Me Time

**khjmom** · 11-01-2008, 09:38 PM

Ok, I have to ask....how many of you actually take time for yourself? I actually got yelled at this week for forgetting about me. I was told I was too stressed..which I thought was a well duh....moment (Isn't everyone) and that the reason I wasn't feeling well was self inflicted. I had to step back for a moment, because it ticked me off, to realize that it was true. I seem to put everyone and everything first. So, how many of you actually take time for yourself? What do you do and how does your family react? My friend told me that she actually takes 25 minutes each day for herself. No excuses. She walks in her room and locks her door. (Her kids are told not to bother her unless they are bleeding or on fire...and she does make sure that they have had their snack and are having free time themselves, they are older kids). If for whatever reason she doesn't take her 25 minutes, she has to put $25 in her piggy bank. That she was told would be used for her funeral since when she first started this, she had already had a heart attack and was working on her second from stress and lack of care for herself. In three years time she has only put $75 in that jar. I want to take the time for myself but how do I shut off the "I have to...." to do that? There always seems to be something that needs to be done, between my mom (has breast cancer) and my home and job. Any ideas? Terri

**missyali** · 11-01-2008, 09:44 PM

I, too, cannot wait to hear responses for this. I yelled at my kids today because, as usual, it is the weekend and I am the one: 1. with the kids, 2. cleaning the house, and 3. shopping for the family. I LOVE my family, but it gets old being responsible for someone every moment of my life. I KNOW "When you become a mother...." I'm just saying it would be nice to go to the bathroom in peace (and alone) every once in awhile.

POST, POST, POST! I need help here, too!

**khjmom** · 11-01-2008, 09:51 PM

What!? There is someone else in the world that doesn't get to go to the bathroom alone and in peace?

**madhen** · 11-01-2008, 09:52 PM

I'm not much help, because I have no kids. I do, however, have over thirty finches, four budgies, five parrots, two dogs, thirty-one goats, three donkeys, over thirty chickens, and a pond full of goldfish, all of whom think my job is to keep them comfortable and fed.

I also have a "full time" job (which usually turns into a full time and then some job).

I found out recenty that I have vocal chord dysfunction, which I am told is an ailment that typically affects Type A personality, over-achieving, professional women. Does that give you a clue?

What is weird is that I never feel like I'm not getting "me" time, probably because I enjoy taking care of the animals, and I usually find what I do at work stimulating and interesting. But I rarely have time to sit down and not have something wanting to crawl on me (lately, it's the baby finches) or wanting me to feed it.

I normally work myself into a frenzy, then crash and get sick for a week or more. Usually once or twice a year. When I get sick, it is the high fever, chills, can't do anything but lay there and wish you were dead kind of sick. Unfortunately, the animals are not sympathetic, so I still have to get up at least twice a day and feed them. But the rest of the day is totally "me" time.

**dwallyfam** · 11-01-2008, 10:11 PM

Me time is very important. I have it every night with a little extra every two weeks.

1. Every two weeks I have a manicure. It takes 1.5 hours and I am away from the house. Hubby sees it makes a difference in me.

2. Every night about 30 minutes before I got to sleep I will get in my jammies and read a book. Just me and no one else.

Kellie

**LynnLC** · 11-01-2008, 11:11 PM

Time for yourself is VERY important. Kids and everyone else in your life will benefit if you take care of yourself. Taking care of everyone else is draining. You need to make you a priority as much as you can.

My grandmother adored and took care of my sister and I but she had a little saying-
"I love you but- you joined my life , I didn't join yours." We knew exactly what she meant.

**warramra** · 11-01-2008, 11:15 PM

I was going to come on here tonight and post something very similar. I'm about at the end of my rope lately too. I am not good about taking me time and I really need it to get myself back on keel. In fact, tonight after we shoo'd the two oldest off to sleepovers and put the youngest two in bed, I told DH that I wanted, no needed to get away for 24 hours. He agreed an even up-ed it by saying that he was going to take Wednesday off and take all four kids somewhere for the entire day!! And that I needed to find out where I wanted to go take my weekend. While I'm gone I'll work on a plan to see if I can't find more quiet time for me. And, well maybe spending the time with daddy, the children will figure out that they can go to him for things too, and not just me all the time.

**zakity** · 11-02-2008, 12:54 AM

Yep, I get "me time" a few times a month. If not, I am a little cranky... Okokok, way more than a little...

**Royal** · 11-02-2008, 01:56 AM

I have me-time every Tuesday and Friday evening when my DH takes my 2 boys to swimming lessons (from 5:30 - 6:30pm). On Tuesdays I go to Step Aerobics (almost never missed one class in the last 3 1/2 years) from 6:30-7:30pm. And on the Friday I just relax and watch TV and make dinner while the boys and DH are at swimming lessons. My DH thinks its very important that I get me-time. I know that if I'm happy and taken care of than I am a lot nicer, funner and better mom. I know, I have a great husband.

Oh yeah, in the morning while we are getting ready for work and school my DH gets the boys dressed and makes breakfast for them so that I can shower and take my time doing my hair.

**kittykatstrong** · 11-02-2008, 03:18 AM

I was just thinking the other day how I am always on. At work I am charge of employees and the store and at home I am charge of my kids and the home. Just for one day a month I would love to

A) not make one decision
B) not clean
C) not have people complain to me

I read somewhere that you should always take off Feb. 29 because it is an extra day and you should do what you want. I think once a month is needed for me.

**Patty A** · 11-02-2008, 06:54 AM

I think we all know that saying, "if Mom ain't happy, nobody's happy." We know this is true - if a mom is sick, angry, upset, or tired, the whole house is in a uproar.

We devote so much of ourselves to everyone else. I think it is a must to try for at least thirty minutes a day to ourself.

I use to journal every night, and it was a wonderful way of having some me time, and reflecting on the day. I have been thinking that I am going to save for a
jacuzzi type bath tub, lock the bathroom door and take time to relax that way. I really think we more than earn it, and sometimes you just plain need it! My kids are all grown now, but I babysit daily so its just like old times. I am very lucky as I usually don't have young kids on the weekends, so I really have the time now that I didn't when my kids was little. But even with that said, kids aren't the only stressors, and its still nice to have "me" time!

I honestly see it as a must, and working it in to a schedule is just as important as anything else you do all day. Please try to find the time for YOU, you are do in need of it that it has to be done. Even 15 minutes, lock yourself away and take some down time! It does make a difference!

**Jskell911** · 11-02-2008, 12:39 PM

I get up 1/2 hr before I really need to everyday, just so I can get uninturrupted chat time on the computer and ENJOY my coffee! My DH is wonderful about letting me take any me time I need. But my son is 12, pretty self sufficient, and DH helps out tremendously around the house.

I have Fibro, so stress induces flare ups, which is not a good thing. SO, me time is so important

**khjmom** · 11-02-2008, 04:29 PM

It is so good to know that I am not the only one! I have been diagnosed as having lupus, which stress really does make it worse! I have talked to my dh, who by the way surprised me with roses yesterday evening, that I need some time for me. We are going with me having 30 minutes as soon as I get home from work, and then 30 minutes later in the evening. I will use the second 30 minute time for a walk or time to exercise to a dvd. I know I need to have this time for me. My health has got to stay strong for those around me, especially my mom right now. There are other changes in my life that I know I need to make, such as cutting back on all of the extra things I do, and just letting go of things that bother me. I need to learn how to say NO! I would love to see other ideas...I do like the idea of getting up 30 minutes earlier...and the exercise. I can't handle to many more crash and burns...so I need to work on these changes. Anymore ideas?

**AmyBoz** · 11-02-2008, 04:42 PM

I don't, and I know I should. Heck, when I pee, I usually have a 2 year old on my lap and when I shower, someone is usually in the room chatting with me. It's a 2009 goal of mine.

**Helpinghand** · 11-02-2008, 05:11 PM

I give myself one hour in the morning to have coffee and poke around on the computer while my kids watch Sesame Street. They go to bed at 7:30pm and 8:30pm. I spend about an hour with my husband, and then take a bath and read. I look forward to this bath all day! Also, about one day a month I meet up with my girlfriends for lunch, and sometimes go shopping or to a movie. My husband has similar time to himself. He plays on the computer or PS3 before he goes to bed, and watches football with his buddies on Sundays. A little alone time keeps us happy and gives us a chance to center ourselves. You have to take care of yourself too!