Is your family/spouse/significant other frugal, too?

**PaulaMM** · 12-03-2008, 12:32 PM

I was wondering if you were all alone in your frugal endeavors or if your family was on board.

First off, I would like to say that I am married to a great guy! He's a hard worker, a good dad and my best friend. (as long as work doesn't have him p.o'ed) He's not one who expect the house to be spotless and he never fails to tell me or the kids that he loves us daily.

However, when it comes to our finances, he doesn't have a clue and doesn't want one. I have to go behind him and turn off and unplug everything, even though he agrees that it's necessary to keep our electric bill down. I can't count the number of overdrafts we have had because he had written checks and forgot to write them down or used the debit card and forgot to tell me.<a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZSYYYYYYYYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F2%255F202%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_202.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D4%252F4_2_202%2526uiv%253D3.0/image.gif"></a> He's a sucker for fishing stuff and loves Wal Mart more than any man I've ever met.

Sometimes, he'll buy me little things that he thinks I might need, even if I don't. Just last week, he bought me a set of Paula Deen knives. This week, he picked up a $10 pack of flourescent markers because it had some new colors. ( I use them for Angel Food but I have more than enough). I always let him know how much I appreciate the thought but it makes me feel like a bully when I make him take the stuff back. We just don't have the money right now to buy all that little stuff that he likes to buy.

I have tried to get him excited about Dave Ramsey's plan and when I try to talk to him about it, he listens and says "You do whatever it takes, hon. I'll support you to the fullest." But then, he'll drop by Wal Mart or come up with all kinds of stuff he "needs" and busts the budget.

I've tried the whole "Let's each take out a bit of money to use for whatever we want and when it's gone, it's gone" approach but for him, when it's gone, it's time to put he stuff on the debit card. <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZSYYYYYYYYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F2%255F202%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_202.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D4%252F4_2_202%2526uiv%253D3.0/image.gif"></a>

I'm not his mother and I won't nag him. After all, he does make the money. I just wish I could talk frugality with him more and have him be as excited about our financial future as I am. I think I got to him when I told him that with Dave Ramsey's TMMO, I could have him retired from his job within 10-13 years. I asked him to pick up some lettuce for tacos for our daughter's birthday dinner and he came home with 2 bags of reduced price lettuce!

Now, wilted lettuce is NOT what I had in mind but I was so tickled with him and his effort that I kept my mouth shut and proudly piled wilted, slightly off color shredded lettuce on my tacos.

Baby steps. Baby steps!

**mmy2grls** · 12-03-2008, 12:45 PM

My 8 year old carries coupons in her little purse to help save us money. She even watches for fast food coupons for things her and her sister likes. She's starting to learn how to make wise choices.

**PaulaMM** · 12-03-2008, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by mmy2grls

My 8 year old carries coupons in her little purse to help save us money. She even watches for fast food coupons for things her and her sister likes. She's starting to learn how to make wise choices.

That is so cute! You're a good mom for teaching your daughter financial responsibility so early in life!

**ladytoysdream** · 12-03-2008, 01:26 PM

My hubby is going to think he married a scrooge.
I have 3 weeks of unemployment left and that money I get each week is based on 20 hrs and less of part time jobs in the last few years. It's a small check.
I been buying groceries and putting gas in the vehicles. His check is for our regular monthly bills. Nothing left over. And soon to be less.
He gets a allowance of $ 25 a week. He maybe buying food or gas with it sooner than he thinks. I think he thinks I am kiding him how tight things are going to get. Our wood for heat is not in the current budget. I hope he fiqures out where to get some for little or nothing for next winter's heat.
I been tracking money spent on groceries this last month. This month is not going to be anywhere near November's amount.

Not much for jobs here locally. Quite a few recent layoffs.

**mmy2grls** · 12-03-2008, 01:28 PM

Unfortunately she has learned we have to make wise decisions or we may want or need something and the money is not there.

She's silly at times. She clipped a coupon that was $1 off 2 chapsticks. She wanted a chapstick and was so adamant that we had to but 2 to save more even though we didn't need 2. I let her buy 2 with the coupon, a spare chapstick won't hurt.

**The Muse** · 12-03-2008, 01:32 PM

My DH is surprisingly frugal considering his parents' habits. He was a financial mess when I met him, but he's come a long way. He can tend to be pennywise and pound foolish at times though, but he tries and that's why I'm in charge of the money in our household.

**Starlight9803** · 12-03-2008, 01:39 PM

my DH is so-so in the frugal department. He's made his share of big financial mistakes (some of which we are still paying for), but he is slowly getting better. My only real complaint is like yours, he just doesn't get the whole mentality of it. He thinks the little things are no big deal. He doesn't discourage me from hanging clothes, washing in cold, cutting of lights, etc, but he doesn't help either, which is irritating sometimes.

**fixer** · 12-03-2008, 01:50 PM

My DW and I are on the same page when it comes to money. It helps that we were brought up in similar circumstances. We both learned at an early age that money is to hard to come by to send frivolously. I have to prod her into buying new clothes. The minister who counseled us prior to marriage said that ninety percent of your fights are about money or sex and that if we could come to a consensus on them we would have it made. So of the best advise I have ever received.

**rachelj** · 12-03-2008, 01:57 PM

Dh and I are equally frugal. Altho in different ways. Like it is easy for me "to get by" with the cheap alternative where as dh is willing to spend for quality with much more ease than I am. I usually regret my "get by" choice later anyway.

**Sassyclass** · 12-03-2008, 02:05 PM

My fiance was a single OTR truck driver when we met. He always had plenty of money in the bank and in his wallet. If he wanted something he would simply pay cash. Fastforward to us. Establishing credit for someone who never had any took a while but we have done it. Now he is slowly learning the difference between wanting and needing something. It's hard breaking someone, who has always had lots of cash on hand , of the habit of seeing something and just going out and buying it. Oh and he has always paid his bills so that is a good point for him. He is learning though and to me that is what is important. I guess he has decided that it's better to not ask for something than to hear me lecture him on whether it's a need or a want or hear me say again " you don't get anything else until such and such is paid off!" We don't buy anything without discussing it with each other first so that helps.
In all fairness though I have been as big of a problem as he has. I always gave in when he wanted another guitat, car, or bike. I'm learning to say NO, it's my turn and I want my house!

Cat

**cab54** · 12-03-2008, 05:04 PM

Not DH. But my sons have learned to be fairly frugal out on their own. Out of necessity, lol.

**IntlMom** · 12-03-2008, 05:15 PM

My dh is pretty frugal.....not to the extent that I am, but keeps a pretty close watch on money too.

**djbout** · 12-03-2008, 05:23 PM

My DH is a paradox, or maybe he's an enigma, hmm, well anyways he is a fanatic about paying the bills, and stays on top of them, but when he see we have "available credit" he wants to go spend. An example would be he wanted to added to the gifts for YDS 14, here's the conversation:

DH: The Staples card is paid off and I want to get DS an XBOX360, they are "only" $199.99

Me: You know he's already received his christmas gift( family pooled in for snowboarding pass/equip/gear).

DH: Yeah, but I'd really like to get it for him, he doesn't play his old Xbox, the controllers broken.

Me

Thinking, what the fudge), um, did he even ask for an XBOX360?

DH: No.

Me: Well hun, thats really nice of you, but he is already getting his dream gift this year, if we don't buy it he's not gonna miss it.

DH: Well I guess your right, his gift is already taken care of, that just means I can buy myself Guitar Hero,it's on sale! ( Smiles like a little boy)

Me: UUGGHH!!! I can't win!!!!

I wont give up, but somedays he just does what he wants anyways!

**Ceashels** · 12-03-2008, 09:26 PM

Greebo is getting there but it isn't as ingrained in him as it is me.

**mom2matty** · 12-03-2008, 09:40 PM

My dh was much more frugal than I was when we first married, he taught me a lot about being frugal! Our 21 year old is very frugal and careful with money. She will be graduating from college in June and can only work about 10 hours a week with her school schedule. She is a huge bargain shopper and always goes to the clearance racks first when we are out!! Ds who is almost 15 hasn't learned yet but we are working on him!!