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11-07-2008, 05:37 PM #1Registered User
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Dog Diary, VS Cat Diary!!!!!!!!!!!
DOG DIARY
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.Proud wife to Randy
Proud Mom of~Sam 23
Nick 18
Kevin 17
Courtney 16
Holly 13
Jacob 11
Maggie 1
Change Jar Challenge $45.12
Mommy's organized home challenge
Utility room
Pantry
Closet
Bedroom Bathroom
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11-07-2008, 05:39 PM #2Moderator
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This Is Laugh Out Loud Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:
Traci
dh 20 years
ds 14 ~ Russia
ds 14 ~ Russia
dd 6 ~ China
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11-07-2008, 05:47 PM #3Registered User
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Funny~Funny!! That brightened my day~Thanks!!
~Debra~Wife to Jeff
2011 Challenges
Reading Challenge: 45/100
~Currently Reading: An assortment of Love Inspired Books
Gardening: Zone 8
"All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own"~Anonymous
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11-07-2008, 07:06 PM #4Registered User
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To true, and the kitten is looking at me funny. I am afraid!
Mom to Emma, Spencer, Connor, Lily,Fletcher, Amelia and Adeline.
Mortgage $78,500/$15,200
EF 3 mo income barring
anymore emergencies
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11-07-2008, 08:29 PM #5Registered User
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That is hysterical!
I'm going to read it to my dh, as soon as he gets off the phone.______
Cheryl
"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance, but by our disposition." -------Martha Washington
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11-07-2008, 10:44 PM #6Registered User
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Too funny. This is why I have 4 cats, I was going to say I own 4 cats but really they own me and allow me to live here. Hey I even pay the mortgage. Boy are they smart
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11-08-2008, 07:44 AM #7Rude and Vile Master
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How Cats and Dogs think:
The dog thinks, she gives me food, she gives me water, she must be a God.
The cat thinks, she gives me food, she gives me water, *I* am a God!If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.
Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"
Greebo(Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels.
WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!
ThreeTwo mortgages,twooneno car loans,oneno credit cards, and a partridge in pear tree!
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11-08-2008, 08:38 AM #8Registered User
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That is the funniest thing ever
The dog diary is my dog only you have to put it on warp speed, LOL!Nancy
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11-08-2008, 10:52 AM #9Registered User
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that is too funny. Sad thing is that is how all of mine think!
Pine trees, with their needles pointing up to heaven, represent everlasting light and life.
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11-08-2008, 03:06 PM #10Registered User
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LOL. I can see my cat writing that.
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11-08-2008, 03:09 PM #11Moderator aka AmyBob
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Lolololololol!!!
My Blog: http://amysreallife.wordpress.com
Amy
Wife to
Mommy to 4
Public School Teacher
Our Only Debt: Mortgage - $454,243.56
2012 Grocery Challenge: $474.57/$500 January
Fling 2012 Things in 2012 Challenge: 253/2012
Reading Challenge: 6 book read in 2012
Always remember others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."
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11-08-2008, 03:26 PM #12
Well, that is the funniest thing I have read today....I had to clean the computer screen! My dh thinks I am nuts now...he doesn't understand why I am laughing at the computer...I thinks he needs to come read this.
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11-08-2008, 07:05 PM #13Registered User
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Very cute! I love this one!
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11-08-2008, 08:09 PM #14Registered User
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Funny!
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11-08-2008, 09:12 PM #15Registered User
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So true! My cat is constantly trying to trip me, too!
Mom to two crazy boys
and wife to Mr. Wonderful
"A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around." --Carolyn Birmingham
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