My sis and money, a rant of sorts

[Xadrian]

This pops into my head from time to time, I guess moreso this week. My husband and I have a medical bill ($3,000ish) we need paid off by January or else care credit is going to lump on around $900 in interest. So we cut corners, eat free where we can and are generally stressed out about making the deadline. My sister on the other hand has always had bills but has always had a carefree attitude about it.


Let me give you some background on my sister:

She's been scamming people since she was a teenager. Ordering from book clubs under fake names, shoplifting etc. It never stopped, when she grew up. She's 35 now and still scamming. Her biggest scam is Ebay. She comes away with so many free things from people, her excuse is to "teach people a lesson" on not being so careful when selling things. Her house is completely full top to bottom with junk never opened she's scammed or bought. Last year she said screw it and her and her husband filed for bankruptcy. A week after they filed they were out spending oodles of money again. Sadly, my sister has even taken advantage of me by never repaying me money loaned to her.

I looked at her ebay profile page this week and she's bought over $400 worth of more junk this week alone (not including shipping)..Sometimes I think about that, like right now my husband and I's bed is a broken pull out couch and I'd love to have that $400 to buy a mattress or just pay a bill or buy something we need. I get down about it and think sometimes what is the point of paying off bills? However I know it's the right thing to do. It makes it harder to struggle and do the right thing by paying off bills when my sister files bankruptcy and continues to buy buy buy!

Not really there was a point to this, but I just needed to get this off my chest. Anyone have family like this?

[Marie78]

I have a cousin that scammed my grandparents out of every penny they had. I haven't talked to him since. Some family members don't deserve our time or thoughts. You are doing the right thing by not racking up debt, even if it means going without some things right now. We all have to do that from time to time. If you are anything like me, you wouldn't sleep well at night if you scammed others.

[annymoll]

Your sister is a thief. You are not.You may struggle, and have a little bit lumpier sleep, but at least you can rest with a clear conscience. And that is worth its weight in gold.

[Contrary Housewife]

She'll stop spending so much when she ends up in jail.

[Nana2two]

Maybe she is BI POLAR. She might have a illness since its gone back to childhood.

[mrsmac62]

Maybe she is BI POLAR. She might have a illness since its gone back to childhood.

Since I am bipolar myself, I felt compelled to reply to this. I have problems when I am manic & spend extra money without really thinking about it.
BUT being bipolar does not make you dishonest or abusive. I have many bipolar friends who are responsible when it comes to paying their own debts & wouldn't dream of thieving or defrauding anyone. It's not fair or adult to use mental illness as an excuse for bad behaviour. We are all born with a conscience. Some people dull theirs through practice and no longer care who they hurt.

[Xadrian]

Aye, very true - I don't think I could ever live with myself if I scammed or ripped off people. I do believe the harder you work for something the more meaning it has to you. I guess I may not have much, but I always have something she never has - no matter what I"m usually a pretty happy and agreeable person. She has always been pretty spiteful and malicious.

I wonder about the bi-polar myself, but she never has "ups" and always unpleasant to be around.The spending/thieving part has always been there. The last time I spoke with her was 2 months ago, when I flew back to my old home to sell off the rest of our belongings. She couldn't be bothered to pick me up at the airport because it would be an hour drive time for her, (she doesn't work/kids are at school) so I had a friend of my husband pick me up (was a stranger to me, who took off work just to do this) never said a final goodbye to her nor my neice and nephew. It's better not talking to her, but sad because I'll be losing my relationship with my niece and nephew.

[mrsmac62]

It's better not talking to her, but sad because I'll be losing my relationship with my niece and nephew.

When they get older, perhaps you can contact them then

[FrugalMomof3]

Your sister is a major thief and her time will come.

[Patty A]

mrsmac62 said it best when she said "We are all born with a conscience. Some people dull theirs through practice and no longer care who they hurt"! I second this, as you wouldn't do these things if you had a conscience!

Annymoll, "Your sister is a thief. You are not.You may struggle, and have a little bit lumpier sleep, but at least you can rest with a clear conscience. And that is worth its weight in gold."

I have to totally agree with this, conscience plays a huge roll in who we are and what we choose to do, you yourself said your sisters excuse is to teach people a lesson, I think that tells the real reason she does what she does. She doesn't have a conscience and doesn't care what she does, she sees it as a lesson to others not to have faith in people! Thank GOD I have a conscience, I could never hurt people by taking advantage of them, nor could I BLAME it on teaching them a lesson! She is a me person, she doesn't care who she hurts (including family) or how she does it and uses the excuse of teaching them a lesson to justify her actions. Its wrong, no matter how you look at it, it is wrong and she has no conscience to keep being able to do these things.
IMHO, your better off staying away from her, you never know if you will be next on her list to learn a lesson!

[Nana2two]

Im also bipolar,i had a spending issue also, but i was not a thief and didnt defraud people. But if she has been doing this for so long, she needs some help.I would let her know if she countinues with this behavior you will report her if she is stealing from stores ect. It might take a few time for her to get caught by the law to make her stop.

[rainbowgc]

She sounds sociopathic to me

[Xadrian]

"She sounds sociopathic to me"

Thanks for your candor, I completely agree! She does other things that make me question whether or not something is amiss with her..

Patty A: Your right about me possibly being the next one to be taught a lesson. I actually stopped talking to her for a total of eight years and recently was reunited a little over two years ago. I thought she had changed a bit, she rattled off on how she would go visit nursing homes in her spare time etc. I thought, wow! maybe she has changed..but nope. When I did stop talking to her before she did drive 1k miles down to where I lived to harrass my boss at work to give out my work schedule, then had the police knocking on my door -she told them my roomate kidnapped me and wouldn't let me talk to her... Thank god my roomate had a sense of humor...

Anyway, hurray for overtime..hubby had some yesterday and today..so more money to throw at pesky bills!

[madhen]

I had a semi-relative who visited nursing homes all the time. She spent all her time trying to "win" over the older patients, hoping they would change their wills to give all their material goods to her. It worked enough times that she kept at it, although she would just throw fits if she found out she didn't get everything.

[miss_thrifty]

hmm just wondering how the heck can u scam and get free things in ebay? dont u have to have paypal first set up and the money given to get the items u want? plus im sorry to say if my sister was scamming all the time and getting away with it. i would make the call. i know i sound harsh but she will never get caught and get the help she needs . this is just my opinion.