keeping secrets

**Russ** · 12-22-2008, 09:35 AM

ok ladies, I need your opinion.

My wife's sister came to town as a surprise for Christmas. My FIL told me she was coming because he wanted to borrow our inflatable bed, but asked me not to tell my wife, and I agreed.
So yesterday her sister calls and says she is in town and I told my wife I knew she was coming and now she is upset with me because I didn't tell her. She is questioning my loyalty. So, in your opinion, should I have told her?

**Darlene** · 12-22-2008, 09:42 AM

No. You keeping this secret wasn't to hurt or deceive her, if it was that would be another story. Your DW needs to let it go.
Would have been nicer if she opened the door & there was her sister though, a phone call seems a little anti-climatic.

**LexTysMommy** · 12-22-2008, 09:45 AM

I agree with above poster, you didnt hide it to be malicious, so nothing wrong with wanting to surprise her, but i think she shouldve showed up and said SURPRISE.

**TexasPeanut** · 12-22-2008, 09:48 AM

My honest opinion, if her visit was seriously a surprise for your wife for the holidays and taking into account if she and her sister get along quite well, then no you shouldn't have told her. But saying that, if maybe she and her sister aren't the best of buds and don't get along well at all, then maybe a heads up that she's going to have to see her over the holidays may have been a good idea .But questioning your loyalty over it all seems a bit harsh to me. I could see myself whether I adored this sibling or not saying to DH "You (choose a word) you should have told me!" but not even being angry or questioning him on his loyalty to me. Deep down I would probably know DH meant well in keeping the secret and getting upset over it, stressing about it would just seem to worsen the situation that shouldn't be that bad to begin with.

**nvmommyx6** · 12-22-2008, 09:52 AM

I agree, you did nothing wrong, she should be happy! Good for you for trying!

Now, if it were me in that scenario, I would have to kill someone because I would not want to see my sister and probably have to put both hubby and sister in jail!!!
ROFLMAO

**Izzy0906** · 12-22-2008, 09:55 AM

I also agree with the above poster.

**Gibs** · 12-22-2008, 09:56 AM

I do not think that u did anything wrong. You were keeping a secret to suprise your wife, not to hurt her or hide something bad.

**Momto2Boyz** · 12-22-2008, 10:00 AM

I agree with everyone. You did it as a happy surprise, so nothing wrong with it. We flew my brother in last year for my mom's 60th surprise b-day party. She was mad that we didn't tell her, but she got over it quickly!

**fernykins** · 12-22-2008, 10:03 AM

No you should not have told it was a surprise...........Your DW needs to lighten up its Christmas a time for surprises.........
Fern

**nancycg56** · 12-22-2008, 11:01 AM

It was a surprise ~ you did the right thing

**Texasgirl** · 12-22-2008, 11:02 AM

You did nothing wrong.

Your dw needs to just get over it. What is done is done and you can't change what has happened in the past.

Maybe your wife does not like suprises.

**Athena31** · 12-22-2008, 11:17 AM

No you did nothing wrong. Everyone deserves a surprise and she should be thrilled and get over it already!

**McD** · 12-22-2008, 11:25 AM

To be blunt Russ, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. It's not like you were hiding a credit card, a lover, a life-threatening disease.

You were suprising her. How is it different then not telling her what you are getting her for Christmas? That's also a suprise but she doesn't question your loyalty on that, does she?

**Ilovesewing** · 12-22-2008, 11:26 AM

Wow. This wasn't keeping a secret, it was keeping a surprise. It has nothing to do with your loyalties!

**phoeny_moonstar** · 12-22-2008, 11:32 AM

I really don't think you had any bad intentions on not telling your wife about her sister arriving. Now, if they had "bad blood" between them then I would probably say yes, but since I don't think that's the case, I think what you did was fine.