed junk - but a normal, plain, real ground meat burger.) I said to her that she should at least taste it since she doesn't know if she doesn't like it until she tastes it. (I said this very nicely btw).
She then started to cry and whine to her mother that she didn't want to eat the burger but also that she was hungry.

(You WILL not believe this but it happened.)
Their mother answered - you are just tired - you don't have to eat it. Have some more bread and in a minute you will get some ice cream and then you won't be hungry any more. WTH!
Tired - they haven't done anything since they arrived except watch TV, sit behind their own laptops chatting with their friends, whining to their mother for 'stuff' and eating (french fries, chips, candy) and drinking cola.
I jest not - remember these kids don't eat normal stuff.

I was so flabbergasted and I almost lost it but I took the high road and I moved along the table to an empty seat and just stayed away from them for the rest of the evening.
THANK GOD they went home this morning.

Where the h... are their manners - this was my birthday dinner?
How dare they!!! How dare their mother not say anything (or would that be 'raising her kids'?)
I took time and effort to make sure that they had something that they would like. They also said that they would eat it. Maybe I should have arranged to get a McDonalds burger for them before we had dinner.

They will not be coming back EVER!!!!!
I have learned my lesson with having houseguests.
Sorry for my language/shouting in this thread but I have had it - I am fuming.

GR!!!!!!!

**Dancing Lotus** · 10-20-2008, 07:48 AM

You never really know someone until you have stayed with them.

I am sorry they were so rude, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY

**Momto2Boyz** · 10-20-2008, 07:51 AM

Congrats on taking the high road! Just keep this visit in mind the next time you have the urge to invite someone to visit!

And Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoyed your party anyway!

**Pemberleyan** · 10-20-2008, 08:07 AM

What relief you must feel! I can't believe what she said to the girl. It will be so much more difficult for them to have any self-discipline when they are older, since they are not denied anything now.

**PrairieRose** · 10-20-2008, 09:39 AM

Happy for you that they're now gone home. It was a very stressful time for you, eh? I think that people like this are inserted into our lives sometimes to help us work to be more 'normal'....

Happy belated birthday!

Now go drink a bottle of wine and celebrate your new found freedom

**mom2three** · 10-20-2008, 09:45 AM

Happy belated birthday and I hope you have some time for peace. As for the kids, I actually feel sorry for them. I have seen the effects of crap food on mental health issues (even in our own house when we were mostly decent nutrition wise). This screams parenting issues to me as well. I'm sorry you had to go through it all.

**faw42077** · 10-20-2008, 11:06 AM

Happy Birthday and despite of the situation with the kids, I hope you had a great party

**Missy** · 10-20-2008, 11:29 AM

Happy belated birthday!!

I am so sorry about how your dinner went. I wouldn't have made an extra effort to get them special menus. You are way more generous than I am. It's their loss really, they could have had a great dinner enjoying your company. And I am very sorry to hear they didn't. Big hugs to you.

**PennyWise** · 10-20-2008, 11:46 AM

Live and learn!

Glad you got rid of the crazy relatives!

**Patty A** · 10-20-2008, 11:57 AM

Happy belated birthday! The real gift you got was THEY ARE GONE! Best gift you have had for a long time.

I can't believe that people can be so rude when someone invites them to their home. They should look at it as an honor and be better about finding guest manners. I often think people have forgotten what it means to have manners any more, it seems to be a thing of the past. I am so glad that they are gone, you will have to take a day or two to just get back to "normal", count your birthday blessings in that they are gone gone gone!

**katybug** · 10-20-2008, 12:17 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I've been following your visit and I have to say I'm horrified by their behavior! (The children's and the mother's) Every time I see something they've done/won't do I just think to myself "my parents would have had my head if I tried that crap." I'm glad they made me eat good food, practice proper hygiene and proper manners. YOU are doing right by your kids and they will be happier in life since you taught them the skills they need.

I hope your cousin never wants the kids to move out, because that is the road they are heading down right now. They will never attract a S.O. being complete slobs and they will not make it in the real world where (quite often) you have to do things you don't want to do. I've seen it happen, I have an uncle still at home (he is in he's mid fifties).

I just wanted to offer my support and I completely agree with you! I wish I was your house guest! I would have so much fun cooking with you, looking at your husband's trains (I just LOVE seeing other people's interests, it is so much fun!). Also you live in a country I want to visit! **WHEW** it is over, don't invite them back, ever. That visit was far too stressful for lovely you!

**Darlene** · 10-20-2008, 12:41 PM

Some people shouldn't be parents. They raise their spawn to be self centered,rude obnoxious, brats that think the world needs to cowtow to their twisted view of reality & they in turn unharness their own set of idiots & the cycle continues. Biggest thing the world can do is not to cater to it. That means not keeping the peace when people pull this bs. You are a nicer person than I, if the spawn were on some special diet for health etc and I would have ordered something special for them. Other than that, like I taught my kids, you eat what is put in front of you and say thank you. The world isn't here to make sure you get your favorites everyday. Glad they are gone and that you won't live like that again.

Deep breath, it's over and you are Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Happy Birthday!!:bday:

**FrugalMomof3** · 10-20-2008, 01:49 PM

First off Happy Belated Birthday!

2ndly, I am glad they are gone for your sake, with family like that who needs enemies right? It's a shame that she just doesn't raise them right, I hate to see how they are when they "grow" up.

**rosey7415** · 10-20-2008, 06:39 PM

happy belated birthday from me also.

thank god they are gone! i think you deserve a lot of pampering time now....lol live and learn......i learned this myself quite a while ago. when i go and visit someone i refuse to stay with them and go to the local hotel. i just feel more comfortable and don't want to over intrude on their space.

QM · 10-20-2008, 06:45 PM

Happy birthday!

I agree that lots of people don't have manners...it's sad, but so, so true!

Thread: update on family staying here!!!

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Display