Job loss leads to spending guilt for holiday spending.

**Gardengal18** · 11-24-2008, 12:14 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/11/24...ilt/index.html

I was just reading this article and well I was a little bit surprised that they spent $600 on their 3 year old last Christmas. I tend to think there are reasons why they are having a hard time of paying the bills. Hopefully a relative will get them Dave's Total Money Makeover as a gift this year.

**annymoll** · 11-24-2008, 12:27 PM

I would feel guilty if I spent 600 bucks on a three year old, in good times, or in bad times.I would not feel guilty because I had to limit the Christmas gift giving.Sounds like an attitude adjustment is in order for so many these days.

**vigilant20** · 11-24-2008, 12:35 PM

Wow that's some crazy spending. My parents were wonderfully frugal when I was growing up and they were saving to buy their own house. They'd spend $100 on all 3 of us, picking things we'd all enjoy. These days we don't do presents at all, or occasionally do a secret swap so we only have to buy one or two things for our person. Really, it's going to church and spending time together that makes it Christmas.

**monkeywrangler71** · 11-24-2008, 12:54 PM

The job was lost the end of last week, they are 3 to 4 weeks behind on all their bills. Um, it's Monday, doesn't that mean he's been out of work for one day? These people obviously were behind on their bills long before the job disappeared. I have a hard time feeling sorry for someone who spends $600 on one child while not saving enough to pay their electric bill.

**Russ** · 11-24-2008, 01:18 PM

just got emails from my SIL "suggesting" we all chip in for the MIL and FIL's gift that will cost $250 and her daughters gift which will cost $175.
This just pisses me off because she can't afford to pay her own bills let alone buy extravagant gifts for people.
This 50 y/o woman has no concept of a budget and "borrows" money from somebody, except us, EVERY month to pay bills...her mom, her son and her daughter.

I think I'm on the verge of getting laid off,so the wife and are are NOT buying anything for ourselves and if anyone gets anything it will be very little.

Sorry for the rant, tough day and the emails set me off.

**Momof3girls** · 11-24-2008, 01:29 PM

Sorry you are having a rough time Russ.

**katybug** · 11-24-2008, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by rcannon

just got emails from my SIL "suggesting" we all chip in for the MIL and FIL's gift that will cost $250 and her daughters gift which will cost $175.
This just pisses me off because she can't afford to pay her own bills let alone buy extravagant gifts for people.
This 50 y/o woman has no concept of a budget and "borrows" money from somebody, except us, EVERY month to pay bills...her mom, her son and her daughter.

I think I'm on the verge of getting laid off,so the wife and are are NOT buying anything for ourselves and if anyone gets anything it will be very little.

Sorry for the rant, tough day and the emails set me off.

I once got a similar request from my SIL, but for a $600 birthday gift for a sibling. DH was all for it! (We have since brought him down to earth). I was livid, these people NEVER buy me anything for my b-day and with all the people *chipping* in for this gift it would still be about $100 per person, and I'm assuming she didn't count DH and I as one so it would have been $200 for us.

I told DH I would be fine with $20. I don't remember whatever happened with it, I'll have to ask him when he gets home.

I have a *thing* about gifts, especially from that side of the family. I would like to move into the NO gifts for anything stage of my life. All the adults in our families have plenty of stuff (too much in fact, my parents just de-junked YEARS worth of stuff and my in-laws, nevermind, I can't go into it, it is insane) so I would rather save our money events and getting together rather then *stuff*.

This is a major rant for me, because my in-laws have some sort of pathological need to buy gifts for every-freakin-thing but do it for themselves, not for the receivee. So I've ended up with alot of junk. They also don't need to spend money, they are flirting with bankruptcy right now. For my last b-day my MIL got me several sheets of stamps and overnighted it in a gift-envelope (the ones you buy at the post office). Uh-huh.

The thing that finally made me want to say, Ok, I'm DONE was last x-mas. My SIL asked for a list of what we wanted, but bought me a season of a TV show she liked and gave it to us because she thought we would like it. SHE asked for the list and didn't even bother to get me something I actually wanted. BTW, I didn't like the TV show and ended up selling the DVD on half.com.

WOW sorry for the rant.

I'm just sick of holiday *giving* and wish my in-laws would stop, my family is fine with the idea. I really don't *want* anything. No actually, my greatest want is for my in-laws to get their shit together so I can stop worrying about them, but that is WAY harder for them (and not as much fun as buying whatever they want) then running to the post office and buying stamps.

~KB (yes, who has *issues* how could you tell?)

**Russ** · 11-24-2008, 01:50 PM

KB, I'm with you. Wish the SIL would get it together.

btw, she is getting a Dave Ramsey book for Christmas.

**Gardengal18** · 11-24-2008, 02:34 PM

I would just tell her/them that due to the economy that you "just can't swing it this year SORRY".

**HappyMama** · 11-24-2008, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by rcannon

just got emails from my SIL "suggesting" we all chip in for the MIL and FIL's gift that will cost $250 and her daughters gift which will cost $175.
This just pisses me off because she can't afford to pay her own bills let alone buy extravagant gifts for people.
This 50 y/o woman has no concept of a budget and "borrows" money from somebody, except us, EVERY month to pay bills...her mom, her son and her daughter.

I think I'm on the verge of getting laid off,so the wife and are are NOT buying anything for ourselves and if anyone gets anything it will be very little.

Sorry for the rant, tough day and the emails set me off.

I am sorry Russ. Sending good thoughts your way and hope things go better soon. I agree with everyone and would just tell SIL due to economy this year that won't be doable. Glad you are getting her the Dave Ramsey book!!!

I saw this article this morning also and thought my goodness this lady needs a reality check!

**StartingOver** · 11-24-2008, 02:59 PM

There was a link to another story about this family

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-149129

"Edited to add-for those of you who are bashing me for spending money on my daughter for her holiday presents, let me clafiy something. I did not do a 600.00 TOY spree like CNN is reporting. We spent money on clothes, shoes and a new winter coat my daugther desperately needed because she's growing like a WEED. Did I buy her toys, sure, what parent wouldn't? But in no way, shape or form did we spend 600.00 on a TOY spree. I believe I told the reporter we spent 600.00 TOTAL on Christmas last year"

**C@rol** · 11-24-2008, 03:14 PM

Add in unrealistic expectations and pressures for the perfect Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah, and Harris says it's a recipe for disappointment and depression.
Urged families to re-focus their expectations and take a fresh look at what the holidays really mean.

I was just saying to dh last night that a lot of people when down on they luck (lose their job, etc.) do things such as this. Really spend money or use credit they should be holding onto in case of an emergency or they don't get a new job quickly.

Some do it thinking it will make them feel better.

OT: Did anyone else notice the name of the city they live in. :clol:

**Gardengal18** · 11-24-2008, 03:16 PM

She can try to "justify" it all she wants but the FACT of the matter is SHE STILL SPENT $600 ON A 3 YEAR OLD! Who in their right mind spends that kind of money on a child who won't even remember it, not to mention has probably already OUTGROWN those clothes by now? Especially when your electricity is about to get turned off. That one definetly needs a reality check fer sur. Oh yes, some definetly have that "entitlement" mentailty.

**Trishagirl** · 11-24-2008, 03:44 PM

Unfortunately there are alot of families in the same boat. Luckily I forsaw the future and have a good job and saved for the unforseen. My dh is layed off this week and the plant might be shut down over christmas and new years, but they haven't told him yet. So I've been preparing for that with stockpiling and saving whenever I can. More people need to plan for the future and now just blow their money and be stupid Just like the big companies holding out their hand for help from the Govt!

**MomToTwoBoys** · 11-24-2008, 04:56 PM

Anyone spending that much on their child at one time needs a swift kick in the rear with the boot of reality. $600 on a child for clothes, shoes, a new winter coat, and toys is completely unreal! I guarantee you that they could have spent way less than that and gotten the same thing.

I went out today with a budget of $200 for the kids, DH and some stocking stuffers for everyone else and ended up spending about $150. The other $50 is for DH's gifts which are necessities. I still feel like I overspent and that was even on things they would definitely use. God now that I think about it, I suck at this whole shopping thing for the holidays.